Harassed by universal credit!

[Ad210318]

Hi
I was just wondering if anyone else felt harassed by universal credit and how to deal with the situation.
so I have worked full time since 16 now 34. In 2020 my partner left and I had a baby (now 3) I have worked part time 8-10 hours a week since he was 9 months old.
recently he turned 3 and I have been non stop harassed by the job centre about getting 16 hours of work. I currently work 12 hours on a self employed basis but for a company. I have very limited child care only 1 day a week, going to 2 mornings and 1 full day in September when little one starts nursery. I don’t drive so need to stay local and also have no family to support with childcare. My sons dad is not involved in his life so I am literally on my own!
my question is how do you get the job centre off your back, they call me in 2-3 times a week and have done since my son was 9 months old. I feel like I’m doing everything I can right now to work but it’s never good enough and they are constantly on at me. Has anyone dealt with this before?
its making me so anxious! I literally don’t know how I can work more than I do without leaving my child home alone! (Obviously this isn’t an option)
Thanks in advance

Why don't you look at becoming a childminder yourself? There's obviously a gap in the market

It's not unreasonable to be expected to work 16 hours with a 3 year old that will get free childcare funding also. You agree to commitments when you sign up to UC in return for the payments.

The basic course for this, to become Ofsted registered, can be done online. And if you are claiming UC I believe you can do it for free.

https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/find-a-course/details?courseId=d50bfc7f-ccf1-41d3-99e3-fc1ccb62ac45&runId=743423bf-c8fc-4ac8-8a3b-7cf5ea4f5700&searchTerm=tiling%20course&town=&courseType=[%22%22]&courseHours=[%22%22]&courseStudyTime=[%22%22]&startDate=&distance=&filtera=False&page=29&orderByValue=&coordinates=&campaignCode=&qualificationLevels=&D=0#:~:text=Our%20courses%20are%20government%20funded,see%20if%20you're%20eligible.

Not sure why that link went so weird!

https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/find-a-course/details?courseId=d50bfc7f-ccf1-41d3-99e3-fc1ccb62ac45&runId=743423bf-c8fc-4ac8-8a3b-7cf5ea4f5700&searchTerm=tiling%20course&town=&courseType=[%22%22]&courseHours=[%22%22]&courseStudyTime=[%22%22]&startDate=&distance=&filtera=False&page=29&orderByValue=&coordinates=&campaignCode=&qualificationLevels=&D=0#:~:text=Our%20courses%20are%20government%20funded,see%20if%20you're%20eligible.

Same again. Weirdness of Mumsnet app. Not what I posted, but still appears to work!

If both your children have SEN then where did you find childcare? My daughters disabled and no such thing exists where I live in the south.
how did you manage to work full time when your children would have had appointments several times a week and needed you more then the average child? Why weren’t you there for your disabled children when they were babies and needed you. Sounds a very sad unloving existence for them unless you had a family member looking after them that could tend to all of their disabled needs.

This- people are much better off working because depending whether they rent or have a mortgage they get a work allowance meaning that quite a significant portion of wages are completely disregarded before some benefits are lost. In my opinion Uc is , for people with kids pretty generous and the number of hours they expect you to work pretty low, although I believe it is increasing later this year. I appreciate childcare is the problem in this situation but generally people are far better off by working even a few hours a week.

Sounds like training as a childminder would be a good idea if there’s none in your area!

(I know nothing about what it takes to be a childminder btw).

Why weren’t you there for your disabled children when they were babies and needed you. Sounds a very sad unloving existence for them unless you had a family member looking after them that could tend to all of their disabled needs.

@Mumtothreegirlies are you always so vile?

As a parent to a disabled child I highly doubt her children had disabilities if she was able to put them in normal childcare facilities full time at 6 months old. And personally I think it’s vile for people to suggest that a young child should have to grow up in childcare and a single mother should be forced to spend most of her life away from her baby. Point the fingers at the government and absent fathers not the mothers and children.

