Pronouns in Email Signatures

[Petal34]

Hello,

I just wanted to start off by saying I know this is a bit of a contentious topic so I do not want to have a debate about wider gender issues and what people do or do not agree with etc. I am fully supportive of anyone however they wish to identify.

My question is, at work we have been asked to include our pronouns on our email signature. At first I thought it was a no brainer but having sat with it a little while I’m not sure it’s something which should be compulsory. I read lots of points of view from people who are trans and non-binary on the subject and although mainly positive, it does seem a little split on whether it’s a helpful or not.
On the plus side, personally I have found it really helpful to know which pronouns to use, even just in cases where you’re talking to someone over email and they have a gender neutral name, but also in cases where the person is trans or non-binary. Some other positive aspects people reported were that seeing others include their pronouns made them feel like ‘yeah this person gets it’, and they felt safe and understood.

The negative I came across is making something like this compulsory could force someone to ‘out’ themselves before they’re ready or still processing for themselves. Not everyone is comfortable to explore this in a work environment. I’m not sure it’s right to force people to pick a gender if that’s not what’s right for them either.

My other personal hesitation to do it is perhaps a little irrational, but I get really frustrated by being defined or treated differently because of my gender. As a lot of women do, there have been a lot of instances where I’ve been treated differently or not taken seriously because of my gender. I know I am a woman but it’s only one part of my identity and I would rather not have it as part of my email signature. It’s not a major issue but I don’t feel like my gender is what defines me as a person.

But then it does get a bit awkward as I work for a small business and I think most people will adopt it and it would make it look like I am making some sort of statement.

I would be really interested to know what policies people have in place at work. Personally I think it should be optional, and to ensure that the gender and inclusion policies at work are embedded in the culture.

I work with people in publishing, communicating generally by email, and all the pronouns people are she/her and, judging by their job titles, the younger/less senior cohort. I always think of the JK Rowling thing and the publisher saying 'We wouldn't get it past our younger staff.'
When I worked in-house in the industry, younger staff trying to throw their weight around would have been laughed out of the office.

Look up UN Yogyakarta Principles (principle 6) for an explanation of why it’s not a good idea to mandate sharing of pronouns/ gender identity.

It should be optional, I only use sex based language anyway and having someone dictate how I use 3rd person pronouns is just daft and don't put them in my signature. There is plenty of research that shows emails to/from women and emails to/from men get treated differently.

What I do find really helpful is having how to pronounce someone's name broken down in their email signature, which is useful if I need to phone them. I live in a very white British area so often I haven't come across the names of my national colleagues and working remotely means I don't hear their names said in passing.

Indeed. When I hear that younger staff are refusing to deal with a supplier/ author/ client etc. because they don't like their opinions, I wonder why they're not being disciplined and if they keep doing it, just sacked.

There are plenty of young people who don't feel entitled to veto who their employers deal with and would be perfectly competent and happy to do the job.

@storminamooncup if you don't want to put them in your signature don't, and if someone actually picks up on it just tell them you had read an article on how it was considered poor practice now as it means those who are struggling with their identity are forced to out themselves. You wont be part of it and then you can always lay it on thick about how surprised and disappointed you are the individual/company has taken this approach as you thought they were more inclusive. You can even throw in a passive aggressive head tilt whilst deflecting the issue away from yourself.

I have a name which is not gender neutral in its own language but that people seem to think is male. I often get MR TOp (my surname) in emails and I will always email back...

Thanks for your email. Can I just check you are sending this to the correct person as I am.not Mr Top. My name is Curly Top. I always get an apology and then they use my correct name. I don't see the need for Pronouns TBH.

