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Harassed by universal credit!

273 replies

Ad210318 · 15/07/2023 19:35

Hi
I was just wondering if anyone else felt harassed by universal credit and how to deal with the situation.
so I have worked full time since 16 now 34. In 2020 my partner left and I had a baby (now 3) I have worked part time 8-10 hours a week since he was 9 months old.
recently he turned 3 and I have been non stop harassed by the job centre about getting 16 hours of work. I currently work 12 hours on a self employed basis but for a company. I have very limited child care only 1 day a week, going to 2 mornings and 1 full day in September when little one starts nursery. I don’t drive so need to stay local and also have no family to support with childcare. My sons dad is not involved in his life so I am literally on my own!
my question is how do you get the job centre off your back, they call me in 2-3 times a week and have done since my son was 9 months old. I feel like I’m doing everything I can right now to work but it’s never good enough and they are constantly on at me. Has anyone dealt with this before?
its making me so anxious! I literally don’t know how I can work more than I do without leaving my child home alone! (Obviously this isn’t an option)
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 14:48

@Arewehumanorarewecupboards and @JeandeServiette thank you very much for also pointing out how disgusting those comments were. Flowers

Ad210318 · 16/07/2023 14:53

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 14:34

I haven’t. I will definitely look into it though as it sounds like it may solve my issues. I’ve got an appointment Tuesday at the job centre so I will discuss with them too. Thank you for your help

Definitely ask them what they suggest. I have no idea but they may have contacts who could help.

Maybe ask on local fb pages what other parents in your area do? Also ask the nursery where your child will be starting: many ex-nursery workers become nannies so they may have friends/ contacts. Many parents would welcome a nanny share as it makes it comparable cost to nursery. Also they come to you, so would help with your transport issue/ time wasted commuting.

When I went back to work I needed to leave at 6am and nursery didn't open until 8am, so I needed a nanny to come at 5:30am, to get them ready and take them in. I thought nobody would want this job!! But some (insane 🤣) people are "early birds" and I managed to find an absolutely wonderful nanny with 30 years of experience and she has worked with us in some capacity, different hours at different times, ever since. She is like an older aunt/ grandma to them now and will always be part of our family. It can seem insurmountable to get the right things in place and takes some searching but it can be done.

You sound like you really want to work more and I hope you find a way, so you can start to build up a new life for you and your son. It does get a little easier as they get older although juggling school holidays is a nightmare!

Also: try to reserve a place with your local childminders now for school pickup etc ready for when your son starts school, if the school has no after school club. That way you're on their list before the problem comes up next year.

That’s good to hear about the nannies, I will be looking into this.
I have already requested a school pick up from the local child minder for next year so hopefully that will all go as planned. Thanks again for the advice I will definitely look into the childminder qualification because as you say holidays will also be difficult for me so this could be a good option! Thanks again and all the best

OP posts:
Ad210318 · 16/07/2023 14:54

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 14:48

@Arewehumanorarewecupboards and @JeandeServiette thank you very much for also pointing out how disgusting those comments were. Flowers

Sorry my thread has caused upset for you. Wouldn’t the world be a happier place if we could all be kind to one another 🙏

OP posts:
Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 14:57

That’s good to hear about the nannies, I will be looking into this.
I have already requested a school pick up from the local child minder for next year so hopefully that will all go as planned. Thanks again for the advice I will definitely look into the childminder qualification because as you say holidays will also be difficult for me so this could be a good option! Thanks again and all the best

I hope it helps. Childminders may do full days in school hols also, otherwise check out if there are clubs in your area (mine can't manage this but it helps a lot of parents) or befriend lots of parents when he starts school so you can swap some holiday childcare! It's really hard with 13 weeks to cover and only one parent so good to think ahead on this. If you would fancy being a childminder (I couldn't cope with that personally! 🤣) it is an easy solution to the holidays issue, and sounds like there'd be a lot of demand where you are if there's so little provision.

Feel free to DM me also if you need a rant about it all at some point: it's hard!! It sounds like you're doing everything you can.

halfpintshandypants · 16/07/2023 14:57

Quveas · 16/07/2023 07:30

I'm sorry, but there are conditions attached to claiming benefits. If you don't like the conditions, you can stop claiming. I appreciate that your difficulties may not be of your own making, but they are equally not the making of taxpayers who work many hours and find those benefits. So you are going to have to suck up the fact that if you have recourse to public funds then there are expectations placed upon your receipt of benefits.

What a snotty nasty response.

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 14:58

Sorry my thread has caused upset for you. Wouldn’t the world be a happier place if we could all be kind to one another 🙏

Absolutely! And not your fault at all. Nobody invited the unpleasant poster, just the nature of online forums, I guess.

