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Original poster

Feel so guilty about resigning after 6 months

60 replies

sunsethorizon · 20/07/2023 12:17

I started a new job at the beginning of the year and have been really struggling with it. My line manager left just after I joined and wasn’t replaced so now I report in to someone very senior who is nice but doesn’t have time or capacity to support me.

The job involves travel which was never made clear - overnight stays on average once a month, which is hard to manage as I have young kids.

I’m meant to be part time (agreed by the previous line manager) but this doesn’t work at all as no changes were made to the role so my workload is the same as my predecessor who was full time. But even if I were full time the workload would be unmanageable in my view, I often need to work in the evenings.

People are generally ok but there are exceptions, someone very senior made me cry recently as they were so rude to me (thankfully nobody saw!!) This hasn’t happened to me in years so I felt really pathetic!

So anyway. I decided I may as well start looking at jobs and I’ve just been offered one. It’s a part time role 20 minutes from my house. Team seems lovely and supportive. No travel. Lower pay but better annual leave. I think I want to take it but I am feeling SO guilty.

How can I resign after 6 months? I know they will be absolutely furious and I will be leaving them in the lurch as the workload is frankly insane and they will struggle to manage it without me. I also have two direct reports who I really like and I feel guilty for leaving them behind. Its a mid senior role so it will be noticed and people will comment about the fact I’ll be leaving after not even a year.

What should I do, should I stick it out longer? I feel awful.

OP posts:
Findyourneutralspace · 20/07/2023 12:20

Just leave! I think it’s ok to have one job on your CV that wasn’t a good fit. If you have many many 6 month roles it would be a concern, but this clearly isn’t working for you.
The job you’re leaving will replace you. Don’t tie yourself in knots over it. They managed before and they will manage again.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 20/07/2023 12:20

Just resign. If they ask give your reasons but politely. It’s a bit tricky as of you were only there 3 months you could get away with leaving it off your CV but you might need a reference from them in the future.

For future employers after this new one just give reasons you’ve given here as to why you resigned.

Alwaystired2023 · 20/07/2023 12:22

Resign it sounds awful, if the other job suits you and you can make the lower pay work then that's all great.

You control the narrative on leaving after 6 months - you gave it a good run but unfortunately the culture was not a match and you left rather than stay in a role that didn't suit you and that didn't match what was offered

MegBusset · 20/07/2023 12:26

Just leave. Don’t give it a second thought - you owe them nothing. They’d ditch you in a second if they had to make layoffs or restructure.

Nobody will bat an eyelid at a 6m role on your CV. This happens all the time for many reasons.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 20/07/2023 12:31

I left one job after 3 months - it was obvious from the first week it wasn't going to be right. I have it on my CV as a temp job. As long as you aren't a serial bailer after 6 months in every job you've had it should be OK.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 20/07/2023 12:34

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 20/07/2023 12:31

I left one job after 3 months - it was obvious from the first week it wasn't going to be right. I have it on my CV as a temp job. As long as you aren't a serial bailer after 6 months in every job you've had it should be OK.

Similar, I left a job after 2 months as the boss was a complete nightmare and expected vastly different things than was said at interview! I just say I was temping then and if I have to mention it I do but am polite and tactful about the situation and why I left.

Original poster
sunsethorizon · 20/07/2023 12:35

Thank you. I know you’re all right but I still feel so weird about it.

It’s a long ish notice period (3 months) so I am just worried it is going to be really really awkward 😬

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 20/07/2023 12:47

If they needed to get rid of you they would, probably without any guilt whatsoever.
Just do what’s best for yourself while being professional at all times

cocksstrideintheevening · 20/07/2023 14:23

Just resign they have another 18 months to get rid of you for no reason.

TreesAreBloodyGreat · 20/07/2023 14:29

If you can - leave. Work colleagues despite their protests rarely care about any of us.

