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Original poster

Work/sick/

110 replies

Carol52 · 17/12/2023 20:30

Hi advice please
I work Monday Tuesday Wednesday
My daughter was sick a week last Tuesday. I had 2 days off work.
My Dd went back to school on the Friday.
She was sick again on the Sunday and was really poorly again so I was not at work last week.
Now I have the bug but I just don't know what work will say I work at a school and only started there in September.
I am worried but what can I do . Any advice or should I not be worried .

OP posts:
FacingTheWall · 06/01/2024 16:27

I assumed this was a young child. Most people would leave their 12 year old in bed and check in with them on the phone every couple of hours.

PPTorPDF · 06/01/2024 16:33

Carol52 · 06/01/2024 15:54

Hi thanks for your message I am up at 5.45am I get home normally around 4.30
thats pretty long days

It's really not.

newyearnewnothing · 06/01/2024 16:37

Most people would leave a 12 year old but check on them regularly.
And your days are really not that long

fullcirclearoundourstar · 06/01/2024 16:55

I’m sorry but your days are not that long, and you can absolutely leave a normal 12-year old at home and just check on them.

Original poster
Carol52 · 06/01/2024 18:02

As a mum I would not leave my 13 daughter being sick at home

OP posts:
FacingTheWall · 06/01/2024 18:10

Carol52 · 06/01/2024 18:02

As a mum I would not leave my 13 daughter being sick at home

Well that’s the choice you make, but the consequences might be that it’s not compatible with working. Your employer is entitled to their view that taking days off to look after a mildly ill 13yo is taking the piss.

MenorcaMarguerite · 06/01/2024 18:17

I think, rightly or wrongly, that most people would leave a child of that age home alone if they were keen to hold on to a new job.

(unless the child had particular SEN needs or extreme health concerns, which is obviously different)

MenorcaMarguerite · 06/01/2024 18:19

Did you offer to work any Thursdays or Fridays after your absences? I know most schools were really struggling with staff absence before Christmas and would have likely been very grateful!

cutlery · 06/01/2024 18:19

Is she 12 or 13?

Anyway.. unless she was really really ill or there are special needs then I'd leave her home alone

NYName · 06/01/2024 18:35

My mum worked full time and left me home alone at that age if I was ill (if I was very ill, my GM would come then)
She rang me every hour and came home at lunchtime. I was absolutely fine and just spent the time watch 80s daytime TV!

Original poster
Carol52 · 06/01/2024 20:51

Thanks again for your nesssages
as I said before I could not leave a child who was constantly sick and have no one

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 06/01/2024 22:08

If I couldn’t work from home (I can) and my daughter was 12-13 then yes I would go in, especially that 2nd week and by the Wednesday of that wk it has been 8 days since she was first sick. Then you’re sick yourself the week after. Well I would be worried too as it’s not like it’s a 5yr old who can’t be left home alone. Unless your daughter was very unwell and couldn’t be left I think you’re work are going to be a bit peeved about it, given the length of time you took off and her age.

changename270 · 07/01/2024 06:17

Don't you have a friend or neighbour to help? If you were a carer don't you have any carer friends that could pop in to help?

MrsPatrickDempsey · 07/01/2024 06:44

Your employer will have an absence management policy that they should follow. It will specify their expectations about attendance.

IfTheresTeaTheresHope · 07/01/2024 07:29

If it was contagious then I wouldn’t go in but if not then I’d power through with it and go to work if I had your attendance.

MenorcaMarguerite · 07/01/2024 07:40

You haven't answered whether you offered to make up the time on the Thursdays/ Fridays your daughter was in. Employers can't require you to do this but especially in a new job the offer would have shown flexibility and understanding on your part.

And was she really as needy of you the second Wednesday (Day 9) as the first day?

We all understand it is nicer if you can be home but once we're being paid to be elsewhere then other factors come into play. You can see from this thread that most people do not think your choice was reasonable. Whether you agree or not, you need to bear that in mind in any conversation with your employer.

What is your role? Did children miss out if you were away? Did the school have to pay for cover? Were there any elements you could do at home? (Or training/ reading)?.Did you do them?

For example, when I was a TA and had to be home with a six year old child with chicken pox (shared time off four ways - me, my husband, my sister, paid babysitter), I prepared all the materials for my upcoming interventions. As you were paid for the five days with your child, did you do anything to help your employer in that time?

chopc · 07/01/2024 13:20

Unfortunately @Carol52 , not many people have the luxury to choose to be at home with their sick children......

However, can completely understand if she was vomiting several times a day. I don't think i would want to leave my child alone under those circumstances.......

Being a lone parent - there is no option but to make connections with people and build up a support network. Either that or find a way of becoming rich so you can buy help when you need

Doggymummar · 07/01/2024 13:26

Sounds like you are not bothered about the job to be honest. A child of 12 or 13 is fine at home by themselves if they are sick. At my work we would be letting you go tomorrow.

fullcirclearoundourstar · 07/01/2024 13:31

Carol52 · 06/01/2024 20:51

Thanks again for your nesssages
as I said before I could not leave a child who was constantly sick and have no one

A soon to be teenager you mean? Yabu. Finding excuses to stay at home.

changename270 · 07/01/2024 13:33

If they are throwing up you can't leave them it's cruel. Bit usually the throwing up lasts just a day and they sleep.

Original poster
Carol52 · 07/01/2024 13:37

Thanks. I hope not

OP posts:
Original poster
Carol52 · 07/01/2024 13:38

She was poorly for 2 days went back to school and then sick again because she had stomach problems when she was younger the doctor made a appointment and said hopefully I would see her feel better within a week.

OP posts:
Gazelda · 07/01/2024 13:50

I think you should try to work out a plan for next time your DD is poorly.

Agree with her whether or not she'd be comfortable staying at home while you were t out to work. Make sure you can contact her at all times. Agree that you'll leave a sandwich, Wi-Fi, drinks, tv remote control etc and how she can contact you if she needs you urgently.

Or you offer your employer that you'll make up hours if they can accommodate that.

Try to be flexible and show a work ethic. That will buy you lots of compassion and understanding. If you continue with your current absence record and unwillingness to show flexibility, I think your employer will soon run out of understanding.

I hope you and your DD are now back to good health and well rested after the Christmas break,

Aprilx · 07/01/2024 14:11

Carol52 · 07/01/2024 13:38

She was poorly for 2 days went back to school and then sick again because she had stomach problems when she was younger the doctor made a appointment and said hopefully I would see her feel better within a week.

Yes we know you have already said she was ill. The point is that you need to find a way to deal with it without taking leave because you are going to lose your job if you carry on as you are.

You have not answered the question that somebody asked about whether you offered to work on the Thursday or Friday. I was also wondering this, it would help create goodwill between you and your employer and you definitely need it.

stomachameleon · 07/01/2024 14:14

@Carol52 is she your youngest? I imagine UC wise it wouldn't go down well if you lost your job? And I say that as someone in the same position.