Looking for a network of lawyer mums juggling things

[VictoriaMum323]

Hello, I so very often have little things to bounce off other mums who understand what the legal industry can be like, is there such a network as this in the UK (or ideally for London)? When I say network : it can be something like a Fb group or one that meets in person. Many thanks.

None that I've heard of but that would be amazing! I've just gone back to fee earning after a long break (my second child has just turned 1). Sadly I'm north west based not London How old are your children? Are you full time?

Hello, I hope your return to work has gone smoothly. I am working full time yes, the children are 5 and 1. I have been considering career break / part time etc etc. the list goes on! I am in banking. very happy in the role but certainly a juggle. Which field are you in?

I feel like if I take a career break, I just won’t pick back up again where I left off (which may be fine but is something to consider). As for part time I am concerned it’s going to be a full time job stuffed into 3 days / getting paid less to do a full time job…

I’m not a lawyer but in a demanding professional services role. I worked part time for about 8 years and it has affected my career progression. I see colleagues who I trained with making partner and it makes me sad but there are obviously trade offs for every choice I.e. career break vs part time vs full time. Do you have a nanny?

It took me about 2 years after returning to get my knowledge back up to speed.

The career break has definitely affected me. I'm 11 PQE on paper but only about 6 in reality. I'm in litigation. Lots has changed in 5 years so I feel like a NQ again. It was what I needed to do at the time though and actually it wasn't too hard to find a job again. I work 4 days and I do my best to keep my day off sacred, but yes the reality is I spend the day off like it's the day before annual leave and the day after fighting fires! I'll go back full time once my youngest is in school.

Hi Victoria,

What a great idea. I have got a bit sick of being employed for a number of reasons and looking to freelance, but do worry about lack of contact with other legal folk re bouncing ideas etc

Thanks for this input, so nice to bounce things off mums who get what it can be like.

re the career break affecting us : I guess maybe it’s better to stay in (at least part time) than to move out completely. Helps for keeping up knowledge as well as confidence?

is it common for lawyers in london to leave the office, deal with the kids and then log back on again? As in, completely normal or is it regarded as special treatment we are lucky to have?

I am relocating back to uk after some time abroad. My kids’ schools are likely to be a bit far away so it’s going to be a right slog to drop them off and then get to the office in london

@Somersetgirl1 would you fancy doing an Axiom type model? Seems to be a decent option but I guess you’d sort of be employed still but at least it’s for a set period only.

@Ihatebloodycocomelon thank you for this interesting perspective. I am 7 PQE now and my confidence is good in that I feel like I know what I am doing and can advise comfortably. However I am definitely wobbling re the decision to take some time out as we are relocating and I need to settle the kids into life in london.

I am also slightly concerned that if I am the one not working when we get back to uk then I will become the default housekeeper ;) I would like to ensure that DH chips in for housework 50% which is more likely to be the case if I am working straight away when we arrive!

@CaterpillarShark thanks for this, very good to know. Just to clarify : you say it took 2 years to get your knowledge up to speed, did you take time out completely or you felt your knowledge went down because you were part time? Thanks!

I took a less demanding, non client facing role to enable me to work 2 days a week. Once I went back to a client facing role, it took about 2 years to feel fully up to speed and comfortable.

@CaterpillarShark noted thanks, this is very helpful.

Well I have in my past done a fair bit of locum work. I find that now at 55 yrs perm work will make all sorts of promises, but the reality is that I get given all the unprofitable shit from Juniors (who will keep the billable stuff - but the firm expect me to have a revolving door for them to ask for help on every tiny thing).
I suspect it is an age thing - as I don't have young kids and got shot of OH I obviously don't have anything better to do with my time than work!!!!!!! I am private client so have looked at things like Setfords or just freelance and I have been going through the SRA requirements. My area lends itself to me popping round to peoples houses for instructions etc. Axiom tend to look very city-ish to me and after locum work I want to go to my own bed each night!!!! Have you looked at any models you think would suit? Also I take it schools are London , so are you tied to being in London or can you be outside the capital?

I'd look to buy in morning/evening school run and homework help so you're getting more quality time than commute. In fact I'd buy in whatever I could afford in terms of cleaner, shopping, Cook meals etc.

I am 13 years PQE and my children are a bit older now (9 & 15) but I would have really appreciated a thread/support group like this through the early years! I qualified late and had my first during my training contract. I was in private practice but now in government legal services (in another Commonwealth country) and honestly it has saved my sanity. I love being a lawyer but combining it with raising children is supremely difficult!

Another one popping in to wave. Around 10 PQE, 2 kids (2 and 4). I work in a big London firm, in an advisory team. It’s tough I’m not going to lie. I stayed working full time because I hadn’t seen anyone make part time actually work for them - same hours, less pay, less career progression and firms granted permission to discriminate against you. I’m pretty stubborn though! I have a nanny, a cleaner and outsource absolute everything I can.

I never miss bed time- it’s my non negotiable. I log on later after bedtime.

@BumbleNova this exactly. And I am the sort of person who worries a bit too much about what I’ve sent out or am about to send out so if I do part time I will end up working FT for less pay!

how common is it to hire in someone to do the school runs? Is it going to cost me an arm and a leg (basically it’s a nanny with a drivers licence right)

I am so often met with (by non-lawyers) comments like ‘’your kids are only young for a short time/ why have wrap around care’’ etc etc but I feel like I have gone through SO much sh*t to get to where I am including years paralegalling for peanuts and it would be a great shame to take time out and then find myself struggling to get back in again

Hello 👋

I am in-house now, so both lawyer and client! It is pretty flexible, but incredibly busy.

Very common in my experience for people to log-off to sort out kids and then carry on in the evenings. This seems like a good thing but you can end up with no evening and working until really late. If you are then up early with little ones then you can find yourself trying to operate on very little sleep!

Good luck with your move back to the UK! Have you got a target firm you would like to approach?

Partner here, mine is teenage now. We've just hired someone who's coming back from a career break. She's 11y pqe but only 5 years in practice.

Thanks @AshGirl this is actually what I do now, whilst in my current role. I never get an evening and always work late. Looks like I have the same future ahead of me in london as there will be even less time in the day in light of less domestic help.

I am in-house now too, looking for a similar role in-house banking

@VictoriaMum323 totally common! Not easy to find... But depending on what school/ what time they finish you may need a few hours wrap around. What does your DH do?
Don't make the mistake of this being your sole problem to solve/ pay for. It's not your job - it's also your DH's. My DH steps up and does his fair share.
Also WFH - I do as much as I can get away with and it makes such a difference. It's not rocket science - you can do more billable hours.

Hello, another one here 👋 I'm almost 6 years PQE with a just turned 5 year old and almost 3 year old. In litigation at the moment, but leaving shortly and going in house to a completely different practice area.
I'm based in the Midlands though, not London.

Ten year qualified lawyer here, one four year old and one coming up to one. Would love to join! I moved to a regulatory role before having children and I love it! All the law, no ridiculous clients (‘can we just complete before my holiday in two days time?’) and the hours are decent. Salary is a compromise though. Basically earn less now then when I stopped fee earning, especially with interest.

I used to be a banking lawyer OP, qualified at a MC firm. Total respect to you for being able to juggle that!

I work in a big law firm in London in a transactional team, and it is super common for the associates in my team who have children to leave at around 5, do the nursery pick up, then log back on from home.

Teams obviously differ but post-COVID this has definitely become easier.