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Original poster

Boss taking all annual leave over school holidays

206 replies

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:00

Between me and my boss one of us has to be in to provide cover. We both have school aged children but mine are reception and pre school and hers are secondary.

she has emailed me to say that management have approved for her to take her holiday across august and Xmas and Easter and I can’t take those times off as need to cover. Explained that we would need to compromise as also need time off then and she’s said if I don’t cover it mean she won’t get to spend time with her children or see her extended family(?!)

AIBU to think this is really unfair? We both want the same times off but surely we have to divvy them up? She can’t just take them all?

OP posts:
chopc · 02/07/2023 14:17

Say August this year is fine.

Have to compromise Easter and Christmas so that you each get holidays during one of the periods every year

I don't understand how she would think anything else if fair and it's not your problem if she cannot spend time with her family if she doesn't get those holidays as you need to spend time with yours too.

Tinkerbyebye · 02/07/2023 14:18

I would go to her boss and tell her you don’t agree with the leave, you both get two weeks in the summer holidays , one gets Easter and one gets Christmas. That’s fair

explain you have had to work both, that you also have kids you can’t go on holiday with/see in the same way as her and you would like to have holiday at either ester or Christmas

if they refuse i would simply start to look for another job And give the minimum notice

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 02/07/2023 14:19

CovertImage · 02/07/2023 14:04

When mine was primary age I put my holidays in for the next 12 months on the 1st Jan when the calendar opened.

Thank god I've never worked anywhere that would allow that. Bloody entitled parents.

Nothing to do with "entitled parents" and I'm also quite surprised that you have never worked anywhere that allows you to book for the full holiday year? How odd!

My DH used to work in a place where people would turn up at 4am (they started at 6am) on the day the holiday book opened to make sure they got their preferred dates. And only a couple of them were parents.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 02/07/2023 14:20

CovertImage · 02/07/2023 14:04

When mine was primary age I put my holidays in for the next 12 months on the 1st Jan when the calendar opened.

Thank god I've never worked anywhere that would allow that. Bloody entitled parents.

What's entitled about that? Presumably everyone has access to the holiday calendar. You want the popular dates, you book in those dates as soon as your able!

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 02/07/2023 14:23

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 12:45

It’s definitely not first come first serve, and I hadn’t thought of Xmas in June tbh 😂

august not so much of an issue, it’s more the fact that she’s saying it always has to be the last two weeks and that’s not fair either.

It seems odd to me that you are still booking this year's dates, our holiday year runs from March to Feb each year, we had to have 90% of holiday booked by April this year. We can book holiday from exactly 1 year in advance so if you want a particular week you get in with your request 12 months before you want it. I suggest you decide what you want next year and get it sorted now. "So Deirdre as you have these dates booked I'll take Christmas 2024 and Easter 2025 and these weeks in summer 2024.

TrueScrumptious · 02/07/2023 14:23

CovertImage · 02/07/2023 14:04

When mine was primary age I put my holidays in for the next 12 months on the 1st Jan when the calendar opened.

Thank god I've never worked anywhere that would allow that. Bloody entitled parents.

That’s completely normal everywhere I’ve ever worked. You request holiday for the entire year as soon as the leave year opens. In fact, we are told to do so - parents and non-parents. We keep a few days back for unforeseen things.

Creditcrunch2243 · 02/07/2023 14:24

My boss used to do this. She would publish the holiday calendar with all her holiday already booked in. It was so unfair.

rwalker · 02/07/2023 14:25

Out of 12 weeks school holidays she’s booked 5 weeks that must be her allowance so rest will be free for you

as for Xmas you could suggest alternating do you have the year after

august there’d still 4 weeks

Daleksatemyshed · 02/07/2023 14:27

In the nicest way Op I think you've been a bit naive here, did you think because you both had DC you'd work dates out between you so it was fair? I've known lots of working parents who booked their holidays first day leave booking was open and they didn't give a damn as long as they got the dates they wanted.
You can move jobs but you'd have to move to a bigger team or you'll have the same problem again.

YouJustDoYou · 02/07/2023 14:28

Mine did similar. I had to quit.

ChrisPPancake · 02/07/2023 14:29

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 13:59

No I think you don’t understand, for xmas everyone wants that week off, as it’s actual xmas week? Between xmas and new year, the bit where you do stuff!

Easter it’s the whole holiday.

August it’s the last two weeks, every single year. She has said that always has been her summer holiday period going forward. I guess she’s raised it because it’s my first august having to deal with school summer holidays.

But it's not the whole of the Christmas school break is it? So take the other week and arrange stuff for those days 🤷 Plus if you don't work bank holidays you'll have more time off than her anyway that way.

Agree a conversation prior would have been better but if she's the boss I guess it's her call.

Grendell · 02/07/2023 14:30

I worked at a place where the most tenured person (25 years) got what she wanted because of her tenure, so I was never going to get any "good" holiday-related days off. I quit.

Another place would only allow you to take half of the major holidays, so no one person took all the good days.

