I feel like there's a special set of problems that women who work out of the home don't encounter in the same way we do
Often we work at home, isolated, andeven if you can afford, say, a nanny or childminder to watch the children for a few hours, when the children are at home they often assume you are availableeven if you've made it clear that you're not--and they feel extra abandoment when, say, you ask them to leave so you can continue working.
Similarly, my actor friend spent a whole year when she pretty much never put her DD to bed because she had West End performances every night. This was incredibly hard for her DD
My DS (8) is proud that I've published a book and have another on the way, and that I do journalism/criticism too. I get him involved when I can--he is honest if something I've written is rubbish (and is always right!)
But in another way I think children can sense they come "second" to another passion/calling. Which is sadly the case for me right now because my career is just beginning to pick up, and I do put them second sometimes.
It's a huge source of guilt.
I had children because I like children very much, and wanted them badly. I thought I'd easily be able to fit my writing around their school days, etc, but in a way its been the opposite. A structured daily corporate/office job works better IMO--or by the sounds of it, it does.
Oh yes--the other difficulty of being a writer, is that you're out a lot in the evenings. . .lots parties/readings/events, opportunities to hang out with other writers, and lessen the isolation one feels. Also, if you're a creative writer, traveling around giving readings is a source of income.
Are there any other professional writers on here who struggle with ambivalence and MAJOR GUILT about the way they are handling motherhood?