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Original poster

Boss taking all annual leave over school holidays

206 replies

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:00

Between me and my boss one of us has to be in to provide cover. We both have school aged children but mine are reception and pre school and hers are secondary.

she has emailed me to say that management have approved for her to take her holiday across august and Xmas and Easter and I can’t take those times off as need to cover. Explained that we would need to compromise as also need time off then and she’s said if I don’t cover it mean she won’t get to spend time with her children or see her extended family(?!)

AIBU to think this is really unfair? We both want the same times off but surely we have to divvy them up? She can’t just take them all?

OP posts:
BlissedOutCat · 02/07/2023 12:02

She's taking 10 weeks off! Wow, not many jobs offer that.

very unfair of her though.

BungleandGeorge · 02/07/2023 12:03

If you want those times off why haven’t you requested them already?

HighEndGrifters · 02/07/2023 12:03

First up, best dressed.

Readyplayerthr33 · 02/07/2023 12:04

Why didn’t you put in for the dates you wanted when holiday booking opened for this tax year?

Chickenpoxhelp · 02/07/2023 12:04

I’d be looking for a new job sharpish. That’s proper dick behaviour.

Trez1510 · 02/07/2023 12:05

If the process of requesting leave is a first-come, first-served basis then she has done nothing wrong in getting in there first.

If it's a case that these things should be negotiated/agreed within the team, then she is unreasonable.

DarkForces · 02/07/2023 12:05

Thats so unfair. I'd be looking for a new job starting asap

DéjàMoo82 · 02/07/2023 12:05

That's completely unfair and if she's unwilling to compromise then I'd go above her to management. Annual leave has to be shared fairly - there'll always be a degree of first come first served, but everywhere I've worked they've always tried to be fair around popular times like Xmas and summer holidays.

tweener · 02/07/2023 12:07

So she's getting 6 weeks in summer, 2 weeks at Christmas and 2 weeks and 2 weeks in Easter? Or is it that she's got a bit of time off in each but not the entire holiday?

fruitbrewhaha · 02/07/2023 12:07

Is that for this summer? Or is this next year’s leave. Is there a date when the following year’s calendar is opened up? As in 30 June you have to book your leave and she has got in before you? She’s played the system but I would say is unreasonable. She is your manager and you are likely to be pretty pissed off at not having anytime off and having to pay for childcare. Her kids can look after themselves.

Is it the whole of Easter and Xmas break? I’d ask for a week each. Surely she hasn’t taken 6 weeks for the summer? Has she left two weeks for you?

Original poster
Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:08

No it’s not first come first serve but making sure there is cover and working between us. She is taking two weeks on august which OK fine I can take the other two but there wasn’t any discussion.

OP posts:
WunWun · 02/07/2023 12:08

Did you tell her the same applied to you?

saveforthat · 02/07/2023 12:09

Xmas has always been treated differently wherever I've worked, other than that it's first come first served. If you are her cover it would have been the decent thing to talk to you. When she said she wouldn't see her family if you didn't cover, what did you say? Several sarcastic retorts have come to mind.

tweener · 02/07/2023 12:12

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:08

No it’s not first come first serve but making sure there is cover and working between us. She is taking two weeks on august which OK fine I can take the other two but there wasn’t any discussion.

Why should there be a discussion if she's left you 4 weeks in summer to pick from? She's not nabbed the whole 6 weeks and said "tough shit." You've clearly not arranged anything for those dates as you've not booked it off or spoken to her, so what does it matter?

Original poster
Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:16

Sorry to clarify, it’s the last two weeks of august (to utilise the bank hol) a week over Xmas so the bit between Xmas and new year and two weeks over Easter. I had said well why don’t we sit down and go through and she said that if I didn’t agree she would be unable to go on holiday.

OP posts:
Schoolchoicesucks · 02/07/2023 12:17

I left a job partly because of this. When I joined, I was told that boss and I couldn't be off at the same time. Then found out that boss had a "term time only" contract. Meaning I couldn't take any leave in holidays. I said that would be a problem and was grudgingly allowed to take one week in the summer and the odd day in other holidays.
That wasn't going to work for me.