JeandeServiette · 16/07/2023 15:24

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 14:48

@Arewehumanorarewecupboards and @JeandeServiette thank you very much for also pointing out how disgusting those comments were. Flowers

No problem.

I can't believe how much nastiness there has been on this thread.

I hope neither you nor OP are taking the snark to heart.

Runaround50 · 16/07/2023 15:32

Some horrid comments on here
Are these from real human beings?
Crikey, I hope not.

OP, I hope things go your way eventually. I know first hand what the DWP can be like. I remember being harassed following a cancer diagnosis. They were ringing every 5 minutes ( so it seemed!) while I was chucking my guts up from chemo
and mentally distraught from losing my hair. They can be brutal.

Somehow, you need to find a way to get them off your back . My advice would be to get in touch with CAB. They can be very helpful and even act as an advocate for you.

Best of luck 😀

Itwasathing · 16/07/2023 15:39

Runaround50 · 16/07/2023 15:32

Some horrid comments on here
Are these from real human beings?
Crikey, I hope not.

OP, I hope things go your way eventually. I know first hand what the DWP can be like. I remember being harassed following a cancer diagnosis. They were ringing every 5 minutes ( so it seemed!) while I was chucking my guts up from chemo
and mentally distraught from losing my hair. They can be brutal.

Somehow, you need to find a way to get them off your back . My advice would be to get in touch with CAB. They can be very helpful and even act as an advocate for you.

Best of luck 😀

Nasty isn’t it. As if some people want OP to have the most difficult life and jump through as many hoops as possible and thank them all as taxpayers for funding her 🙄

Im surprised she hasn’t been told to set alarms for 1,3,5 am just to wake up and think about calling round childcare providers !

Whiskyinajar · 16/07/2023 15:49

Good luck to you OP. It is hard but you will come out on top.

The early years with childcare etc are hard, especially if you are doing it alone. It does get easier with time though.

Runaround50 · 16/07/2023 15:50

Nasty isn’t it. As if some people want OP to have the most difficult life and jump through as many hoops as possible and thank them all as taxpayers for funding her 🙄

Im surprised she hasn’t been told to set alarms for 1,3,5 am just to wake up and think about calling round childcare providers !

It's unkind yes.
Life chucks enough hoops for us all to jump through as it is; without being hit when you are in a difficult situation.

We need to remember those who are claiming a shit load in expenses etc etc and the profits large companies are making, along with tax avoidance etc. What OP will be claiming, I expect is a mere drop in the ocean in comparison.

AND, in 5 years, she may well be earning a 6 figure salary anyway! 😀

Runaround50 · 16/07/2023 15:51

@Itwasathing sorry, meant to quote your message. Shite technical skills on my part! 😂

Mumtothreegirlies · 16/07/2023 15:59

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 14:41

High rate rate care and they go to mainstream??

What? Do you need realise how many children with high care needs are in mainstream school these days with parents having to fight for adjustments and cope with the fallout when their needs aren't met? Do you think specialist school places grow on trees? Your local authority must have far better provision than ours if you think all high-needs children get a place outside mainstream. And irrelevant to the thread anyway. Please stop trolling me now.

I don’t think you’re in any position to claim OP is shirking work and claiming all your taxes as you suggest she is.

I didn't say she was. I said the posters asserting that nobody with a child under school age should have to work are being ridiculous. How the hell would that be funded?

The OP clearly wants to work more. She's said so. Some posters are trying to provide suggestions to help her achieve that.

I know special needs places are difficult to come by but my high needs disabled child literally wouldn’t be able to attend school unless she had a place there and I know many parents are left having to homeschool due to this. I think you’re lucky that your children are able to learn in this environment with the right support in place.

the reason I’m being picky with you is because you insinuated that women who choose to work minimal hours are sponging off the tax payer. Maybe if governments weren’t spending billions on needless wars then 6 month old babies wouldn’t have to be in crèches and women like yourself wouldn’t have to be guilted and forced back into work juggling everything with such precious little ones to think of. I don’t think it’s the few who work part time that are responsible for your high taxes and it’s unfair for you to have suggested that. Which is why I’m sticking up for those women.

IncomingTraffic · 16/07/2023 15:59

Surely you will be eligible for 30 free hours in september if you work more (and 15 regardless). Then UC will pay 80% of the rest. Does your nursery have space for your child to attend more sessions?

Are you on the waiting list for more sessions when they come available? The currently preschool class are about to go to school, so it’s possible they will have more spaces from September.

Mumtothreegirlies · 16/07/2023 16:04

I think for the women who suggest that mums on UC should go to work full time or risk starvation unless they plop out their baby and pop it in daycare, need to also factor in different peoples backstory. PND, learning difficulties, depression, disability, hard upbringing etc. all these effect one’s ability to get a high paid job off the bat that afford them a full time nanny and if you managed in spite of that then good for you, you’re a rarity have your medal.

