Looking for a network of lawyer mums juggling things

[VictoriaMum323]

Hello, I so very often have little things to bounce off other mums who understand what the legal industry can be like, is there such a network as this in the UK (or ideally for London)? When I say network : it can be something like a Fb group or one that meets in person. Many thanks.

Commute approx 45 mins (although we are thinking of moving to somewhere where it would be 1hr20 - trying to work out if that’s achievable). My boy goes to nursery full time - 07.30 - 6.30pm. I am usually hammering on the door at 7.29, and hubby picks up at last moment. I think if we moved I’d have to get a nanny.

No professional services firm.

So far they've been better with a big focus on flexible working which is an improvement. I'll come back and report in a few weeks. It's still very early days.

I can't tell if I like yet or whether I'm just a bit unsure because it's new.

I am 13 years PQE and considered a senior lawyer in my current job but I'm not sure if that's senior enough? in my view it pays off in the long run to stay full time. Part time gets viewed as "mummy track" and you may not get the more interesting and lucrative work as a result. Also your pay, benefits, pension suffer and you may feel your husband staying full time makes up for it but you never know. I got divorced a few years ago and was very glad I had built up my assets and career in the preceding years. You also gain a lot more experience working full time which counts in terms of the work you get and your opportunities for advancement. Better to get help such as a nanny or au pair and reap the benefits. But I also really enjoy my work and never wanted to be a SAHM. Many women do though and they will prefer more time spent there and with their kids.

@asquideatingdough thanks very much for this insight, it’s very helpful. I need to consider weighing up the costs of childcare (and paying a massive chunk of my salary to a nanny) vs long term benefits.

I stayed full time (apart from mat leave). I was offered partnership at a new firm while I was on mat leave and didn't feel I could do that part time.

I think part time can be viewed as the "mummy track" where you miss out on partnership and end up becoming a psl (which is fine if that is what you want but less so if you do it because you feel other options aren't open to you) or give up on law firms and their lack of support for women and move in house. It depends on the firm though. I can think of some where in recent years quite a few men have gone part time when they have small children and that has changed the perception somewhat🙄

We've always used nannies - first our own nanny and since our daughter started school a nanny share with another local family.

I’m not a lawyer but work in transactions in a big 4 firm. I have three children, husband works full time in a similar role and it’s hard but not impossible.
the client expectations is availability 24/7 - literally a phone call at 1am on a Sunday is considered reasonable. The main challenge I have is my non working day. I have a preschool age child who goes to school soon and I’m determined to make the most of the handful of days we have left.
My working days are long, I have a long commute so leave before 6 and home at 8. If I’m working from home I break from 5-9pm for the kids which can also be hard if someone requests a call. I’m often working until midnight then.
but I like the work and the kids will get older so I think I can hang on until things become easier. I am going to try to build a good team around me and over time focus on uk work so there aren’t as many time difference issues too. That is the plan anyway.

It depends on the environment - private practice I can't see it working without becoming mummy-tracked but I've done it in house and I think the mat leaves were a bigger issue (in terms of slowing development) than my years working a four day week. I'v been promoted while working PT and now have my own small team/am a trusted senior member of the department with the ear of various of the SMT and get involved in quite a few interesting projects. That said, I have had bolted on child care so I am on it for the 4 days - and my H does his fair share. I will work my day off (and take it another time) when business needs require. I am fairly picky about this and discourage any expectation that I will pick up emails and calls on my day off except if it suits me or is a real emergency but it's built up a lot of good will when they know I won't just waltz off and leave them to it.

I also had Mondays off (on the basis that no one has a crisis on a Monday) rathe than Fridays and eg move my day off around to bolt it on to my holiday to give better support running up to my leave. With a Monday off, by the time that my businesses have done internal pipeline meetings and caught up on their own priorities, it's lunchtime so they know it's only half a day til they can get my full attention. I also tend to start early on Tuesday so by 9.30/10 I am generally caught up.

But I had a good relationship/reputation with my manager and businesses before I started PT which definitely helped - I think it's harder to join somewhere new and be part time if there isn't a positive culture around it already.

Thanks a lot for this input - it really does help with my planning! Re mat leaves : the mat leave in Asia is a bit shit so I haven’t been out long for each child. I always saw short mat leaves as a bad thing but can see it may have had some advantages in terms of keeping my foot in.

I can also see that the reality is that a nanny is the only way to get the flexibility to get the job done - as a lawyer it’s so hard if you absolutely have to leave work to be at pick up by X time.

Lots to think about. Thanks again.

@FreeButtonBee interesting and smart move to take Mondays off, agreed that Friday is in practice a crazier day but there’s an assumption that everyone has to be hands on deck on a Monday

I think a lot depends on what you want your life to look like e.g. is that private practice lawyer ft with a nanny pushing for partnership, is it a four day week private practise lawyer accepting partnership may take longer or PSL etc.

I don't mean this negatively but I don't think you can have it all - e.g. you can't be a ft mum and a ft lawyer. Choices have to be made even if they re only temporary choices and those choices have consequences 🙈

Hello - I know this thread is from earlier this year but I am currently finding myself in a similar position and came to this site to find the same. Did you come across any groups or meet ups at all? If not, shall we create/arrange one?! - I am Surrey based but work in London. I'm 5 years PQE with a 1 year old (almost 2) and have found returning to full time work as in-house counsel really tough... not getting the support I feel I need from management/employer to get my confidence back up, mum guilt of not seeing my daughter enough etc. etc. you know the feeling. Really feeling this isn't sustainable so trying to research alternative working set ups such as part-time (although current employer not offering and search results for part-time legal counsel roles seem almost non-existent), freelance, Axiom etc. Would love to chat to some of you to see where you're at too and bounce some thoughts off. Thanks xx

Hi @charlotteek Don't be fooled by the ft only inhouse roles as you can always ask for pt or flexi. I have been working inhouse (in a law firm OGC) for 12 years, after a long time fee earning. I am also a hiring manager, I recently advertised for a ft lawyer to join my team but would happily have considered pt if candidates had asked me. Budgets and internal recruitment processes dictated ft is the norm, but I also wanted to ringfence budget to pay ft so had to advertise it in that way. If you see something of interest, make the application and make enquiries. Good luck!

I'd say you ought to look a professional services in general, there's are many groups on LinkedIn

There's the Association of Women Solicitors https://www.awslondon.co.uk

Also an Association of Women Barristers and an Association of Women Judges, although it looks like there are more solicitors on this thread.

@charlotteek hello, thanks for your message. I never did end up managing to find a group for this but keen to connect. I am actually now doing an axiom type role (but with a different provider) and it’s going well! Certainly a juggle with small children at home. Welcome to pm me.

I am applying for perm roles at the relevant place I am working but not even sure I want a perm role as the contracting has some benefits, eg I am considering attending cordon bleu for a month after my contract for my legal role ends and then getting back to lawyering!! I think there is some nervousness re consulting as it’s not like a tap and there is not necessarily work when we want it but overall it’s good. Happy to chat more and happy new year!

Hi I'm an employment lawyer and looking to freelance / consulting soon. Taking the plunge after many years working with the same people. I really like most of them but I am just a bit over all the stuff required at a big London firm. Hoping to have more time with family. Good to connect with everyone on this chat ! X