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Original poster

Sicky and posting on social media

112 replies

foodiefil · 17/03/2023 23:43

I’m quite annoyed about something and wondering if there’s anything i can do.

colleague called in sick today. A few of us were asked to swap shifts which is how I know.

colleague then posted on Instagram several times - in a pub, eating drinking, in another pub, in the car on a trip out.

i raised this with a colleague who is more senior than me and they couldn’t say much but said it had been arranged with our boss, it was a sick day due to mental health.

i have a diagnosed mental health condition and I’ve needed time off in the past - no issues there.

but due to job stresses many of us are experiencing mental health issues (redundancy) and I’m wondering if we should all be able to take a day like this, a one that is paid, goes down as sickness but where we can go out and do what we like?

this isn’t company policy it’s a decision that’s been made at manager’s discretion to allow this employee to take today off but I don’t understand why we can’t all have a day like today, is this not treating people differently?

same roles same pay roughly etc.

OP posts:
HelloBunny · 17/03/2023 23:46

Bit ridiculous of the person to post their day out on Instagram. They can do what they want with the day, but be discreet about it, I think.

Original poster
foodiefil · 17/03/2023 23:56

@HelloBunny also not a private account and everyone at work follows her and vice versa so it’s not like I’ve seen my accident.

OP posts:
notmrscookie · 18/03/2023 04:56

@foodiefil My friend was in a similar situation to you.Turns out the person she complained to lied and the day off hadn't been approved but didn't want to deal with the fall out so came up with some crap reason which lead to both of them being given a final warning..

MrsMikeDrop · 18/03/2023 05:01

Wow, your colleague certainly has form. I'd assume as it's "mental health" then technically nothing can be done, in fairness having some fun if you're not feeling the best mentally is probably the right thing to do, but totally CF showing that off on social media. I'd also question how genuine they are, as usually people in that state of mind can't be bothered with social media

snitzelvoncrumb · 18/03/2023 05:08

Mental health is no different to physical health. You get so many days a year, you should use them. You should absolutely take a day if you need it. With the social media it’s so important to have it on private, and no one from work as a sm friend.

MiamiMyAmy · 18/03/2023 05:17

Ask your manager, you might get one too and then not feel so bothered that someone is getting something you’re not. 😉

KeHuyWinner · 18/03/2023 05:22

MiamiMyAmy · 18/03/2023 05:17

Ask your manager, you might get one too and then not feel so bothered that someone is getting something you’re not. 😉

This.

OP tried get the person in trouble 'raising it with a senior colleague', found out that it had been approved so she just looked like a snitch so has to find some other way to complain about it.

GoodChat · 18/03/2023 05:58

They needed a day off. They were given a day off. The reasoning behind it was none of your business.

It sounds like they made good use of it.

Dayze · 18/03/2023 06:01

but I don’t understand why we can’t all have a day like today
You can and you say yourself you have. The only difference is your colleague chose to post about theirs on social media.

Mothership4two · 18/03/2023 06:03

KeHuyWinner · 18/03/2023 05:22

This.

OP tried get the person in trouble 'raising it with a senior colleague', found out that it had been approved so she just looked like a snitch so has to find some other way to complain about it.

Show quote history

It was probably the fact that several people had to rearrange shifts to cover that has annoyed the OP.

Someone taking a day off due to MH problems knowing this will inconvenience colleagues and then posting about their 'fun' day out knowing those colleagues would be able to see their posts is pretty tone deaf. I would think having a day's sick leave for MH reasons and then having this kind of day would raise eyebrows in many workplaces

louderthan · 18/03/2023 06:23

I'm not sure your senior colleague should have disclosed personal health information to you about another member of staff. I do get your point though.

RachelSq · 18/03/2023 06:33

I think what I’d be peeved about in OP’s situation is that this sounds like a premeditated “pulling a sickie” rather than actually being I’ll on the day.

I’ve been there (taking sick leave for MH) so it’s not the reason I’m belittling at all, just seems odd to have so much lined up if you’re struggling enough for it to be day 1 off sick from work.

Autienotnautie · 18/03/2023 06:38

It's not really your business. For example the mh day could have been due to a anniversary of a loved one and your colleague was remembering that person with those close to them. It's between them and their manager and tbh you shouldn't have been given any information at all.