JanglyBeads · 16/07/2023 16:05

New posters, please RTFT!

No there are no more hours available at nursery.

Yes OP has put her DC on the waiting list!

Babyroobs · 16/07/2023 16:09

Runaround50 · 16/07/2023 15:32

Some horrid comments on here
Are these from real human beings?
Crikey, I hope not.

OP, I hope things go your way eventually. I know first hand what the DWP can be like. I remember being harassed following a cancer diagnosis. They were ringing every 5 minutes ( so it seemed!) while I was chucking my guts up from chemo
and mentally distraught from losing my hair. They can be brutal.

Somehow, you need to find a way to get them off your back . My advice would be to get in touch with CAB. They can be very helpful and even act as an advocate for you.

Best of luck 😀

Something clearly went wrong with your case as if you are having Chemotherapy you are automatically awarded LCWRA without an assessment and exempt from any work commitments.

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 16:21

I know special needs places are difficult to come by but my high needs disabled child literally wouldn’t be able to attend school unless she had a place there and I know many parents are left having to homeschool due to this. I think you’re lucky that your children are able to learn in this environment with the right support in place.

Nobody has made any comments about your situation or your child. I agree the provision for disabled children is shocking. This thread isn't even about disabled children so why are you derailing it repeatedly? Have you any useful advice for the OP's situation, where she wants to work more and is struggling to find childcare for a child without disabilities? Or are you here solely to attack other mothers?

I'm not interested in a competition about who has the most disabled child, yours may well have more significant disabilities than mine. Does that, in your view, justify you telling me that my children have "grown up in childcare" or have a "sad unloving existence" or tell me I haven't "been here for them when they needed me". Do you take the same view of fathers who work when their children are under school age? You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

the reason I’m being picky with you is because you insinuated that women who choose to work minimal hours are sponging off the tax payer. Maybe if governments weren’t spending billions on needless wars then 6 month old babies wouldn’t have to be in crèches and women like yourself wouldn’t have to be guilted and forced back into work juggling everything with such precious little ones to think of. I don’t think it’s the few who work part time that are responsible for your high taxes and it’s unfair for you to have suggested that. Which is why I’m sticking up for those women.

I don't think that it's fair to expect other taxpayers to fund a very part time/ non-working parent for every child until they are 4/5, no. It's simply not feasible, no matter what you do with tax rates. And if everybody works the minimum they possibly can per the benefit rules and expects others to "top up" their income when there are no disabilities and they could easily work more this also means that others are forced to pay higher taxes to fund this and therefore have less time with their own families. That is not fair. Don't you think time with their "precious little ones" is also important?

There is a lot wrong with our economic structure and tax system and I raise this repeatedly on different threads but that doesn't excuse abdicating responsibility for paying your fair share just because you can get away with it if there are no health/ disability issues in the mix.

That is what I objected to: the comments from some posters (not the OP!! She clearly stated she wants to work more and her problem is with finding suitable work/ childcare, which is what most posts other than yours have tried to focus on helping with) that all children should have a state funded parent staying at home with them until they are four or five. I'd love to know your proposals on how this would be paid for. Cutting the defence budget wouldn't cut it, I'm afraid.

Your posts have been deeply unpleasant and anything but supportive of women who are struggling in difficult situations. More like some kind of competitive misery and a hatred of mothers who work. In addition to providing no useful help whatsoever to the OP as far as I can see.

Now kindly stop tagging me and go and bother someone else.

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 16:26

Mumtothreegirlies · 16/07/2023 16:04

I think for the women who suggest that mums on UC should go to work full time or risk starvation unless they plop out their baby and pop it in daycare, need to also factor in different peoples backstory. PND, learning difficulties, depression, disability, hard upbringing etc. all these effect one’s ability to get a high paid job off the bat that afford them a full time nanny and if you managed in spite of that then good for you, you’re a rarity have your medal.

Just stop now. I grew up in an abusive home and left at 16 to live alone. I had no oven or fridge or heating system or money for electricity. You could see your breath in the air in that place and I had no washing machine, couldn't afford a launderette, clothes took days to dry and stank. I dragged myself up and I don't need your condescending bullshit or your medal.

You can have one for being the most unhelpful poster on this thread, the master derailer and the most deeply unpleasant person I've had to misfortune to converse with for quite some time. 🏅

I suggest you stop making judgements about other people's lives, of which you know nothing. I appreciate it is very hard raising a disabled child so you are likely worn down, exhausted and resentful but it won't help you to attack other people in this way and be so nasty to them.

