Pronouns in Email Signatures

[Petal34]

Hello,

I just wanted to start off by saying I know this is a bit of a contentious topic so I do not want to have a debate about wider gender issues and what people do or do not agree with etc. I am fully supportive of anyone however they wish to identify.

My question is, at work we have been asked to include our pronouns on our email signature. At first I thought it was a no brainer but having sat with it a little while I’m not sure it’s something which should be compulsory. I read lots of points of view from people who are trans and non-binary on the subject and although mainly positive, it does seem a little split on whether it’s a helpful or not.
On the plus side, personally I have found it really helpful to know which pronouns to use, even just in cases where you’re talking to someone over email and they have a gender neutral name, but also in cases where the person is trans or non-binary. Some other positive aspects people reported were that seeing others include their pronouns made them feel like ‘yeah this person gets it’, and they felt safe and understood.

The negative I came across is making something like this compulsory could force someone to ‘out’ themselves before they’re ready or still processing for themselves. Not everyone is comfortable to explore this in a work environment. I’m not sure it’s right to force people to pick a gender if that’s not what’s right for them either.

My other personal hesitation to do it is perhaps a little irrational, but I get really frustrated by being defined or treated differently because of my gender. As a lot of women do, there have been a lot of instances where I’ve been treated differently or not taken seriously because of my gender. I know I am a woman but it’s only one part of my identity and I would rather not have it as part of my email signature. It’s not a major issue but I don’t feel like my gender is what defines me as a person.

But then it does get a bit awkward as I work for a small business and I think most people will adopt it and it would make it look like I am making some sort of statement.

I would be really interested to know what policies people have in place at work. Personally I think it should be optional, and to ensure that the gender and inclusion policies at work are embedded in the culture.

It should be a choice.

It is optional. No chance in hell for me. There a good article explaining why it's damaging for women, I'll try and find it.

If your name is a clear indication of your sex, like "Jane", then no need for pronouns. If your name is "Moon Unit" then a pronoun indication would probably be handy.

Human beings only have two sexes, female and male.
She and he.
I think that makes it much easier for everyone.

I'd forget". They can't force you. Since the Forstater case, not believing in that regressive bullshit is a protected "belief".
Our place tried it just before the Forstater ruling came out, someone in our legal department spotted it and we had an all-staff email saying "it's entirely up to you". They knew they'd put themselves in legal jeopardy if they imposed it.

Ask your employer if there are any other protected characteristics, such as maternity, age, disability and ethnicity they want you to publicly disclose.

If not, why just sex based pronouns?

My name is not gender neutral in my country but in the West people don't know my sex from reading it. So I have no desire to out myself as a woman. We're already up against it.

Also, do have a read of Sex Matters. Some useful stuff on pronouns from the other side.

I just wouldn't do it. Quite apart from the fact that I would refuse to join in with bullshit wokery, it is obvious from my name that I am a woman.

I don't feel "safe" working with people who don't believe that sex is immutable.

Actually, even if your name were Moon Unit, why would anyone need to know whether you are male or female if they are emailing you?

Not a chance from me.
The reason you’ve given about them having a neutral name like Chris and therefore need to know their sex when corresponding via email is not correct. If you are emailing someone, you would use their name or ‘you / your’ throughout. You’d say things like ‘can I leave you to contact X’, or ‘thanks Chris, that’s very helpful’.

I've refused. It's not compulsory but it's recommended. I am a woman, I have a woman's name and I look and sound like a woman. No one has ever guessed wrong. If it is made compulsory (which it won't be as I'm a civil servant) I will write as my pronoun- "my name's Sophia so just give it your best guess."

I deliberately just put my initial on my email signature as not to disclose my gender in initial communications because it is my personal information. I would not like having to state it. I refuse to use Miss/Ms/Mrs as well. All my comms are my initial, I hate that as a woman you have to disclose marital status too.

It’s optional in my place, thankfully. I won’t be doing it and if asked why I’ll just say it’s a practice I feel uncomfortable with and leave it there.

Exactly. My name is very gender neutral, actually more commonly male (similar to a woman called Chris). I've never had an issue other than the occasional giggle from me when someone had been emailing me for weeks and we met and they'd assumed I was a man. I wonder if it's actually done me a favour to be honest as we all know men are often taken more seriously than women.

That’s an interesting point. In my mind, the whole equality thing to date has basically been to not be treated any worse by being female ie men and women treated equally with neither sex benefitting from their sex. At work, it genuinely should not matter what sex anyone is. All that matters is “are they competent?”. GI highlights differences and demand preferential treatment. It’s not “equality”. If it were, then no-one would mention it and everyone would just get on with things as someone’s sexuality is absolutely none of anyone else’s business. GI is effectively telling everyone what your sexuality is and I don’t need to know. It’s not about inner feelings or not being constrained by patriarchal norms, it boils down to who you want to fuck and what you want to look like when you do it and that doesn’t need to appear in an email signature!

Drawing attention to the fact you’re a woman has been shown again and again to disadvantage women. Don’t do it.

What happens if your ‘pronouns’ ( by which of course is actually meant your sex or sexual preferences) change? If someone decides that they are now ‘non binary’ or indeed if they decide they are not any more…..or like the person who declares they are a ‘woman’ on alternate days of the working week ( this is not a joke, I believe he/ she is a lawyer working in an office). Do you get a memo reminding you? Who cares , anyway? I tend to believe, only those with an axe to grind.

Its just another layer of complication in a circumstance which doesn’t need it. @Soontobe60 has expressed the solution perfectly.

It should be optional

I used to work for a very woke civil service department and we had some staff from the lgbt staff group trying to make it compulsory but senior staff refused and kept it encouraged but optional. Probably about 30 percent were doing it by the time I left.

Reasons for and against were pretty much as you had said. I think someone also provided evidence from a scientific study (probably available on here) that women are treated worse by others and also have a lower self perception when reminded of their sex -which seeing "she/her" etc on every single email you send or on your badge would obviously do!

There is also an entry, a few years old now, on the American blog "ask a manager" which is usually incredibly trans positive but even she came down on the side of making it optional- the letter writer was as you refer to, someone who was questioning their gender identify but didn't want to feel pushed into either "coming out" to their entire company at that stage or "misgendering" themselves. So even the wokest of the woke accept there can be some issues with it.

There were a few moves at my work to ask people to include pronouns in their email signature but I'd say it has mostly died a death (I work for the biggest public sector company in London, big hint). I have "misgendered" a colleague on the phone (MTF) but I apologised and they said fine and we moved on. Its woke workforce, don't get me wrong, and if I came out as a TERF I'd be "re-educated" but the pronouns trend failed to ignite in a big way.

Not doing it either.

There will be some non-binary (or others) who aren't keen either, some people don't want to be 'outed' just because of email signatures.
So it's a no from me

I object to it and refuse to do it because I have close friends who identify as genders other than the one on their birth cert.

All of them find the pronoun thing, which is meant to be for their benefit, to be very problematic - they don't want to have to out themselves for a stupid work initiative.

If it's not benefitting the people it's allegedly for then it shouldn't happen imo. But hopefully all cis gender people where I work feel good for their "good deeds"! See also: "being an ally" and putting that on your email signature. Utter nonsense.

We have it at my work but it’s optional.

They put it into our signature template, I (and roughly 75% of the rest of workforce from my unscientific count) just deleted that bit and carried on. No one has said anything so far.

Exactly this!!