New colleagues making comments about my name

[TeenLifeMum]

At work my small team has joined a larger team with a very different culture.

My birth name is very traditional however I’ve never really been called that and have always been known by my nickname. There are two nickname options - think Elizabeth could be Liz or Beth. The nickname I have is used by my family and friends to the point some friends don’t know my birth name isn’t the nickname.

My new team keeps bringing it up as they’ve never heard it before (apparently - I don’t think it’s that rare and have met others). It’s more common as a name in the USA (where I have family) but does exist in the uk. New colleague is from a culture they never use nicknames and she’s baffled by it and keeps calling me my birth name which has triggered lots of conversations about my name. A few of them are now calling me my birth name as if my nickname is just for friends but I’ve always used it professionally. It’s so odd to me that they aren’t just using my name I’ve introduced myself as.

I am guessing at Victoria/Tori - I knew a Toria and a Tori and it took me ages to connect those to Victoria.

And my name has multiple spellings and multiple shortenings. I go by a short version but have had to have the full version on my most recent email and it pisses me off beyond belief.

I'm from a culture where nm are not often used. I still use the name people asks me to use.

I'm thinking Annaliese

Please tell me you're called Skipper. I loved that doll.

Being in possession of a similar name, it’s fucking annoying when someone latches on to the version of it you don’t use.

Me too, but surely has to be Midge?

Which might explain why nobody is using the nickname, they may think it isn’t one you’d actually welcome? would you nickname a work colleague Gnat or Mozzie?

I would also love your name to be Skipper love it.

Haha, not midge or skipper. A much more normal name.

Stacey is a name used a lot where I am from North East Uk.

Sorry Op I don't know why I am intrigued to know.

But yes a girl at my work name is Samantha. She calls herself Sammy so we all call her Sammy. Not a single person calls her Samanta. Would be rude.

I'm going for Tia.

I'm going with Sandy, and they think you should be Alex instead.

Tbh how common or uncommon it is, and whether or not they've heard it before is completely irrelevant. As is their own culture/tradition.

You have a name you are already known by and want everyone in work to use. For them to use anything else is just tude!

Is your name Christie? 🤔 Can definitely imagine some stupid people would be saying Chris / Chrissie instead.

The name i go by is the usual shortened version of Eleanor, but my birth name isnt Eleanor and this does seem to confuse some people. It was all a lot easier once I got my work email changed, so I'd def try to get that done. Sympathies OP, it's annoying. Hope you can get it sorted.

I think they are being rude. If you've introduced yourself by a name then that's the name they should call you.

Pippa was my favourite Barbie's little sister, but it's rude if they call you Phillipa instead

It’s very rude-keep correcting them.

Victoria/Tiggy?

Keep correcting them. Every time.

They are very rude.

It is definitely the email address. Even when an email address is relatively similar to the "nickname" eg the email says David or Alexandra or Christina I will always second-guess myself about, did this person really ask me to call them Dave or Alex or Chris... or am I now being disrespectful?

If you are Peggy and your email address is Margaret then I am even more likely to either be confused, forget, not dare, not have a reminder or think that maybe Peggy is a family and good friends only name, and play it safe and call you Margaret. Margaret will be the name in my head as I email you cos that's what I've just typed or entered.

I'm not personally the type to use nicknames unless I'm triple sure, but I can also see how after emailing Margaret your new coworkers are then calling you Maggie to your further frustration.

Get IT to change your email to Peggy (with the old Margaret one still defaulting to you, for those externally who have it) and send an email to all saying your email has been updated to reflect the reality of the name that you always use, including professionally. Job done, hopefully- or at least easier to keep reinforcing.

that's so rude OP. Correct them everytime. I had the same problem.when I joined my job. It was a well know derivative of a common Irish/Uk name and the song and dance they made of it! So bloody rude! I go out of my way to try and get people's names right and sometimes I have to ask twice, I don't mind that, but I do mind rude bitchy remarks! You stand by your name OP!

Agree with this!

I never shorten anyone's name unless they've been introduced by that name but to be horrified by someone doing it is peak snowflake, what could possibly be horrifying?

Are you one of the Gen zs I kept reading about who are impossible to work with as they take offence at the most innoccoua things? Make them practice saying the name is ridiculous

Not everyone is out to get you, most times they are just not thinking

I always ask people what they prefer to be called because it is polite and respectful. I think, unfortunately, you will just have to keep correcting people.

Where I work email addresses are made up using people's full names. It is really important when signing an email to use the name you prefer to be used, so [email protected] would sign his name at the end of the email as Andy if that is what he prefers to be called.

I always check how people sign their emails. It isn't difficult.

In our case my mum wanted to give us names that couldn't be shortened or turned into nicknames, so my sibling and I just get called by our names.

I'm also curious which cultures don't use nicknames or shortened names.

Tori:Victoria

This is what I was thinking too.

anyway you never asked us to guess, but as someone who goes by a shortened name (which is now changed legally) I would absolutely kick off.

Who is to say that there isn’t an important reason you don’t go by your birth name?

Ensure all your emails and name tags have your nickname