If both your children have SEN then where did you find childcare?

I have used a combination of nannies and a nursery with adjustments and additional support in place to help them there. Yes, it's been financially crippling but there's not much choice given I needed to provide for them and make sure they didn't lose their home. Both now school age but have to have nannies after school and in holidays. If only I could get 85% of it paid for me!

My daughters disabled and no such thing exists where I live in the south.

I am in the south. It depends also on the precise nature of the disabilities I suppose. Now that they both finally receive DLA that covers a small proportion of the childcare bill.

how did you manage to work full time when your children would have had appointments several times a week and needed you more then the average child?

I take time off work for the appointments and then make it up at night, during the periods they do actually sleep: their sleep is awful.

Why weren’t you there for your disabled children when they were babies and needed you. Sounds a very sad unloving existence for them unless you had a family member looking after them that could tend to all of their disabled needs.

How fucking dare you? I have done everything for my children. Fought for early diagnosis and appropriate adjustments and therapy and specialists. I work hard to provide them with a lovely, stable home and they have been to an extremely loving nursery and have nannies who are now like part of our family who they adore and adore them back and will remain in contact even when they are not needed for childcare anymore. Being at nursery/ school has still left 50 waking hours per week that they spend quality time with me and they are very much loved, securely attached and happy.

But in your opinion I should have done what? Let them lose their home on top of the trauma they suffered, give up my job and bring them up in poverty?

What a vile comment. Working parents "aren't there for their children"? Do you say this to fathers, too?

Perhaps, if my tax bill wasn't so high because so many people work the minimum they can get away with and expect others to fund them, I could have afforded to work part time and spend more time with my own children.

And OP's child isn't even disabled so the issues around more expensive childcare don't even apply in her case.

As a parent to a disabled child I highly doubt her children had disabilities if she was able to put them in normal childcare facilities full time at 6 months old.

If you think I'm lying report my post and ask Mumsnet to investigate. If not then stop casting aspertions on other people's lived experiences.

If you must know I also have chronic disabilities myself. 🤣

30 hours if your child is over 1 years old without disabilities. When my sister claimed UC if she earned anything over £500 they’d deduct half of it.

All true but the issue seems to be that the childcare capacity isn't available to book sufficient sessions, which is a tough spot for OP.

I think for them to go into full time childcare at 6 months in a normal average childcare setting, their extra needs must be very low, so you can’t place yourself in the same position as parents with high needs sen children. My daughter goes to a special needs school and not a single mother works because it’s impossible.
Ao you don’t get a medal for working when they were babies as obviously this was a viable option for your situation.

@Ad210318 have you looked into this? I have tried to make some useful suggestions that may help you. Of course it's never easy as a lone parent but ultimately you will find a way to do it if you explore all options.

• Kafkaland Other option OP is to do what my friend does and get a side cart for a bike and then you can cycle with him to the village and back whenever you want, no limitation from bus times. Her kid loves it.

It has a raincover and stuff for winter. And DC goes in there with a hot water bottle on cold mornings all snuggled up with a blanket! She collects one of my DC in it for playdates sometimes and it's always the highlight of her week! Also then you'd have no bus fares to pay. Could be a really easy solution to your problem, give you a lot more freedom in terms of work options etc. Are there more nurseries and childminders in the village if you could get him there and back easily?

And this one. Cheap solution that your kid will love and from what you described will open up more work and childcare options because it'll give you easy access to a much wider area with none of the timetable/ cost restrictions involved in public transport.

I haven’t. I will definitely look into it though as it sounds like it may solve my issues. I’ve got an appointment Tuesday at the job centre so I will discuss with them too. Thank you for your help

I think for them to go into full time childcare at 6 months in a normal average childcare setting, their extra needs must be very low, so you can’t place yourself in the same position as parents with high needs sen children. My daughter goes to a special needs school and not a single mother works because it’s impossible.
Ao you don’t get a medal for working when they were babies as obviously this was a viable option for your situation.