Runaround50 · 16/07/2023 16:29

@Babyroobs yes clearly there was a fundamental error made somewhere. I did not the headspace or mental / physical energy to deal with it at the time.

Most distressing.

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 16:33

Runaround50 · 16/07/2023 16:29

@Babyroobs yes clearly there was a fundamental error made somewhere. I did not the headspace or mental / physical energy to deal with it at the time.

Most distressing.

Your story is horrific. That's so awful.

TimeToMoveIt · 16/07/2023 16:33

There are some utter arseholes about 🙄

Id check that the childminders take dc in the holidays when the time comes that you finally manage to get one op . Plenty of them do

DrCoconut · 16/07/2023 16:36

It doesn't matter what childcare you are "entitled to" if there's no places. I have no childminder to collect my 7 year old since Covid. No one else collects from that school, there's no after school club and moving him to the local urban guerrilla training camp that masquerades as a school is not an option. I'm a lone parent and being moved over to UC in autumn, not looking forward to it at all. I'm doing my best to work round the kids but it's not easy.

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 16:59

No problem.

I can't believe how much nastiness there has been on this thread.

I hope neither you nor OP are taking the snark to heart.

@JeandeServiette it's quite shocking just how spiteful some people can be. No wonder nothing improves for women and children, if people can't even stand together to try to provide useful suggestions to a single parent asking for advice and start attacking other single mothers instead. 🙄 I despair of humanity sometimes. But thank you again for your kindness: it means a lot that at least some women stood up to defend me and call out those vile comments about my children and my parenting. I've weathered far worse storms and it certainly won't be keeping me up at night, it's just rather depressing really. I don't see things improving much for women until they stand together.

Mumtothreegirlies · 16/07/2023 17:05

Kafkaland · 16/07/2023 16:21

I know special needs places are difficult to come by but my high needs disabled child literally wouldn’t be able to attend school unless she had a place there and I know many parents are left having to homeschool due to this. I think you’re lucky that your children are able to learn in this environment with the right support in place.

Nobody has made any comments about your situation or your child. I agree the provision for disabled children is shocking. This thread isn't even about disabled children so why are you derailing it repeatedly? Have you any useful advice for the OP's situation, where she wants to work more and is struggling to find childcare for a child without disabilities? Or are you here solely to attack other mothers?

I'm not interested in a competition about who has the most disabled child, yours may well have more significant disabilities than mine. Does that, in your view, justify you telling me that my children have "grown up in childcare" or have a "sad unloving existence" or tell me I haven't "been here for them when they needed me". Do you take the same view of fathers who work when their children are under school age? You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

the reason I’m being picky with you is because you insinuated that women who choose to work minimal hours are sponging off the tax payer. Maybe if governments weren’t spending billions on needless wars then 6 month old babies wouldn’t have to be in crèches and women like yourself wouldn’t have to be guilted and forced back into work juggling everything with such precious little ones to think of. I don’t think it’s the few who work part time that are responsible for your high taxes and it’s unfair for you to have suggested that. Which is why I’m sticking up for those women.

I don't think that it's fair to expect other taxpayers to fund a very part time/ non-working parent for every child until they are 4/5, no. It's simply not feasible, no matter what you do with tax rates. And if everybody works the minimum they possibly can per the benefit rules and expects others to "top up" their income when there are no disabilities and they could easily work more this also means that others are forced to pay higher taxes to fund this and therefore have less time with their own families. That is not fair. Don't you think time with their "precious little ones" is also important?

There is a lot wrong with our economic structure and tax system and I raise this repeatedly on different threads but that doesn't excuse abdicating responsibility for paying your fair share just because you can get away with it if there are no health/ disability issues in the mix.

That is what I objected to: the comments from some posters (not the OP!! She clearly stated she wants to work more and her problem is with finding suitable work/ childcare, which is what most posts other than yours have tried to focus on helping with) that all children should have a state funded parent staying at home with them until they are four or five. I'd love to know your proposals on how this would be paid for. Cutting the defence budget wouldn't cut it, I'm afraid.

Your posts have been deeply unpleasant and anything but supportive of women who are struggling in difficult situations. More like some kind of competitive misery and a hatred of mothers who work. In addition to providing no useful help whatsoever to the OP as far as I can see.

Now kindly stop tagging me and go and bother someone else.

If your children are disabled then you too could have claimed UC when they were little and claimed carers and worked part time.
you chose not to, so that’s on you. Nobody forced you to spend time away from your little ones.
OP paid her taxes (probably more years then you have as you have a top high paying job that probably was built on years of education rather then in work paying taxes) so she’s entitled to a top up.
once again stop pointing your finger at people one benefits and rather point your finger at politicians who are the biggest spongers of us all.