Working and perimenopause - has anyone else not been able to cope?

[Frenchroots]

I am on HRT but still find the anxiety that work gives me means I can’t sleep and then a vicious cycle of exhaustion and anxiety makes work even harder. Has anyone else had to ditch their long-worked for career to do something low stress (with inevitably low pay)?

How old were you when the peri menopause symptoms started?

The insomnia is killing me. I know lifestyle changes, like exercising more regularly and being more organised with things like meal planning and housework would help my overall wellbeing but it’s all I can do to get through work FT.

I generally fall asleep OK but the 4am lying awake with anxiety can do one. Why does everything seem so much worse at 4am?

Not minimising it (or finding it ever easy), but I have made myself a rule not to give any weight to a single sorry thing my brain tries to tell me if it tries this between the hours of midnight and 7am. So far this hasn't had any exceptions that could be regretted.

I could have written this post myself @Frenchroots and in fact, I am in the middle of changing jobs to something hopefully less stressful, more fulfilling and on roughly the same pay. I seem to have anxiety that has come with perimenopause & I've not had it before. I'm also a lot less tolerant than I used to be, hence the job change.

Re: poor sleep, this is really brutal when trying to work. Getting the correct dose of Progesterone has helped - i needed an increased dose. I've found a Magnesium supplement to be really helpful. I also drift off to a podcast called Nothing Much Happens- it really helps! It's free on Spotify.

I did weep with rage in a meeting with my boss, at the unfairness of having just secured my dream job as perimenopause kicked in.

He referred me to some sort of coaching, bless him! Was useless though, I still feel outraged at what women have to put up with.

I have nodded all the way through this thread. I feel dreadful at the moment-stuck in a high workload, high accountability, highly micromanaged job with low status but one which everyone always assumes is basically part time, really family friendly with a gold-plated pension. Decades till retirement but unsure I’ll even be still alive by then. Increasing doses of HRT seems to do little so I don’t know if it’s menopause or just work-related stress.

Can anyone link to any Magnesium or B complex supplements?

I think you are working in the same field as me so I can relate!

The HRT dealt with the majority of my anxiety.

Obviously the Dr will offer you pharmaceuticals for the anxiety, but if you were open to it, you could join the growing number of patients trying Clinics like Curaleaf for an alternative which I suspect could greatly help you. (No need to get high!)

I gave up my permanent job in July. Just couldn’t do it anymore. Sobbing in the shower every morning and again in the way home , not sleeping , dreading going in is just no good. Absolutely crippled by anxiety even though I’m on hrt.

Hoping to temp from now on and take the pressure away . But I’m lucky I’ve been able to as my DH is a high earner and it was him who gave me the push I needed to walk away.

Apparently the 4am thing is linked with hormone levels. Stuff that worries me at 4am isn’t as bad at 7am but still keep me awake and messes with my day.

@JT69 yes that’s right, I remember reading about it recently but can’t remember where (of course 😁 )

I know so many colleagues of a similar age, and a similar level of despair-all wanting out!

I second the request for recommendations for B bit complex and magnesium please.

I was taking Holland and Barratt's own make, which seemed to help a bit, but would be happy to spend more for better results.

Have GP apt next week. On Sertraline and HRT and anxiety still off the scale. Exercise, eat well etc which do help.

Seconding a previous posters comment about nodding continuously while reading this thread. My job is high stress (NHS management) and I’ve recently taken on additional statutory responsibilities, which should be more stressful! But weirdly it’s helped as in doing so I’ve been given a deputy and additional staff, freeing me up from operational stuff and able to concentrate more on strategic work. It was dealing with staff that was causing me the most anxiety so being able to hand that over has been a huge relief. I’ve had a couple of three week episodes of sickness due to stress and anxiety over the last year and thought I would never get through it at the time.

