Pronouns in Email Signatures

[Petal34]

Hello,

I just wanted to start off by saying I know this is a bit of a contentious topic so I do not want to have a debate about wider gender issues and what people do or do not agree with etc. I am fully supportive of anyone however they wish to identify.

My question is, at work we have been asked to include our pronouns on our email signature. At first I thought it was a no brainer but having sat with it a little while I’m not sure it’s something which should be compulsory. I read lots of points of view from people who are trans and non-binary on the subject and although mainly positive, it does seem a little split on whether it’s a helpful or not.
On the plus side, personally I have found it really helpful to know which pronouns to use, even just in cases where you’re talking to someone over email and they have a gender neutral name, but also in cases where the person is trans or non-binary. Some other positive aspects people reported were that seeing others include their pronouns made them feel like ‘yeah this person gets it’, and they felt safe and understood.

The negative I came across is making something like this compulsory could force someone to ‘out’ themselves before they’re ready or still processing for themselves. Not everyone is comfortable to explore this in a work environment. I’m not sure it’s right to force people to pick a gender if that’s not what’s right for them either.

My other personal hesitation to do it is perhaps a little irrational, but I get really frustrated by being defined or treated differently because of my gender. As a lot of women do, there have been a lot of instances where I’ve been treated differently or not taken seriously because of my gender. I know I am a woman but it’s only one part of my identity and I would rather not have it as part of my email signature. It’s not a major issue but I don’t feel like my gender is what defines me as a person.

But then it does get a bit awkward as I work for a small business and I think most people will adopt it and it would make it look like I am making some sort of statement.

I would be really interested to know what policies people have in place at work. Personally I think it should be optional, and to ensure that the gender and inclusion policies at work are embedded in the culture.

Another saying it should be optional.

If it's to help people feel accepted and seen in the work place, why aren't we encouraging people to declare their sexuality? Especially if they're homosexual? That would make others feel more comfortable 'coming out' surely?

Eh?
Surely, gay men and lesbians keep to the pronouns which describe their sex - male/female. The same sex in which they were born.

Why do people need to know your sex? I once had a successful ongoing professional relationship with a person (in another country, with a unisex name) for over a year and never found out if this person was male or female. It really wasn’t a problem, I addressed emails to them by their first name. The person’s sex was completely irrelevant to the work.

I also think it’s slightly rude to tell people what pronouns they should be using about you. It feels a bit officious. If they ever meet you surely they can use their common sense?

You don't need to know someone's pronouns to email them. I will refuse to if asked to. It does mean I can tell the people who are captured though if they have theirs in an email signature, handy little flag.

@SmartHome I feel this is coming down the line in my work place and I feel that drawing attention to being a woman (even though I have a female firstname) is disadvantageous. But studies to support this rather than opinion pieces would be great if you have come across them.

hate that as a woman you have to disclose marital status too.

Don't HAVE to. Have option to.

A pp mentioned an article earlier - I think this is the one being referred to. It's by Mumsnet's own Barraker -

fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/

This is an interesting article about a man's experience when he realised that he was accidently sending emails with his female colleague's signature -

people.com/human-interest/man-discovers-his-invisible-advantage-at-work-after-he-switches-email-signatures-with-a-female-colleague/

And for those who say 'what's the harm?', the Scottish Government have made it clear that proclamations of pronouns are not a choice - www.holyrood.com/news/view,majority-of-scottish-government-civil-servants-say-theyll-never-add-pronouns-to-their-email-signatures

And as pp have mentioned, Why are we being compelled to reveal this protected characteristics, to our own detriment?

It's in our template, not a chance I am doing it. Hardly anyone has that I have any interaction with and it's a huge organisation.

Sure it is not optional, it was very much if you want to here is the format to use where I work. I ignored it and just encourage people to use my name.

'Moon unit'🤣

I’d NEVER put pronouns in my email signature. I don’t think of myself as a She/Her (I’m an I/Me and wish to be referred to as You/Your by others because I’d rather not be talked about behind my back). But the truth is I’m a She/Her because as the old saying goes, my pronouns are sex-based, like my oppression.

She/Her is cringeworthy because it makes me think “Who’s she? The cat’s mother?” And why would I want to emphasise my femaleness when everyone knows it can be a disadvantage in the workplace. Even the most right-on workplaces can’t fully eradicate unconscious bias.

So… no, I’d never put pronouns in an email signature, it’s pure virtue signalling (I’m such a good ally, me!) and I’m not even sure if trans and NB people appreciate it anyway.

One woman from a very Stonewall-friendly organisation had an interesting signature. It said She/Her (Gender Non-Conforming). Was she being a little bit gender critical there, I wonder?

Not quite what you're looking for but there's a concept of 'stereotype threat' where, as a for instance for this discussion, if a woman is reminded of stereotypes such as 'women are bad at maths' or 'women are bad at football', then they do less well in tests/doing that activity than if they were not reminded of these stereotypes -

www.npr.org/2010/04/12/125859207/whistling-vivaldi-and-beating-stereotypes

www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01963/full

Yes, this is a bollocks argument. I never feel the need to refer to someone's sex when in an email conversation with them.
OP's not been back. Pity.

In my job it really helps. I get referred to as a male all the time because my name is male abroad. Now I don’t have to correct anyone.

I can understand some people wanting to add pronouns for this reason, but equally I've been referred to as male by colleagues abroad before and I don't care.

No chance, my name is clearly female but aside from this it's irrelevant.

@Katieandthekids - no really! The late great Frank Zappa called his son Moon Unit which I actually think is the coolest name EVER!

Very appropriate for the thread topic - in fact Moon Unit is female. You may be thinking of Dweezil!

I have Mrs Mammyloveswine for my email signature so why I'd then need (she/her) pronouns I have no idea!

We were asked to do it. Almost no-one has.

Every now and then a 'how to be a trans ally' piece will pop up on the staff Intranet and mention it but it doesn't make any difference that I can see.

All the people who you would expect to comply have and everyone else has ignored.

You've misunderstood
@FoolsOld point is, if the argument for including pronouns is because it helps people feel accepted and seen in the workplace, then why don't we encourage people to list all their protected characteristics (for example sexual orientation). Not drawing any specific link BETWEEN sexuality and gender ID.

e.g. if we want everyone to feel accepted and comfortable 'bringing their full self to work' (which is one of the arguments used), then we should include any/all aspects of our self identify in email signatures e.g.

Jane Smith
(she/her, bisexual, Black, Jewish, divorced, mother, overweight, English as a secondary language, smoker, autistic)

If that sounds ridiculous/inappropriate then the argument is why is gender ID the only element to be included when others can be as/more relevant to one's self identity?

@tribpot You're totally right!!! It's still a cool name though. I wish I was called Moon Unit.

Optional. Always. Even where someone has a gender neutral name it doesn't need to matter.

I've dealt with an Ashley in another company on and off for years, only ever by email. Never known whether they are male or female and never needed to, it has no impact on the work we do together.