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Original poster

Sicky and posting on social media

112 replies

foodiefil · 17/03/2023 23:43

I’m quite annoyed about something and wondering if there’s anything i can do.

colleague called in sick today. A few of us were asked to swap shifts which is how I know.

colleague then posted on Instagram several times - in a pub, eating drinking, in another pub, in the car on a trip out.

i raised this with a colleague who is more senior than me and they couldn’t say much but said it had been arranged with our boss, it was a sick day due to mental health.

i have a diagnosed mental health condition and I’ve needed time off in the past - no issues there.

but due to job stresses many of us are experiencing mental health issues (redundancy) and I’m wondering if we should all be able to take a day like this, a one that is paid, goes down as sickness but where we can go out and do what we like?

this isn’t company policy it’s a decision that’s been made at manager’s discretion to allow this employee to take today off but I don’t understand why we can’t all have a day like today, is this not treating people differently?

same roles same pay roughly etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
foodiefil · 18/03/2023 11:13

Also just to be clear, I don’t know for a fact that her reason for being off was MH I’m just drawing that conclusion

OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 18/03/2023 11:16

It is absolutely none of your business, I was sent home from work distressed a few months ago, and yes, updated my colleagues and boss on how I was, I was taken out for lunch by a friend and well looked after - those who knew why I had been sent home wanted to know I was ok. It wasn't done publicly, but I can understand how that might have happened

SilverGlitterBaubles · 18/03/2023 11:16

If someone needs a day off for sickness, health or personal reasons that is fair enough. However it is also reasonable for people to feel aggrieved when they have had to rearrange shifts and see said colleague is in the pub and enjoying themselves. I would argue if you are well enough for the pub you are well enough for work and if you want a day off to go out you should take it as annual leave and not use mental health as a get out card for everything.

Also being friends with work colleagues on social media is not a good idea especially if you are daft enough to post something like this.

Original poster
foodiefil · 18/03/2023 11:20

Thanks @SilverGlitterBaubles i think you’ve summed it up.

sorry about your hard time @Nimbostratus100 i do absolutely have sympathy - all the sympathy - in genuine cases. I was signed off for several weeks last year.

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HazyDragon · 18/03/2023 11:27

this isn’t company policy it’s a decision that’s been made at manager’s discretion to allow this employee to take today off but I don’t understand why we can’t all have a day like today, is this not treating people differently?

But your colleague has asked for something and it was granted? You have no idea about what is happening in someone else's life.

Personally, I would never go gossiping to a manager because I thought someone had used their 'sick day' in a way I don't approve of. I find minding my own business works best and if I need something for myself, I ask for it.

Emmamoo89 · 18/03/2023 11:30

They can do what they want. But shouldn't post it on SM

Original poster
foodiefil · 18/03/2023 11:30

Yeah fair enough @HazyDragon

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Original poster
foodiefil · 18/03/2023 11:30

@Emmamoo89 yep!

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Abraxan · 18/03/2023 11:33

snitzelvoncrumb · 18/03/2023 05:08

Mental health is no different to physical health. You get so many days a year, you should use them. You should absolutely take a day if you need it. With the social media it’s so important to have it on private, and no one from work as a sm friend.

So was it taken as a holiday?
Or a sick day.

We don't get given a set number of days allowed for sick leave afaik.

NillyNoMates · 18/03/2023 11:35

That’s so annoying, I see it from their point of view that going out will be good for their mental health, but it feels like they are sticking two fingers up at you all who are covering for them at work.
I have a colleague who has done the same. They took weeks off because they were in pain waiting for an operation but somehow managed to do a lot of walking and visiting and sightseeing every weekend. It’s annoying but there’s not a lot we can do.

Fernanfrank · 18/03/2023 11:36

If you don't like people at workplaces being 'treated differently' your employer really should look into getting some good equality and diversity training for you/your colleagues. It's not actually the accepted norm to treat everyone the same and it's a really bad management style.

Original poster
foodiefil · 18/03/2023 11:38

Abraxan · 18/03/2023 11:33

So was it taken as a holiday?
Or a sick day.

We don't get given a set number of days allowed for sick leave afaik.

Show quote history

We were asked to change shifts to accommodate sickness so I understand it to be a sick day due to stress/other MH reasons although I haven’t been told that explicitly

OP posts:
Original poster
foodiefil · 18/03/2023 11:41

Fernanfrank · 18/03/2023 11:36

If you don't like people at workplaces being 'treated differently' your employer really should look into getting some good equality and diversity training for you/your colleagues. It's not actually the accepted norm to treat everyone the same and it's a really bad management style.

“treated differently” in this instance does not refer to equality or diversity. My question was about if one person can have this day, can we all? Or do other people who don’t have the conviction to ask for it need to continue to struggle in silence?