It doesn't sound quite as bad - she's got in 1st with choice of weeks in August but you can take the other weeks. I agree it would be better to have a discussion and agree. One takes Christmas and the other Easter or a week each. One takes May and the other October. Or half the week each. Or discuss and come up with a plan that means you can both be off for a short period. Could one of you agree to be on call and check urgent things remotely?

Twattle · 02/07/2023 12:17

I would say well if you don't compromise i won't be able to see my family and go on holiday.

Quveas · 02/07/2023 12:19

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:08

No it’s not first come first serve but making sure there is cover and working between us. She is taking two weeks on august which OK fine I can take the other two but there wasn’t any discussion.

To be fair, you are capable of speaking as well. You knew that you wanted time off during school holidays, so why did you not book them, or have the conversation about it? She has asked for time off and it has been authorised; and at the time there was no other request for time off in. Just because you have school age children / younger children doesn't mean that you will definitely want specific dates off - I have plenty of parents in my team with younger children and many of them have other arrangements and want to work during school holidays because that suits their circumstances. Communication is a two way thing - you can't complain about her not speaking to you about her wants when you didn't speak to her about yours - both of you knew that cover is required.

PostOpOp · 02/07/2023 12:23

Well if you stay there, you know exactly what you need to do next year. And if there's any talk if "compromise" you can cite her holidays this year.

But you do actually need to act, because if you just complain about it, that's kind of pointless, past the advantage of just venting and feeling better.

ActDottie · 02/07/2023 12:24

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:16

Sorry to clarify, it’s the last two weeks of august (to utilise the bank hol) a week over Xmas so the bit between Xmas and new year and two weeks over Easter. I had said well why don’t we sit down and go through and she said that if I didn’t agree she would be unable to go on holiday.

I think it’s fine you’ve got 4 other weeks of summer holiday to take plus half terms. The Christmas part is fine but you need to make it clear that next year you want Christmas off.

Notusuallystressedatwork · 02/07/2023 12:41

I think YABU - you’ve put it across as if she is taking every single day of school holidays. She isn’t. She’s simply booked some of it. Summer holidays are 6 weeks - she is taking 2 weeks.

She’s already booked the Christmas week - this definitely is ‘first to book’ so if you knew you wanted it, by now in July you really should have submitted that request.

And she has booked Easter.

There are half terms in February and October as well as god knows how many inset days and bank holidays

I have both primary and secondary school age children and yes those secondary school children do too only get to go on holiday in school holidays - the fact you have primary age children is absolutely no different to her own situation

Book your holidays first then next year - and chalk this up as experience

Original poster
Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:45

It’s definitely not first come first serve, and I hadn’t thought of Xmas in June tbh 😂

august not so much of an issue, it’s more the fact that she’s saying it always has to be the last two weeks and that’s not fair either.

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 02/07/2023 12:45

I don’t think it’s fair that gets to pick the best. If she has Christmas, you should get Easter.

Notusuallystressedatwork · 02/07/2023 12:52

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:45

It’s definitely not first come first serve, and I hadn’t thought of Xmas in June tbh 😂

august not so much of an issue, it’s more the fact that she’s saying it always has to be the last two weeks and that’s not fair either.

Every parent is given the school calendar so you would have been more than aware of when your children were off school and indeed a general idea of when you would have wanted/needed time off with them - the fact that she has booked Christmas off and you have stated this is an issue, in itself says that you had wanted that time off yourself - whether you say you hadnt thought of Christmas in June or not, most other working parents do and she has got in first with it - so clearly it is a case of first come first serve, otherwise her leave request wouldn’t have been granted

CubDeCap · 02/07/2023 12:54

My work is exactly the same. You need to be firm in my experience. So "you are taking next Christmas- so I must have next Christmas (the week between Christmas and new year).

For summer holidays you need to agree on Feb / March or earlier if you need to book a holiday earlier.

And so on.

I find Christmas is the real crunch when there's a you-or-me policy. But as I say it's do-able if you are firm.