My friend who also WFH wants us to work alongside one another

[Lorelai007]

I recently made a new friend with another mum who, like me, also works from home while she sends her DD to nursery. We've socialised a couple times, and I enjoy her company, but she's just asked me if I would be interested in working alongside one another on weekdays to create more of an office environment. I'm really not too keen on this idea, since I like coming back to my own home after dropping DS off at nursery, then I clean and do laundry while listening to a podcast, relax with a coffee on my balcony, then I stick my headphones on and do some work in between cooking and other household chores. Sometimes if I'm really tired I have an afternoon nap, or even a small glass of wine while reading my book before it's time to go and collect DS. I'm a bit of an introvert and during the week I like to be in my own space without interruption, it's how I recharge after spending all evening and morning and the weekend taking care of my active 3 year old son. I told my husband my reasons for not wanting to hang out with my friend on weekdays, and preferring to stay home alone, and he just laughed and jokingly said how I hate other people. This isn't true, I just can't function being in someone else's company for an entire day and then having to entertain my DS. I don't want to jeopardise my friendship, but I have no idea how to politely decline her suggestion. Also, we have completely different jobs and I need two monitors to work, plus my office is too small to accommodate the both of us.

I've worked with a friend of mine wfh as we were going away straight from work. It was quite nice.

You could say due to dealing with confidential info, you would be allowed?

Oh for heaven's sake, she's not smashing back a bottle of vodka, it's a small glass of wine.

I'd hate this! I'm like you when I WFH (except I'd not have a glass of wine, I'd end up wanting the rest of the bottle and writing the day off if I did that) 😂What do you do OP? I want to apply!

But no, just say sorry it wouldn't work for you, you'd not be efficient working alongside anyone else. Or if you can't bring yourself to do that, say your work involves confidential information so your company wouldn't allow it.

I WFH and love wine, but I don't have afternoon naps or an afternoon glass of wine!
Just say no, but could you meet up for a walk once or twice a week?

When do you actually work?

Wow, I thought my job was laid back. No wonder you don't want anyone else around. Mine could be done perfectly well with others around and no GDPR issues as I don't work with personal or confidential data so I don't think that's necessarily an issue. If you can't make that excuse just tell her it wouldn't work for you without specifying. And no, I don't think it's normal to have a tipple on a work afternoon. Or any weekday afternoon really.

Chores, podcasts, reading, laundry, cooking, naps and wine drinking? I’m amazed you have any time to do your job.

I wonder what your employer would say about the doing chores, drinking during work time, school pick ups. If they are ok with all that it’s fine but if not you shouldn’t be doing it.

In relation to the working together, just say no.

Had it occurred to you that the afternoon glass of wine might be the reason you need afternoon naps?
Other than that, just tell her the way you work doesn't lend itself to sharing workspace. (Never a truer word!)

No wonder you don't want to work alongside anyone, you seem to do very little work and your friend would see this.

Some judgey folk on this thread as per .......

This feels like what the government thinks we all do when WFH!

There's a man at my hobby group I'd like to suggest this to. But that's because I want to have sex with him : )

Just say that you need your office set up as it is at home and you don't have space to accommodate her! It's a weird request. WFH time isn't social time.

I don't, but it sounds bloody amazing as an occasional thing! But everyday I'd be concerned. Anyway, the point is that working alone from home suits you, finding a work routine that works for you is too essential to give up on just because she needs company!

And yeah, your description of your 'working' day is, I am convinced, exactly why so many people are firm fans of homeworking.

I totally sympathise. I too need lots of time on my own, and also do lots of chores whilst WFH. I still get far more work done than people who are at the office and spend lots of time networking/ having coffees with people/ faffing about.

i had a friend who was like this, was always suggesting we met up for a run, or do to do or z. As I have got older I have learned to shut these suggestions down straight away. This is a major achievement as I am such a people pleaser. The fact is, they make a suggestion that suits them (fair enough) but doesn’t suit you ( also fair enough).

The best way forward is not loads of reasons why you can’t, but a simple statement, followed by a pivot away and onto something you do want. (‘ oh that doesn’t work for me. What does work for me is our fun evening catch ups after work, when shall we have the next one?’)

Good grief no. My former employer wouldn’t allow it anyway, you can’t even let family members in the room when you’re working, data protection.

Its not a weird request. Its exactly why those places you can book an office desk at exist.

Not everyone likes the isolation of home working.
If OP was also like this, the arrangement would suit them both. She's not, so it doesn't.

Why all the criticism that OP can get all her work done and have some time to do other stuff.

The suggestion of working together is batshit.

Ok well it's a weird request unless you know for sure that the other person would welcome company! Most people just want to get on with their work in peace.

This is hilarious, the daily Mail will love it. They’re furious that no one wants to be in their tory mates office blocks, they froth with rage at WFH.
‘Mum boozes, naps and does laundry while ‘WFH’’

Well, not really. Surely you get to know people by asking ' would you like to..' and they say yes or no.

Its ok to ask the question. Its ok to say, ' not that's not my thing, but thanks for asking.'

Ok well it's a weird request unless you know for sure that the other person would welcome company!

And how do you find out, unless you ask them?

YANBU!

I think a lot of people think they’d like to WFH (and of course you get a lot more household chores done) but the reality is very different.

It sounds like this woman needs to find an in person job or hybrid job as she’s missing the social dynamic of it.

I could not WFH FT.
My home is my home, not my work place (one of the reasons I gave up being a teacher).
And I do love the social dynamic of it and getting to know people who you’d never usually meet.

Tell her no.
If she wants the social side then she needs to go in the office.