Working and perimenopause - has anyone else not been able to cope?

[Frenchroots]

I am on HRT but still find the anxiety that work gives me means I can’t sleep and then a vicious cycle of exhaustion and anxiety makes work even harder. Has anyone else had to ditch their long-worked for career to do something low stress (with inevitably low pay)?

I'm in the same position, following with interest! I'm in a really good, well paid job, but struggle with anxiety (which is totally new to me, never suffered with it before) and insomnia.

Damned if I'm taking a lower paid job, though - I worked so hard to get this far, I'm determined to find a solution, medical or holistic.

Following with interest. I remember seeing this statistic which seems preposterously high: 1 in 10 women leave work due to menopause

It’s sad isn’t it? I’m not sure I even have the drive or care enough any more so really crave a change to something low stress. But then I may well transfer the stress to having no money! So hard.

I'm not coping. The anxiety is crippling. I'm not in a particularly stressful job and low paid but I'm making mistakes and my memory is an embarrassment!

@allabitmadtbf have you tried HRT? It did help me with more physical symptoms but mentally and with sleep it hasn’t really.

I am menopausal and really struggling with work. I have been in my job for 10 years so feel like I have proved myself and can have a few bad days (or years!).
in a new job where nobody knows you might be harder Because you won’t have that good will.

Yes, absolutely

I was anxious, had crippling insomnia, racing thoughts, high blood pressure and, in hindsight, was just scraping through the days with no joy at all

Sertraline was the solution for me

Yes. I feel like I'm going downhill at work in a career I've worked really hard in. Insomnia, anxiety, imposter syndrome and a general feeling that everyone younger is just 'taking over' me. I'm struggling to focus and plan in a job that requires me to do just that.

Don't assume that low paid jobs are low stress. I took a big pay cut to do a "nice" little job in a school office. I didn't do this because of perimenopause symptoms although they had just started in hindsight. I did it because an inheritance allowed us to pay off our mortgage and have more choices about the type of employment we took. Well, yes, the job is nice as there are cute small children and my colleagues are fab. But I'm working longer hours, still don't get proper breaks and in some ways I have MORE to worry about now that I did before (safeguarding stuff etc, there's so much to remember about individual children and families)

And now perimenopause has arrived properly the anxiety has kicked in big time. I have trouble dropping off as I feel tense. Or I wake up an hour later in a worried state, often with night terrors (I've injured myself thrashing about!). I make notes on my iphone in my sleep about work tasks that make no sense when I see them next day. etc etc. It's quite bad. I'm waiting to see if I can have HRT (family history of breast cancer) but in the mean time i've been referred to the Sleep Station. I've just registered so will see how it goes. I'm not sure that it will help because it's not like it's going to do anything for my hormones or work stress, is it?!

I do feel for those going through perimenopause who have a "big" job. I've seen it in colleagues and it really affects their health even more, the combination of the stress levels of the job combined with their upset of their hormones.

ah yeah, this is exactly how I feel. That I'm scraping through the day (trying to cover up the fact that my memory's gone to shit some days), until I can get home and just kind of retreat into myself on the sofa watching shit on the telly. I just don't want to get up again off my arse as having anything else demanded of me just feels too much (and that includes even making anything complicated for tea, or doing a food shop). I just want to try to decompress after getting through the day and usually don't even want to talk to anyone for an hour or so at least.

@AnyFucker someone else has mentioned Sertraline to me - any side effects? How long did it take to help?

This is me.
I'm currently off work sick after surgery and have told my husband I'm not going back to my existing role.
I've worked professionally for 16 years and can't face the stress of working like that again.
I only worked three days a week but can't keep up with my 20 something fast paced colleagues.

Younger colleagues have laughed at me when I've not been able to remember stuff, not in a horrible way, but it does make me think "just you wait".

A senior colleague and I commiserated recently over how shit our memories were, how badly we were sleeping etc. She's a director whereas I'm a lowly minion but perimenopause doesn't discriminate.

I will say that it was at its worst at the start of the year when I was also under a huge amount of stress from work and a house move, and hadn't yet started HRT. Now work has calmed down a bit and the HRT has kicked in I am feeling much better, but I can tell which bit of my cycle I'm in by how shit my memory is. Had two periods last month. Sleep like a log some nights; others I like awake with my mind racing about things that seem minor the next day.

I have an interview next week and I'm just hoping that it's on one of my 'good' memory days otherwise I'll be sat there staring at the interviewers, willing my brain to kick into action. I'll be taking notes in with me!

