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My friend who also WFH wants us to work alongside one another

164 replies

Lorelai007 · 17/11/2023 14:03

I recently made a new friend with another mum who, like me, also works from home while she sends her DD to nursery. We've socialised a couple times, and I enjoy her company, but she's just asked me if I would be interested in working alongside one another on weekdays to create more of an office environment. I'm really not too keen on this idea, since I like coming back to my own home after dropping DS off at nursery, then I clean and do laundry while listening to a podcast, relax with a coffee on my balcony, then I stick my headphones on and do some work in between cooking and other household chores. Sometimes if I'm really tired I have an afternoon nap, or even a small glass of wine while reading my book before it's time to go and collect DS. I'm a bit of an introvert and during the week I like to be in my own space without interruption, it's how I recharge after spending all evening and morning and the weekend taking care of my active 3 year old son. I told my husband my reasons for not wanting to hang out with my friend on weekdays, and preferring to stay home alone, and he just laughed and jokingly said how I hate other people. This isn't true, I just can't function being in someone else's company for an entire day and then having to entertain my DS. I don't want to jeopardise my friendship, but I have no idea how to politely decline her suggestion. Also, we have completely different jobs and I need two monitors to work, plus my office is too small to accommodate the both of us.

OP posts:
moomoomoo27 · 17/11/2023 16:47

It sounds like you do about an hour of office work a day, so she'd probably be expecting to work alongside someone actually doing a solid 4 hours if not more. So it would likely be annoying for her as well as you. Maybe she wants to look into coworking spaces locally, or even just go to a library.

And yeah drinking every day, especially before driving and looking after kids, sounds like a problem. Blaming your son for it/using him as an excuse because you have to look after him mornings, evenings and weekends isn't healthy. That combined with the daytime napping and avoiding people may be a sign of depression or that you aren't really happy.

AppropriateAdult · 17/11/2023 16:49

"Thanks for asking, but I've found my current WFH set-up really suits me and I'm not keen to change any of it." This has the advantage of being true.

Kangaboo · 17/11/2023 16:49

PinkRoses1245 · 17/11/2023 14:06

And I want your 'job'! i'd be a bit concerned by mid afternoon solo drinking though.

Yes, what on earth is this job that pays you to sleep and drink & read books??!

Notoriety · 17/11/2023 16:50

Presumably your home insurance covers you WFH but wouldn’t cover anyone else?

Riverlee · 17/11/2023 16:51

I want your job!

Do you think she wants to work at yours to save on heating costs etc? It does seem an odd request, especially for a new friend. I wouldn’t want to wfh with someone else either.

Just say that wouldn’t work for you.

blueshoes · 17/11/2023 16:52

Just say you prefer to doss around WFH in your own time and space. She will understand.

pinkyredrose · 17/11/2023 16:53

What's your job?

Bearpawk · 17/11/2023 16:54

You're massively overthinking this. Just say no.
Are you 'working' full time though op?

Psychoticbreak · 17/11/2023 16:54

I cannot think of anything worse than what she is proposing. Say no.

QPWO · 17/11/2023 16:55

It’s weird that people think the request is weird! I have a friend come to mine two days a week for us to wfh together and we’re more productive than when working solo, as well as having a nice social lunch break. But yeah there’s no drama in saying ‘no thanks, let’s have lunch sometime’..

notmorezoom · 17/11/2023 16:56

Lorelai007 · 17/11/2023 14:08

Am I the only one who has the occasional afternoon tipple? I don't get drunk, or even tipsy. I just like to have a glass while reading my book....

I'd see that as a red flag for alcohol dependency

TeaAndCock · 17/11/2023 16:57

What employer would actually be happy paying staff to read books, do chores, sleep and drink wine 😂

Spirallingdownwards · 17/11/2023 17:00

Do you work for South Cambridge District Council? Sounds like their idea of working.

ComeOnThenFanny · 17/11/2023 17:00

ffsnotagainandagain · 17/11/2023 16:35

People are so bitter. I too have a WFH job that I can manage to do all my work and all of my housework. Long dog walks, and chill out. Some employers are happy as long as the work is done.

I'm not bitter at all, I love my job. I just get pissed off that wfh gets such a bad reputation because some people have enough time to do all that other stuff, and it makes a lot of employers think that wfh is unproductive.

WingeandCringe · 17/11/2023 17:01

Just say no! My friend asked me to join her at something the other day and said “no thank you I don’t want to do that”. It’s perfectly acceptable to give a direct answer.

gooseberryganache · 17/11/2023 17:02

Spirallingdownwards · 17/11/2023 17:00

Do you work for South Cambridge District Council? Sounds like their idea of working.

Haha yeah a lot like our LA too!

Zonder · 17/11/2023 17:02

I couldn't do it because I have online meetings. I wouldn't want someone else to hear them.

Firebug007 · 17/11/2023 17:02

Sorry missing the point but I think it's people like you who made my company revoke everyone's right to WFH so we all had to trudge back to the office so I'm sure this issue won't be around for ever.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 17/11/2023 17:02

Oh god how hard is it for people to accept that there are different jobs and different employers and not everybody requires you to be super stressed out and tied to your laptop from 8-6 to be successful.
We're such slaves to the machine. If OP is getting her work done to the standard that is asked for, why shouldn't she enjoy her extra time?

Freixene · 17/11/2023 17:03

The faux outrage and pearl clutching on this thread is hilarious. I can’t believe that people can’t think outside of their little world that some people’s jobs might be more flexible than theirs, and task oriented rather than being available constantly.

WeeSleekitCowrinTimrousBeastie · 17/11/2023 17:06

If I wanted to work alongside co-workers I'd go into the office. The thought of a friend sharing my workspace/dining room is weird.

The drinking solo during the day is not a good thing.

WeeSleekitCowrinTimrousBeastie · 17/11/2023 17:10

Freixene · 17/11/2023 17:03

The faux outrage and pearl clutching on this thread is hilarious. I can’t believe that people can’t think outside of their little world that some people’s jobs might be more flexible than theirs, and task oriented rather than being available constantly.

Totally agree.

All workplaces are different.

If OP is delivering what her employer wants then that's all the matters. MN can be very shrill sometimes.

IncompleteSenten · 17/11/2023 17:11

You said your boss doesn't care how you manage your time as long as you get your allocated work done. I'm not sure why posters are having a go when your employer only cares that they get the work done that they are paying you to do.

It doesn't matter if you spend much of your day masturbating and watching telly as long as you are getting the work done that your boss wants.

Tell her thanks but no thanks. You work from home because you don't want an office environment so creating one would defeat the purpose of WFH for you.

Suggest she try those rent a desk places.

FarEast · 17/11/2023 17:14

Doesn’t sound like your employer gets value for her money. You don’t seem to be doing more than 2-3 hours of work each day.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 17/11/2023 17:18

To be honest some people's 3 hours of top quality work is much better VFM than many people's 8 hours of inefficiency, time wasting, incompetence, gossiping, prevaricating, procrastinating, stressing, mistake-making, fag breaks and counter-productivity.