Backstreets · 20/07/2023 14:35

just leave. I’ve never understood the “I must make it work” mindset. You don’t owe them anything except your resignation period.

Starlightstarbright2 · 20/07/2023 14:39

Everyone is replaceable at work . I learnt this in my previous job - they extended my contract then gave notice when work slowed so I learnt do what is best for me .

Circumferences · 20/07/2023 14:40

In your scenario in the way you've described it, if I were you I'd say "fuck it" and enjoy doing the bare minimum while you work your notice. Hand it all over to your superiors who have fucked up. Just do what you were contracted to do - NO more unpaid evening work that's madness.

ToWonderWhyIBother · 20/07/2023 14:42

How long was your probation period, as it was 6 months ago you might be able to negotiate a reduced notice period.

Life is too short to spend in a job that is not the right fit for you, chalk up the experience and move on.

Original poster
sunsethorizon · 20/07/2023 18:19

ToWonderWhyIBother · 20/07/2023 14:42

How long was your probation period, as it was 6 months ago you might be able to negotiate a reduced notice period.

Life is too short to spend in a job that is not the right fit for you, chalk up the experience and move on.

I didn’t really have a probation period as I moved internally (but to another department in a very large organisation) so it counts as continuous service.

OP posts:
Original poster
sunsethorizon · 20/07/2023 18:20

Circumferences · 20/07/2023 14:40

In your scenario in the way you've described it, if I were you I'd say "fuck it" and enjoy doing the bare minimum while you work your notice. Hand it all over to your superiors who have fucked up. Just do what you were contracted to do - NO more unpaid evening work that's madness.

I do feel I’ve been treated badly but I also can’t help but feel guilty at the same time and like it’s my fault! I’m such a people pleaser by nature 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 20/07/2023 18:34

I do feel I’ve been treated badly but I also can’t help but feel guilty at the same time and like it’s my fault! I’m such a people pleaser by nature 🤦‍♀️

I was cured of that by being made redundant after 12 years. My philosophy now is Piss Me Off And I Walk; which I did back in March 2021 after four years. I was near pension age anyway so couldn't have cared less.

DinnaeFashYersel · 20/07/2023 18:36

You signed your contract in ink not blood.

Just resign. They will get over it.

And you will be happier.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 20/07/2023 18:39

In the words of a post I once saw on LinkedIn - 'do not kill yourself for a company that will have replaced you before your funeral's been held.'

BettyBallerina · 20/07/2023 18:39

Could’ve written this a few months ago. Left after 7 months for a less money but less of a commute and better hours job. I did feel very guilty about it but it was absolutely the right decision. Slowly coming to realise just how awful the last job was. I’m so much happier and calmer.

LightSpeeds · 20/07/2023 19:13

Just leave and DO NOT feel bad. They'd get rid of you without a backwards glance if they had to.

howboutdah · 20/07/2023 19:17

This company has done nothing to support you- you don't have an appropriate line manager, you're working more hours than agreed and having to travel when that was clearly not part of the job you were offered.

You are leaving because the organisation has done nothing to support you. There is nothing to feel bad about. I guarantee if you stay for another 6 months you will regret tolerating this for this length of time.

Congratulations on your new job, a resignation doesn't need to say anything other than, "please accept my resignation, my last working day will be x"

lissie123 · 20/07/2023 19:19

Seriously just do it. I came back to work last week after hols to find that 60 people had been made redundant at my head office after all the v senior managers had promised there would be no redundancies. Nobody trusts them anymore and now I take the view “fuck em”, do what pleases you and don’t worry about them -companies don’t care so why should you.

missfliss · 20/07/2023 20:17

Needed to read this today - am 3 weeks into a new role and bricking it

Original poster
sunsethorizon · 20/07/2023 20:32

missfliss · 20/07/2023 20:17

Needed to read this today - am 3 weeks into a new role and bricking it

Oh no @missfliss are you also thinking about leaving?

OP posts:
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