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Original poster

Being called sexists

53 replies

Sleepysailor · 23/04/2023 10:25

Just back from work trip, I'm the manager and two of my team. Our accomodation gets booked by separate department and due to the lack of spaces we got separated and put in two different places. I was asked for opinion when it was being booked and said 'just put the girls together'. Now one of the team commented on how this was sexists and they are not happy. I don't have time for all this drama. How would you react?

OP posts:
Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 10:27

So two women in one
one man in the other

sounds a reasonable judgment call to have been made. Say that. And make clear matter closed

Guineasrule · 23/04/2023 10:29

I wouldn't. Let them try and put together a proper statement on this. Standard practice to put female members of staff together and males in another group. If they continue ask them how they would have handled it.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 23/04/2023 10:31

"I made a judgement call to separate the group by sex. You're right, I should have said 'women' not 'girls'."

Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 10:33

Are you the man in this scenario op?

NBLarsen · 23/04/2023 10:33

You shouldn't refer to grown adults as girls. Women is fine. Otherwise I don't see an issues with the choice to put the other two together.

tribpot · 23/04/2023 10:35

Yes, isn't it the term 'girls' that is the subject of the complaint, rather than the choice of who went in which accommodation?

Dithyramb · 23/04/2023 10:36

DisplayPurposesOnly · 23/04/2023 10:31

"I made a judgement call to separate the group by sex. You're right, I should have said 'women' not 'girls'."

This.

multivac · 23/04/2023 10:37

yes, referring to grown women as girls is sexist. You should apolodise. HTH.

multivac · 23/04/2023 10:38

'apologise'

Original poster
Sleepysailor · 23/04/2023 10:39

I'm not the man and we term girls/boys if often used in the company. Perhaps incorrectly ... I made it clear that it was my decision and that decision had to be made.

OP posts:
multivac · 23/04/2023 10:39

Referring to a legitimate complaint about sexist language as 'drama' that is not worthy of your valuable time is also sexist, btw - regardless of what sex you are yourself.

Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 10:40

Sleepysailor · 23/04/2023 10:39

I'm not the man and we term girls/boys if often used in the company. Perhaps incorrectly ... I made it clear that it was my decision and that decision had to be made.

So it was you and another female

man in another room

and the female you shared with says you were being sexist

correct?

Original poster
Sleepysailor · 23/04/2023 10:42

Funnily enough it's the man who says it was sexists. Me and another female stayed together.

OP posts:
BranchGold · 23/04/2023 10:42

Was there any difference in the accommodation on offer? One being a ‘nicer’ hotel, or the hotel where the actual meeting was taking place? Closer to the venue? Etc

Original poster
Sleepysailor · 23/04/2023 10:44

No difference in standard. His was more expensive but about 2 minutes further away from the venue.

OP posts:
tribpot · 23/04/2023 10:45

So what is the basis for his complaint? How does he feel he was discriminated against? Has he put in an official complaint with HR?

BranchGold · 23/04/2023 10:46

I think I’d ask that the person write up their complaint in full and then go from there with reviewing it.

Itwasnaeme · 23/04/2023 10:46

Totally normal. Or was he really commenting on use of "girls"?

Itwasnaeme · 23/04/2023 10:46

(Which I would doubt, as it's so common)

Brefugee · 23/04/2023 10:47

I won't share a room when travelling for work. And i would seriously object to being called a girl, even if every other woman in the company was fine with that.

Poor show all round

Dogsitterwoes · 23/04/2023 10:50

It essentially makes no difference then, and itt was inevitable there would be a pair and a single. However, he feels that it was wrong to choose who was where by sex, and to be fair there isn't a logical reason to do it that way. I'd have put the two of them in the nearest hotel and as Manager taken the one a little further away, so treated them the same. Or even flipped a coin. I do think he has a bit of a point, he was selected to be on his own because of his sex.

FrippEnos · 23/04/2023 10:51

If he was put in accommodation further away, I can see why he would be annoyed.

MojoJojo71 · 23/04/2023 10:51

Did you ask the other woman (not girl) if she was happy to share? I would not like to share a room with my manager on a work trip. Why should a man get his own room and the woman not? I think he’s right, you don’t have to be the victim of sexism to call it out.

Dogsitterwoes · 23/04/2023 10:56

I don't think they shared a room, just that the two women were at the same hotel, and the man in a different hotel.

Beetrootlover82 · 23/04/2023 10:57

For your team’s sake OP I hope you’re not as unclear and ambiguous in RL as you are as a mumsnet poster