Obviously different children with disabilities have different levels of needs. At the moment my children manage mainstream school with a lot of support but I doubt they will for secondary. It's not a competition. And it's not for you to judge their needs. The DWP clearly disagree with you since both receive hoghest rate care allowance now.

I was very careful in what childcare I chose for them, so no, it was not "average". I don't want a medal. Yes, obviously it was a viable option, considering it happened.

It does however, show that some of the claims on this thread that it's impossible for a lone parent of one child with no disabilities to work or work more than one day a week until they go to school are nonsense.

I think your attitude is disgusting, trying to play disability top trumps. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with this thread.

You obviously have a job that is very high paid for to have been able to raise 2 children and afford a nanny (with SN qualifications) mortgage etc. The cost of a nanny is a full time salary even without them having SN qualifications. And for your children to have been able to attend nursery meant that their care needs were pretty much on par with their peers. My job would have never allowed me to have 3 days off for hospital appointments which is why I’m self employed as it fits better with my daughters care needs.

Yes she's making quite the habit of it.

High rate rate care and they go to mainstream??
I don’t think you’re in any position to claim OP is shirking work and claiming all your taxes as you suggest she is.

I haven’t. I will definitely look into it though as it sounds like it may solve my issues. I’ve got an appointment Tuesday at the job centre so I will discuss with them too. Thank you for your help

Definitely ask them what they suggest. I have no idea but they may have contacts who could help.

Maybe ask on local fb pages what other parents in your area do? Also ask the nursery where your child will be starting: many ex-nursery workers become nannies so they may have friends/ contacts. Many parents would welcome a nanny share as it makes it comparable cost to nursery. Also they come to you, so would help with your transport issue/ time wasted commuting.

When I went back to work I needed to leave at 6am and nursery didn't open until 8am, so I needed a nanny to come at 5:30am, to get them ready and take them in. I thought nobody would want this job!! But some (insane 🤣) people are "early birds" and I managed to find an absolutely wonderful nanny with 30 years of experience and she has worked with us in some capacity, different hours at different times, ever since. She is like an older aunt/ grandma to them now and will always be part of our family. It can seem insurmountable to get the right things in place and takes some searching but it can be done.

You sound like you really want to work more and I hope you find a way, so you can start to build up a new life for you and your son. It does get a little easier as they get older although juggling school holidays is a nightmare!

Also: try to reserve a place with your local childminders now for school pickup etc ready for when your son starts school, if the school has no after school club. That way you're on their list before the problem comes up next year.

You obviously have a job that is very high paid for to have been able to raise 2 children and afford a nanny (with SN qualifications) mortgage etc. The cost of a nanny is a full time salary even without them having SN qualifications. And for your children to have been able to attend nursery meant that their care needs were pretty much on par with their peers. My job would have never allowed me to have 3 days off for hospital appointments which is why I’m self employed as it fits better with my daughters care needs.

Yes, I've worked hard to build a career so I can provide for my family. It's still a huge financial struggle. I told you, I am not interested in your game of disability top trumps, it doesn't excuse your vile comments about me and my children, and it is - in any case - irrelevant to the OP's dilemma.

High rate rate care and they go to mainstream??

What? Do you need realise how many children with high care needs are in mainstream school these days with parents having to fight for adjustments and cope with the fallout when their needs aren't met? Do you think specialist school places grow on trees? Your local authority must have far better provision than ours if you think all high-needs children get a place outside mainstream. And irrelevant to the thread anyway. Please stop trolling me now.

I don’t think you’re in any position to claim OP is shirking work and claiming all your taxes as you suggest she is.

I didn't say she was. I said the posters asserting that nobody with a child under school age should have to work are being ridiculous. How the hell would that be funded?

The OP clearly wants to work more. She's said so. Some posters are trying to provide suggestions to help her achieve that.