I am currently at a "first to request, first to get" place but it doesn't matter to me anymore since my child is grown. But there is definitely some smugness among the holiday hoarders.

doorstopper123 · 02/07/2023 14:30

My work is the same so we discuss and compromise

Xmas usually means we do a day each between xmas and NY

Same with Easter

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 02/07/2023 14:31

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 13:59

No I think you don’t understand, for xmas everyone wants that week off, as it’s actual xmas week? Between xmas and new year, the bit where you do stuff!

Easter it’s the whole holiday.

August it’s the last two weeks, every single year. She has said that always has been her summer holiday period going forward. I guess she’s raised it because it’s my first august having to deal with school summer holidays.

xmas: just ask to put a rota in place, she can have this year off and you next year.

TragicMuse · 02/07/2023 14:32

Readyplayerthr33 · 02/07/2023 12:04

Why didn’t you put in for the dates you wanted when holiday booking opened for this tax year?

My employer's leave year doesn't follow tax year. Neither has the leave year of my last 2 employers, which covers a span of 17 years.

It's not always as you experience it...

pinklama · 02/07/2023 14:32

Dickish behaviour like this from a manager usually hides a host of other toxic traits. I had one who would allow himself and his clingy sidekick Christmas off each year with zero discussion with the team (think 4-5 years running). If I submitted dates for time off (no special time) it had to go before the rest of the team to check no one else wanted those dates off. If someone suddenly did (even if they had not requested them) it had to be a discussion (even if we could both be off at the same time).

SweetSakura · 02/07/2023 14:32

I think peak times for leave should always be coordinated and discussed so everyone gets a fair share.

LadinLee · 02/07/2023 14:33

In the nicest way Op I think you've been a bit naive here, did you think because you both had DC you'd work dates out between you so it was fair?

Yes, many places where it's a very small team of only 2 or 3 who cover for each other do actually discuss in advance.
I'm nhs and we have to state who is covering for us when we put our leave request in.

Anyport · 02/07/2023 14:34

Your boss is a selfish bitch, sort out a strategy to deal with it.

Tina221 · 02/07/2023 14:34

Notusuallystressedatwork · 02/07/2023 12:41

I think YABU - you’ve put it across as if she is taking every single day of school holidays. She isn’t. She’s simply booked some of it. Summer holidays are 6 weeks - she is taking 2 weeks.

She’s already booked the Christmas week - this definitely is ‘first to book’ so if you knew you wanted it, by now in July you really should have submitted that request.

And she has booked Easter.

There are half terms in February and October as well as god knows how many inset days and bank holidays

I have both primary and secondary school age children and yes those secondary school children do too only get to go on holiday in school holidays - the fact you have primary age children is absolutely no different to her own situation

Book your holidays first then next year - and chalk this up as experience

I agree.

There’s enough holidays left to work with.

MumblesParty · 02/07/2023 14:34

OP ignore everyone who’s saying you should have got in there earlier. Nasty selfish “I’m alright Jack” people. The fact is, when you have to cover each other, and you both have school age kids, you have to be civilised about it.

I’ve worked for 25 years in an environment where several people cover each other and over the years we’ve all had phases with school age kids. Twice a year we sit down with a big calendar and work out the holidays. It’s not rocket science. It’s basic manners and consideration of others.

Your colleague is selfish and it says a lot about her that she’s ignored your suggestions to discuss it, and has gone behind your back to management.

ISpyNoPlumPie · 02/07/2023 14:37

Everywhere I've ever worked annual leave is not 1st come, 1st served. It has to be agreed. All the posters stating that - seriously you can just get your leave request in first and have Christmas off every year?? Nice for you.

The summer holidays are not a big deal - 6 weeks, she has 2, you can work around that. At Christmas, it's a two week holiday, you could have the week before off (IMO, the before bit is nicer anyway). At Easter, I think there should be a better compromise as you worked last year. Either a week each or you have both as you worked it last year. There needs to be a fair leave policy - does the exist or could you discuss this with anyone?

whowhatwerewhy · 02/07/2023 14:38

I think August is reasonable, I would however say you need Christmas on a rota basis. If Easter is important to you have that on rota too or one week each

GrumpyPanda · 02/07/2023 14:46

Sickofthissheeet · 02/07/2023 13:51

I worked over Easter and also worked over Xmas and new year. The year before she said she had to have it off because she had to work the year before when I was on maternity leave.

Show quote history

So in other words, she's now hogging the major holidays the third year in a row? Oh that's bad, and you'd be fully justified in raising a stink about it, especially if your workplace doesn't have a first come, first served rule. Either split up both holidays or one gets Easter the other Christmas, and alternate year to year. Either way stand firm it's your turn now.

Tulipvase · 02/07/2023 14:55

I’m glad I don’t work in a lot of the places mentioned here. The holidays aren’t an issue for me but my husband works in local government and for popular holidays such as Easter and Christmas they have to put in a request for the dates they want and then management divvy it up depending on cover. Other dates are fair game.

In my old job with a small team we just worked it out between ourselves.

If there are only 2 people and someone is always needed to cover, I don’t think first come first served works. For Christmas/Easter etc, the time needs to be split up fairly. Of course there maybe be exceptional circumstances sometimes.