Boss taking all annual leave over school holidays

[Sickofthissheeet]

Between me and my boss one of us has to be in to provide cover. We both have school aged children but mine are reception and pre school and hers are secondary.

she has emailed me to say that management have approved for her to take her holiday across august and Xmas and Easter and I can’t take those times off as need to cover. Explained that we would need to compromise as also need time off then and she’s said if I don’t cover it mean she won’t get to spend time with her children or see her extended family(?!)

AIBU to think this is really unfair? We both want the same times off but surely we have to divvy them up? She can’t just take them all?

But does the OP NEED the last two weeks of August off? If the boss has a good reason for preferring those weeks (birthday, event, whatever) why does it matter if the OP can take any of the other four weeks. It really wouldn't bother me unless I was invited to a wedding or something. The bank holiday is really neither here nor there - if you take 10 days leave it's no real burden compared with taking 9.

I worked with someone who was very vocal about always needing the Christmas-new year week off - to spend it with her child (not the only parent!)

She would come back in after new year and book the next one off. Due to the nature of our work, it wasn't possible for another member of our team to be off at the same time. I think most wouldn't have minded, but she was so bloody smug in the run up to Christmas that she really got peoples backs up!

@lieselotte

But surely there should be a conversation and some willingness to compromise if needed?

Anyone who thinks they can unilaterally decide this is selfish and should not be working in a role where it affects other people.

@familyissues12345

Why didn't anyone else book it off before she got the chance?

Why didn't anyone speak to whoever manages holiday and suggest a rotation?

I'd be looking for another role immediately; that's not reasonable.

There was one year that someone else got in first, otherwise she was always first in the office to get her name up on the holiday board!

The management wouldn't do anything about it, it was first come first served so seen as tough luck. She was hard work to work with, no way she would have listened to a why don't we take it in turns conversation

The August thing might make your life easier going forwards as you can plan around that and know which weeks you have to play with.
Christmas and Easter obviously are much harder. I know you think it is quite early, but my team are already talking about Christmas leave! We’ve always had the rule that if you get your first choice of time off one Christmas, someone else gets priority the next year. Maybe you could suggest that?
Is your work so urgent that it can’t handle you both being off for a couple of days between Christmas and New Year? When I worked for a small organisation, they completely shut down for a week over Christmas so everyone could have it off, could that be possible?

So she took the best weeks last time. When did the diary open to get approval for Christmas and Easter next year?

If you’re supposed to work it out between you but she says management have already approved, then she has asked them to approve when she hasn’t gone through the negotiation step with you. I know it’s a bit awkward but you could tell management you haven’t been consulted and haven’t agreed.

As a manager she should be better than this instead of throwing her weight around. There needs to be give and take. If she is dead set on the end of August she should give you first refusal for Easter. If she doesn’t want to split Christmas between you she should agree now you can have next Christmas.

Really though she is showing you that she is a really selfish person, I wouldn’t want her to be my manager and would look for another job and hope the person who gets your job is just as selfish and sneaky as her.

So glad I don't work with you.

At my (former, I'm retired) office the 'worker bees' got together and figured it out. If there was a conflict, we had a rota based on 'she who had it off last year goes to the bottom of the list for this year'. But our 'boss' wasn't part of that, she had to fight it out with the other 'bosses'.

Yes, your boss should compromise, or agree to flip flopping with you every other year. My question is how much of a 'real' boss is she? Because if she's a 'real' boss (ie an actual member of management) then unfortunately RHP (rank has privilege) and I don't see there's much you can do. Are you in a union by any chance? If so, get in touch with them and ask if anything can be done. But if she's simply a 'more senior employee with additional responsibilities' then perhaps there's a higher up you can go to. Perhaps not for this year, but to set up some kind of system or rota for the future.

Do you have a HR Department? Either go to then or your boss and ask if you will be getting a revised set of terms for your job that's specifies when holiday can and can't be requested.

She is setting new terms for you without negotiation or agreement with you. That's not allowed.

Imagine if you left and your job was advertised as ''no holidays over Xmas, Easter or last two weeks of Augusts'

I don't think so. She's taking the piss and you need to challenge it, and be prepared to leave.

Thank god I've never worked anywhere that would allow that. Bloody entitled parents.

It’s not just parents who do this, I worked with someone who would book the week of Glastonbury the minute he could, even if he didn’t get tickets. Another colleague had a birthday in August, she would always book time off as soon as the Callander allowed you to. It’s not entitlement, some people are more organised than others.

Why not? I used to book it in January.

You said it's not first come, first served. So, if you request holidays, someone else can then ask for the same time and you can lose out to them. That sounds mad. However, before agreeing the boss's holiday request for the whole of Christmas and Easter, they really should have discussed it with both of you.

Obviously workplaces work differently but if your annual leave choices affect one other person to the extent you are even theoretically able to ensure they can’t ever have particular times of year off then your workplace enables dick moves.

What sort of decent workplace operates on first come, first served. If you are a team and need cover then it should absolutely be a discussion. I'd look good another job if I got no support from other managers about this. She's being so selfish and entitled.

Oh and Easter 2024 straddles March and April! 😉

Me too. I want to ensure I get time with my child. It’s my priority. If others aren’t so bothered that’s their problem.

I think yanbu. As a manager I always look to make sure the WHOLE team has equal access to holiday opportunities. I told my boss I was happy to work Christmas if I could have October half term. I told him this in January. I discover he has booked October half term and Christmas for himself as “I don’t get to choose dates because my ex dictates what I get”.
Well guess what I don’t get to dictate when my kids have half term holiday!

it is one more nail in the coffin of this job and I suspect OP that you feel the same.

the only one I would be pissed off with is Xmas holidays. if you have worked the past few years then it's your turn to take it off. the rest I am sorry are fine. however though I would bring it up with HR about the unfairness of her getting priority over you. personally though I think you need to look for another job. I had issues with holidays in a previous job. the girl who covered me had children. had worked Xmas the past three years. i had my Xmas holidays booked in Jan prevoisue and approved. had family coming home and it was a huge celebration plus family wedding between Xmas and New year. about November time she copped I was off and went crying to the boss. got pulled in by boss and told couldn't have time off as poor so so had children and she should be prioritised over me. I fought back but not avail. juts by conicendendce though due to numerous other things going in the place alot caused by her I had been looking for a new job. I got offered one (all be it not exactly was looking for but was good for a stop gap) at end of November to start in Jan. had to give a month's notice and due to hols actually finished the week before Xmas. both my boss and so so faces were a picture. heard after she did some batching about me as she had to work and she made huge f ups too (as she never listened to me when I trained her) I got a nice few weeks off over ad and really enjoyed family home and wedding. I now work for a company that closes the week between Xmas and New years which is brilliant and it forces people to use annual leave. I actually think that unless your company has to be working between Xmas and new year then you should close down. in this situation if they are open then the pain should be shared

To be fair I am in that position and it is bloody hard having no say in which weeks you have your children

Do her extended family all go on holiday together the last two weeks in August? Unless I had an existing arrangement at the same time then I'd be happy to work around her. You have another 4 weeks to take holiday.

Christmas & Easter, say 'that's fine, but I'm doing that next year!' We'll swap around each year. If you can, have one 'best option' between Christmas & Easter and get one hood & one not so good option per year.

you're drip feeding, but generally I don't think she's done anything wrong except not 'asked' you first.

@CovertImage
why 'bloody entitled parents'??? I assume all co workers can book their leave on Jan 1st also!