Dayze · 18/03/2023 06:46

RachelSq · 18/03/2023 06:33

I think what I’d be peeved about in OP’s situation is that this sounds like a premeditated “pulling a sickie” rather than actually being I’ll on the day.

I’ve been there (taking sick leave for MH) so it’s not the reason I’m belittling at all, just seems odd to have so much lined up if you’re struggling enough for it to be day 1 off sick from work.

You and the OP are both judging the colleague for not dealing with their own mental health in a way that you have decided is ‘correct’.

You have no idea of the circumstances; whether someone came and whisked them out, whether they had arranged a day to deal with the anniversary of an awful event, whether they recognised the signs they were approaching breaking point and chose to deal with it early instead of letting it get worse. You can’t possibly know because it’s none of your business.

They’re doing what feels right for them. When you need your own mental health day, you do what’s right for you.

Talapia · 18/03/2023 06:53

Mothership4two · 18/03/2023 06:03

It was probably the fact that several people had to rearrange shifts to cover that has annoyed the OP.

Someone taking a day off due to MH problems knowing this will inconvenience colleagues and then posting about their 'fun' day out knowing those colleagues would be able to see their posts is pretty tone deaf. I would think having a day's sick leave for MH reasons and then having this kind of day would raise eyebrows in many workplaces

Show quote history

This would be the case in my workplace. It would be a huge inconvenience to move other people round, and would cause stress and impact the community we serve.

I think people need to think before plastering their every waking moment on social media.

Talapia · 18/03/2023 06:54

Would people fell happy if this was their kids teacher or a Doctor who was in the pub when they should have been teaching in surgery etc

PermanentTemporary · 18/03/2023 06:55

I think the best option is to stop thinking about it.

I had 2 weeks off for MH reasons last year. They were 2 of the worst weeks of my life, though I don't have clear memories of them. Maybe what I did on those 2 weeks would have looked OK to others? I don't know. I felt like shit throughout.

I agree your colleague is a fool to post anything on SM at that time. People can be complete fools. What difference does it make? Leave them alone and live your own life. Maybe unfollow him.

WandaWonder · 18/03/2023 06:56

If people want days that can be called 'mental health days' unless you have set criteria to prove it then it be used however for everyone

smellyflowers · 18/03/2023 06:57

Maybe she's having a breakdown and the instragram stories is her trying to proove she's fine really.

PermanentTemporary · 18/03/2023 06:57

@Talapia I don't have an actual right to control or manage my kids' teachers or doctors lives.

If your kid's surgeon or the pilot of your holiday plane is suicidal do you want them coming to work regardless? What does being suicidal look like to you?

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 06:59

You get so many days a year, you should use them.

No. A lot of places don't give "free" sick days. If I were to take one sick day off I wouldn't get paid, so if I needed a day to reset I would book it as annual leave.

Maybe this colleague was ill or maybe not, but taking a sick day then plastering your day out over social media is rather tone deaf.

Talapia · 18/03/2023 07:02

PermanentTemporary · 18/03/2023 06:57

@Talapia I don't have an actual right to control or manage my kids' teachers or doctors lives.

If your kid's surgeon or the pilot of your holiday plane is suicidal do you want them coming to work regardless? What does being suicidal look like to you?

I'm glad you think that as many people who post on MN seem to believe they own their kids teachers and Doctors ! There are numerous posts on here which are very anti teacher, Doctor saying how over paid and bone idle they are.

It's fine for people to use a mental health day however the see fit. However, I still don't think it's wise to post it on social media.

HeadsShouldersKneesAndMyGreatAuntsWalkingStick · 18/03/2023 07:06

Ironic that social media is a known culprit for mental health problems.

Fernanfrank · 18/03/2023 07:13

Talapia · 18/03/2023 06:54

Would people fell happy if this was their kids teacher or a Doctor who was in the pub when they should have been teaching in surgery etc

I'd be more than happy if a teacher or my doctor needed time for their mental health. Rather than making mistakes or breaking down in classrooms/clinics. But then I work with doctors and have compassion for their situation, unlike others. These job roles aren't immune from mental health issues anymore than any other profession.

DrMeredithGrey2023 · 18/03/2023 07:14

Sorry, am I reading wrong?

It's an actual sick day, due to her mental health, rather than a 'mental health day'?