How to stay calm at work? Bullying and extreme anxiety

[Sendhelp101]

Hello,

I have to be really careful here as explaining too much could be really outing. For the last year I have been being subtly bullied (not infront of people so no evidence/witnesses but very 1 to 1). I have been keeping notes of everything. Alot of it relates to problems I experience due to my health. We are a very small team and person in question is 'part of the furniture', extremely close with everyone there and managers. I know I won't be believed and if I complain I will just be tainting my name as its a small place in a small town where I live and my children go to school.

This has been causing me extreme anxiety where at one point I was borderline suicidal. I'm a nervous wreck as everything I do and any minor mistake is picked up on and I'm either shouted at or reported to higher up. Its effecting every part of my life.

I know I need to get out and I'm actively looking however I need to be careful as this job works very well around school hours and I'm a single parent with 2 kids and no outside help at all so it's hard to find something that suits (I can afford wrap around holiday care for 2-3 days max but its not a very high paying job).

Please can anyone give me advice on how to survive this time between working and looking for somewhere new? Going off sick would be a last resort. I'm an anxious person anyway and I just need tips on how to not feel tearful/shakey etc and not have it spill over into my personal life too.

Thank you to anyone who has read this far!

Just wanted to add, because you are feeling so distressed and stressed, this individual is now holding a lot of power over you. You need to take your power back. In your OP you talk about living in a small town, it's where your kids go to school etc. You are disempowering yourself with this thinking.

Please see GP, health is priority. Self care is essential. Do u have a support network around you? Regain your strength.

Phone ACAS

best wishes to you

Thank you yes I think the same thing sometimes which they makes me angry that one person is having such an effect on me! When you say about then having the control/power over me is one reason I don't want to leave in a haste or go off sick. Then I will be in a rush or pressuring my self to get any old job and I want to make sure it's one that suits me and my family best.

I have a good support network I've told some members of my family what's going on and they support me alot my mum said if it gets intolerable to go off sick. Inhavent told friends as I'm wary of any connections etc.

Why are people like this??? I'm not a threat to anyone, I don't want to step on anyone or take anyone's job. I just want to go into a job a love, earn money and come home that's it.

Thank you everyone for your help xxx

Hi op, do you work in a school (as you mention school hours)? Are you in a union?

Hi, no I dont work in a school but still managed to find a job in my field which fits in with school hours (very rare so I've probably outed myself a bit here!) Yes I am in a union. To be honest I just want to get out as fast as I can but still in my field and with good references etc as I want to progress in this area x

I think if managers and off health are all close with the bully you have good cause to bypass them and go directly to HR.