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Original poster

Work/sick/

110 replies

Carol52 · 17/12/2023 20:30

Hi advice please
I work Monday Tuesday Wednesday
My daughter was sick a week last Tuesday. I had 2 days off work.
My Dd went back to school on the Friday.
She was sick again on the Sunday and was really poorly again so I was not at work last week.
Now I have the bug but I just don't know what work will say I work at a school and only started there in September.
I am worried but what can I do . Any advice or should I not be worried .

OP posts:
Original poster
Carol52 · 07/01/2024 15:51

No I did not because I became sick
thank you all for your messages.
it has made fell a whole lot worse about tomorrow.
vest of luck to you all

OP posts:
MenorcaMarguerite · 07/01/2024 16:12

Carol52 · 07/01/2024 15:51

No I did not because I became sick
thank you all for your messages.
it has made fell a whole lot worse about tomorrow.
vest of luck to you all

You can still turn this around. People are trying to help you see things from a different perspective. You have more information now which is a good thing.

Thank your workplace for their flexibility. Acknowledge it was a difficult situation for them.

It is a five week half term, offer to work all the Thursdays.

Explain what you have put in place to support your daughter in terms of future illness.

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 07/01/2024 16:25

You had 2 days off with your daughter and then needed 2 days yourself the following week. Did you let them know you were going to be off both days? Or just the first?

Read my previous post about the return to work meeting, that is literally all they will do. You have nothing to worry about.

MenorcaMarguerite · 07/01/2024 16:28

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 07/01/2024 16:25

You had 2 days off with your daughter and then needed 2 days yourself the following week. Did you let them know you were going to be off both days? Or just the first?

Read my previous post about the return to work meeting, that is literally all they will do. You have nothing to worry about.

I think it was:
Week 1 - 2 days off for daughter (T, W)
Week 2 - 3 days off for daughter (M, T, W)
Week 3 - 3 days off for self (but am not quite sure)

cutlery · 07/01/2024 16:46

Carol52 · 07/01/2024 15:51

No I did not because I became sick
thank you all for your messages.
it has made fell a whole lot worse about tomorrow.
vest of luck to you all

I think people are trying to be real with you. Sugarcoating it and saying it's fine when it isn't won't help you.

Neriah · 07/01/2024 16:57

cutlery · 07/01/2024 16:46

I think people are trying to be real with you. Sugarcoating it and saying it's fine when it isn't won't help you.

Show quote history

I agree. It is totally understandable that you are concerned for the welfare of your children when they are sick. We get that you don't have other help. But to be blunt, an employer doesn't care. They want you in work. They might show some initial lattitude if you are lucky, but that is at best. If you can't understand that then perhaps it would be better if you were not working until your children are self-sufficient. Getting a record for unreliability or dismissal will not help you in the longer term.

Aprilx · 07/01/2024 17:00

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 07/01/2024 16:25

You had 2 days off with your daughter and then needed 2 days yourself the following week. Did you let them know you were going to be off both days? Or just the first?

Read my previous post about the return to work meeting, that is literally all they will do. You have nothing to worry about.

Telling OP that she has nothing to worry about is not truly helping her even if it is what she prefers to read. She may well get away with nothing serious happening tomorrow, but I have no doubt whatsoever that she is being closely monitored. OP has not been in the workforce for a long time and I think it is more helpful to try to help OP understand that this absenteeism is an issue.

fullcirclearoundourstar · 07/01/2024 17:13

Spot on @Aprilx

By staying at home with a teenager she is showing how little she cares about her job. It’s not what she wants to hear though, but truth hurts, even if she is now trying to say that we make her feel worse.

cutlery · 07/01/2024 17:15

Aprilx · 07/01/2024 17:00

Telling OP that she has nothing to worry about is not truly helping her even if it is what she prefers to read. She may well get away with nothing serious happening tomorrow, but I have no doubt whatsoever that she is being closely monitored. OP has not been in the workforce for a long time and I think it is more helpful to try to help OP understand that this absenteeism is an issue.

Edited
Show quote history

Absolutely. No point in saying oh it will be ok everyone is off sick. Its an issue. By telling OP it's an issue it gives her a chance to prepare for that conversation.