It is not a legal requirement, so it doesn't matter what you've been asked to do, you can just choose not to and you cannot be harassed or discriminated against for not declaring your preferred pronouns.

there are many many people in my workplace that don't have their pronouns on their autosignature and nobody says anything. No manager would dare take issue about it, I certainly won't.

it's a personal choice, no ifs or buts or maybes about it. As long as you are respectful to everyone, bar none, then you are doing nothing wrong.

who = that

If I know that someone has preferred pronouns eg they/them, then I always use them. I also politely remind anyone who refers to the person using incorrect pronouns (because they weren't aware etc) to please remember this person likes to be know as they/them.

That's a must, I'd never disrespect anyone's stated preference. In fact that's my rationale, that I fully respect others' wishes and I would like others to respect mine.

that's what it should be about, but people have lost their way in this.

It's helpful as a bullshit filter. I distrust anyone who puts pronouns in their email signature.

We are in the midst of unprecedented global tensions and actually involved in proxy war with Putin, never mind the looming global economic recession, food crisis and climate change and the actual shameful poverty in the UK plus a inhumane, failing health care system but some privileged middle class white people want to feel special with their pronouns or being an ally.

I saw a greeting card at the supermarket yesterday saying 'congratulation on your new pronouns'. Quasi religious make belief consumerism. 💰

@MinistryOfChocolate definitely a bullshit filter. I have two good friends/work colleagues who do this. I say nothing and inwardly eye roll

A company where I often do contract work fired half its staff and hired them back as freelancers (don’t get me started).

On the permanent staff emails: he/him, she/her on every single one, with identical little explanation of how important and inclusive this is.

On the freelance emails: not a pronoun in sight any more.

So I tend to assume that pronoun signatures are imposed from above rather than the person’s own choice.

the pronoun debate between the two sides.

Hi! I'm a little late to the party here, but just wanted to help clarify something for you, @Lolapusht . Gender identity has absolutely nothing to do with a person's sexuality. The clue is in the names: gender identity relates to how a person identifies - male, female, and everything in-between. Sexuality relates to a person's sexual orientation, or as you so succinctly put it, "who you want to fuck". The two bear absolutely no relation to one another. :) I agree that the latter, in particular, doesn't need to appear in an email signature! 😉

unfortunately pronouns are now commonplace on LinkedIn because the sneaky fuckers added an optional field for it. Most people (unquestioningly I suspect) update that field when they join or edit their profile.

it’s actually handy to help know who not to do business with/ take seriously as it sorts those who are capable of free thinking from the ones that blindly follow a stupid trend in the name of “inclusion” when it’s anything but.

@JayJayEl i don’t need help clarifying anything. Thanks though. It may just be a semantic confusion, but you can’t identify as “female” or “male”. Those terms refer to someone’s sex which is unusable and cannot be changed. GI is absolutely linked to sexuality. Using your logic a man can be a lesbian or a woman can be gay which then leads to the ridiculous situation where actual lesbians are banned from dating apps because they don’t want to date transbians. If you are a TIM who wants to date lesbians then you need to understand that they are sexually attracted to females and that as a man you fall outwith their dating pool. When it comes to sexuality there’s 3…straight, bi and gay. Do you think you swap sexual orientation if you transition?

it’s actually handy to help know who not to do business with/ take seriously as it sorts those who are capable of free thinking from the ones that blindly follow a stupid trend in the name of “inclusion” when it’s anything but.

Absolutely agree with this. I recently signed up to do some vounteering, got through the application, interview etc. and needed to do my DBS check which takes a longer and more circuitous route than normal because I don't have a British passport. And because I'm very disorganised, I didn't get round to doing it, so someone chased me. She had pronouns in her e-mail signature and I jsut thought "oh fuck it, I don't want to be around that".

So I didn't pursue it. I've heard of a few cases now where people applying for jobs have been confronted with a list of genders they can tick and they just didn't bother to go beyond that page because who wants to work in that sort of toxic environment with arseholes who jump on the latest bandwagon without really thinking through the implications?

I think companies and organisations have no idea what damage they are doing to their brands and how many good candidates they may well be putting off applying to work with them, by visibly embracing this intolerant and nonsensical ideology.