I turned 50 earlier this year and am currently going through a pretty bitter divorce after a 30 year relationship. I have horrendous brain fog most of the time, and also do the waking up at 4am with crippling anxiety and night sweats. I’ve been on HRT for two years and have finally found the combination that seems to work for me. I’ve also started Sertraline and am just upping my dose to 100mg a day - I can feel myself slowly giving less of a fuck about things I would have been crippled by a few months ago. Now reading this thread with interest and thinking about trying Vitamin B and magnesium to see if my sleep improves. Thanks all for sharing your stories!

Hi try the one that is in the picture below from Amazon. This is magnesium L threonate which is supposed to be the best compound for allowing the magnesium to cross the brain stem. I started taking one a day and had to stop taking it at night because it made my dreams too vivid. I take it first thing in the morning and it’s fantastic for my concentration . From someone who has had brain fog for six years I can really recommend it

I really struggle. I’d like to at least go part time, but I can’t.

Nodding along here too. An ashwagandha supplement made a huge difference to my anxiety levels. My workload hasn't changed, and I still look at my to-do list and think 'Shit - how am I going to fit all of that in?!', but it doesn't provoke and anxiety response any more. I'm somehow able to just go 'Oh well. I'll do what I can!'

Is ashwagandha a safe supplement? I’ve never heard of it

Same here guys. I'm 44 and just been told I'm menopausal, getting some HRT soon. It's mad. I've always been so good with memory, keeping on top of work and now I can't remember anything if I don't write it down and stick it on my wall. I forget words, I get overwhelmed with tiredness and I have zero patience. I snapped hard at my twat of a boss this week, I have no time for niceties any more and my anxiety is off the scale. Been in my job 14 years and I think now is the time to leave. Have no idea what the hell to do next to be honest. But I know I'm miserable, I just want a year off to get myself in check.

Thanks AuntieJoyce - will give it a go.

Feeling your pain & just come across this book on the subject which might help others on this thread - https://www.amazon.co.uk/XX-Brain-Groundbreaking-Empowering-Dementia/dp/1911630318/ref=mpssa111?crid=2CFLJSY5MSAW6&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.UepOhv6OFnTFctmm5fRVMRl5Ghy-6vN7ixOJWBfNHjqv4bM-MrRJdN90xMGVMMNWPEMwg427ynMWJ9gzf-3pU2uzyykzYU9S4zCOOVYaqpqoRagJ0nNy-qTVbDcALZRIG3cOUcHFjMoZNVpiFghlsTWVYlci18hRHih7Z7gCsTM0TMAnQmYq5OiAkN5JxWN-qpwKjmoobQCDMGdXJxg.iuNXcX1n9I7Y5NdTK2T2dtRS5x3DRe4agDluZddtHw&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+xx+brain+lisa+mosconi&qid=1725538577&sprefix=the+xx+brain%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-1

"The XX Brain presents groundbreaking research showing that women's brains age distinctly from men's, due mostly to the decline of a key brain-protective hormone: estrogen.

Taking on all aspects of women's health, including brain fog, memory lapses, depression, stress, insomnia, hormonal imbalances and the increased risk of dementia, Dr. Mosconi introduces cutting-edge, evidence-based methods for protecting the female brain, encompassing diet, stress reduction and sleep. She also examines the effectiveness of hormonal replacement therapy, addresses the perils of environmental toxins and explores the role of our microbiome."

That resonates with me today. Every day this week as I've been driving to work and it's as if there is an internal voice just repeating over and over "I can't do this! I can't do this!". My workload is horrendous and the not being able to get through it, and feeling of letting people down and doing a bad job is horrendous. But I know that at other times when my hormones are not overriding everything that internal voice would should down the anxiety with "no, you can't get through everything, but you've done what you can in the time you have, and what more can anyone expect?" and that was that.

I take Magnesium Glycinate 3 in 1 supplement from Nutrition Geeks. I also take Ashwagandha from the same company & I take that to reduce anxiety.

What I need is an off switch, the ability to just turn off all work related stresses and worries would make a big difference to my sleep. DH seems to find this easy and cannot understand why I worry and care about it all so much.