Original poster
Carol52 · 07/01/2024 17:28

I thank you for your message.
anyone sick has to be off 48 after last sick stay off whilst symptoms persist.
.
The government website actually says children 12 or under are rarely mature enough to be left alone
am not in a lucky position to have family friends or neighbours to relay on or get help.
again best of luck to you all and thanks for call your views

OP posts:
fullcirclearoundourstar · 07/01/2024 17:35

Carol52 · 07/01/2024 17:28

I thank you for your message.
anyone sick has to be off 48 after last sick stay off whilst symptoms persist.
.
The government website actually says children 12 or under are rarely mature enough to be left alone
am not in a lucky position to have family friends or neighbours to relay on or get help.
again best of luck to you all and thanks for call your views

Yeah but you are saying you will not leave her by herself when she is 13 either.

afrikat · 07/01/2024 18:02

I remember getting a sick bug when I was 12 and being left home alone as my mum was a single parent and couldn't risk losing her job. I think you need to reconsider whether you really need to be staying with her at this age if you are keen to keep your job

Ariela · 07/01/2024 18:29

MsCactus · 06/01/2024 16:11

At 12 I think they can look after themselves if unwell

^ this

1smallhamsterfoot · 07/01/2024 18:39

I know you don’t want to hear it @Carol52 but people are trying to explain how your employer/line manager may view this so you can prepare yourself

Original poster
Carol52 · 07/01/2024 18:46

Oh

OP posts:
Neriah · 07/01/2024 18:52

Carol52 · 07/01/2024 17:28

I thank you for your message.
anyone sick has to be off 48 after last sick stay off whilst symptoms persist.
.
The government website actually says children 12 or under are rarely mature enough to be left alone
am not in a lucky position to have family friends or neighbours to relay on or get help.
again best of luck to you all and thanks for call your views

I don't know how to better express this as you don't seem to get what many people are telling you. Your employer does not give a fuck what some government website thinks. That is not law.

Put it this way. Whilst you are being sick, taking sick days for your child, for what amounts to about 1/3rd of your current employment, other people are expecting you to be in the school for the sake of THEIR children.

My employers are actually very laid back. You'd be on a final warning AT BEST. You only work 3 days a week. You only started in September. And you've had several days paid sick leave, and the best you can come up with is "tough, I'm entitled, my kids come first". You would be dismissed now by my very laid back employer! Anything less than that is a gift. And one that WILL NOT keep giving!

NYName · 07/01/2024 18:58

Hopefully all will be well when you go back and you will not need any further time off this term.

I think what people are trying to point out is you haven't been there long and your employer is now aware you have no-one to look after a sick child, this could put you in a bit of a precarious situation so you need to have some plan of action ready if you are asked what you will do in the future.

I work in NHS and get carers leave. I will always be able to leave to pick up a sick child or have a day off with a child who starts vomiting during the night, but I will be expected to have made arrangements after the first day as it's for emergency care.

Good luck

cutlery · 07/01/2024 19:00

Carol52 · 07/01/2024 17:28

I thank you for your message.
anyone sick has to be off 48 after last sick stay off whilst symptoms persist.
.
The government website actually says children 12 or under are rarely mature enough to be left alone
am not in a lucky position to have family friends or neighbours to relay on or get help.
again best of luck to you all and thanks for call your views

Yes and it sucks but employers don't have to help you enforce that. If you're off for 48 hours then that's 2 days on your absence record. That's all they care about.

Crazycrazylady · 07/01/2024 19:04

Honestly op. If you're unwilling to leave your 12/13 year old when they are unwell I think maybe put off working for a couple of years till you are . No employer will put up with you taking each of your sick days off as well as your own.
I'd just leave it a couple of years till you are comfortable

Your sickness rate will have triggered a work meeting when you go back. Maybe offer to take all your child's sickness as unpaid leave. It might help them not manage you out which is realistically where you are heading .

Original poster
Carol52 · 07/01/2024 20:59

Thank you for your reply.

OP posts:
stomachameleon · 07/01/2024 21:29

@Crazycrazylady how does someone 'put off working' if they are a single parent? It's not really allowed by universal credit to just give up!

Original poster
Carol52 · 08/01/2024 17:33

Thank you for all your opinions

OP posts:
Original poster
Carol52 · 08/01/2024 17:54

Thank you for all you kind messages

OP posts:
stomachameleon · 08/01/2024 18:01

Did you go in today?

Original poster
Carol52 · 08/01/2024 18:10

Yes I did

OP posts:
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