Yes,I went through this,left a well paid job for one with less money.I regretted that decision by 10am on day 1 of new job..at the time I did not realise it was due to menopause,,I knew I was peri menopausal but taught I was just not happy with the job..in time I realised all my symptoms were due to peri menopausal feelings…a few months later I got another role in my line of work that suited me better…I still find work tough.anxiety and a whole load of other symptoms…but I earn what I became accustomed to and I am glad I went back to a role that suited me…it’s not easy,if I had enough money I defiantly would of left work years ago..

@Frenchroots I started on 50mg Sertraline and had no side effects. Felt a little better after about 6 weeks so went up to 100mg.

I sleep much better, the racing thoughts and pointless rumination have stopped, I feel calmer, my BP is down, I seem to be able to skim over the surface of stress that before would have me in pieces

The downside was that at 100mg I had daily diarrhoea which is eventually starting to settle after about 2 months. It’s a well known issue apparently but I thought persevering was a price I was willing to pay to feel better. I should have done it years ago, tbh.

I left my job due to anxiety and a not very understanding female boss - working for her was the worst experience of my life and I was about to be performance managed out of there.

HRT didn’t help with the anxiety or brain fog or memory loss, but Prozac definitely did. In some ways it was like pressing a reset button - it gave me the mental stability to get my ducks in a row and get out of there, to a similar job, on a similar salary, but with a much better pension, flexible working and a final salary pension.

I keep hearing about magnesium. Have started taking it (I think I’m a bit peri- super anxious- sleep gone to pot) and the sleep seems much better and the anxiety reduces (although that might be because the sleeps better who knows). Could be a conincidence but think I’ll keep going with it x

Watching with interest as I've struggled with perimenopause for the past few years. I have gone through various employment changes and it really has impacted me. I'm late 40's and would love to stop work in some respects.

My job is probably a "big job" and my peri anxiety had me waking with huge anxiety about 4am, every night. Full of doom, dread, the type of anxiety I'd only feel if I had to present to leadership or something (and I don't even feel like that with them anymore). I'd wrack my brain, what am I worried about? What is it? What am I ignoring? Nothing. Id learned a technique for stress to mentally face it - acknowledge it send it picking and it works (when something IS ACTUALLY STRESSING ME). But nothing was the cause. Just anxiety. It was killing me.

Lately I'm forgetting the names of people - not forgetting them - just their names - it's crazy - I will know it's a short name, have blunt sounds etc, (happened last night on a team call!) and I have to mentally pedal hard to trigger the recall while looking like I am keeping up. Menopause - you just couldn't make it up.

I really don't want to step down as I feel I owe it now to make some money and get it put aside for my kids, this is my chance now to earn. Its a thought I often have though, imagine not having to put myself through this...

I recommend a b vitamin complex, this has made a huge difference to my energy levels and ability to function.

I’m not really an anxious person. I take HRT and that has helped enormously.
However, I am when I’m working in my senior role.
I think it’s because I’m not as fast and my working memory isn’t what it used to be so I’m forever falling behind and making mistakes.
sigh.

I second magnesium, but also I find ashwagandha supplements tremendously helpful. I noticed increased anxiety and lack of sleep if I don't take these for a few days, so have come to rely on these to help over the past couple of years.

I was like this. Menopause hit me like a ton of bricks, and with it crippling anxiety etc - I really thought I wasn’t going to be able to do my job (I’m senior and also divorced - I need my job to pay the bills, I also love it and worked hard for it!) It was a very scary time. I went on Sertraline, then a year or so later (Covid delay to see specialist) went on HRT. I also take magnesium and extra vitamins. I do think Sertraline really helps - if your gp thinks it might help it’s worth trying (the initial side effects were a bit brutal, but they do calm down). Good luck. Why should women take lower paid jobs they have worked hard for if they don’t want to!

I started daily gym sessions 4 months ago to cope with the anxiety- it has been transformative

Memory wise, I write everything everything down, even if I have to ask ppl to stop speaking while I do so.

Its hard. But the exercise also help with memory and sleep. Do not love the 6am starts for gym though

I am currently off work due to anxiety. I think the main cause is bring peri menopausal.

I too felt like I was completely ineffective at work and that caused issues with a member of staff who instead of supporting me started to make notes and have 'meetings' about my 'failings'.

On top of that I was having issues at home as well. (The joys of teenagers)

So I am on sertraline, propranolol and HRT. I think my oestrogen levels are still too low,

I am hoping that when I go back(and they have moved the unsupportive member of staff) I will be able to cope.

It is so frustrating feeling so 'wrong'