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SilverGlitterBaubles · 18/03/2023 11:42

I think it is unfair to other staff at a time when many workplaces are stretched as it is. It creates resentment and a domino effect where others will think why do I bother covering for others and why can't I have a day off to myself too.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 18/03/2023 11:47

Fernanfrank · 18/03/2023 11:36

If you don't like people at workplaces being 'treated differently' your employer really should look into getting some good equality and diversity training for you/your colleagues. It's not actually the accepted norm to treat everyone the same and it's a really bad management style.

I'm not sure what part of equality and diversity training covers 'take a day off from work to go to the pub and post it on social media so your colleagues can see you enjoying yourself while they rearrange their lives to cover your shifts'

SazCat · 18/03/2023 11:52

At an old workplace a colleague from another dept was off sick for a few days, and someone else from her team saw her in town going into a pub with a friend carrying clothes shopping bags. She gossiped about it all around the office, and was really annoyed about it saying she obviously wasn't ill and was taking the mick.

I later found out that the member of staff had suffered a miscarriage, so had taken a few days off sick which her manager was fine with. Why shouldn't she have gone out for lunch with a friend, when I had a MC I myself wanted distraction and to be with those close to me!

People shouldn't be so narrow minded, there could be loads of reasons someone is off.

I do agree that posting on SM is a bit silly though!

Fernanfrank · 18/03/2023 11:53

@foodiefil if you want a day off, sick/AL/a mental health day, just ask for one! Just like your colleague did! She's not being treated differently to anyone else, if you haven't asked to take a day off too.

Coming online to slag a woman off, for taking a day iff, that you've come to your own conclusion is for her mental health is gross. It's completely playing in to the stigmas around mental health issues. Considering you claim to also suffer with your own issues, you'd think you'd have a bit more compassion. Whether she's genuine or not, the shift would need to be covered. It is not up to you or your colleagues to determine if someone is sick enough to not be a burden. Let's hope your colleagues weren't bitching about you when you had time off for your own mental health.

Original poster
foodiefil · 18/03/2023 11:55

Thank you @SilverGlitterBaubles

also @Fernanfrank you seem to be conflating two different things. Managers should support different personality types in the workplace differently absolutely but if one person is benefiting from something in the workplace everyone should be able to. I say the word benefitting because this appears to me to be a paid day off under the guise of sickness when the person was well enough to socialise and drink alcohol.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me that this is galling to say the least.

and if it matters this is a person I get on with and generally like day to day but they’ve taken the piss here imho

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Fernanfrank · 18/03/2023 11:55

@SilverGlitterBaubles do you know the college personally do you? Do you know she's completely faking it all? No, you don't. And neither does the OP. Both of you have completely made up the scenario that she's having a wild time of it at the pub getting pissed. A picture is a single snap shot of a moment. It does not and never will convey the true feelings of the subject. The OP's manger hasn't even actually told them why their colleague is off sick. It's just been invented to suit a narrative, then spread about on MN for a good old bitch about people faking mental health/sick days.

Quveas · 18/03/2023 11:59

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 08:33

Why’s that? Because colleagues might disapprove? And what if they do?

If you can't understand why work colleagues would see this from a different point of view I think you need to learn a little more about social awareness, especially as this is affecting them negatively.

Having a day off for mental health reasons is fine. Rubbing your colleagues noses in it because you are having a fun day out while they are covering your shift is not. It isn't difficult to work this out.

In my experience peoples use of social media generally is "tone deaf" and they seldom realise what they are saying or how it is interpreted. That said nobody was was rubbing the colleagues noses in it. The colleagues didn't need to be reading the posts - they went looking for them. But if it's ok to criticise the employee for posting on their social media, what do you think of someone posting their colleagues business in a way that could very easily be recognisable on a website read by millions in mutiple countries?

Original poster
foodiefil · 18/03/2023 11:59

Wow @Fernanfrank

“invented to suit a narrative” is rubbish.

my (genuine) question was about if me and other colleagues would be entitled to ask for this day where we are paid but can socialise. You’ve answered it while also suggesting I’m making up my MH issues.

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Original poster
foodiefil · 18/03/2023 12:01

Quveas · 18/03/2023 11:59

In my experience peoples use of social media generally is "tone deaf" and they seldom realise what they are saying or how it is interpreted. That said nobody was was rubbing the colleagues noses in it. The colleagues didn't need to be reading the posts - they went looking for them. But if it's ok to criticise the employee for posting on their social media, what do you think of someone posting their colleagues business in a way that could very easily be recognisable on a website read by millions in mutiple countries?

Show quote history

Didn’t look for it, just went on social media as I do day to day and the posts were there.

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Fernanfrank · 18/03/2023 12:04

Of course you're entitled to ask for a sick day. You have the same 'benefit' as your colleague to take the day of sick if you need it. Your employer isn't stopping you doing so. If you want a day off take one/ask for one.

Quveas · 18/03/2023 12:05

I say the word benefitting because this appears to me to be a paid day off under the guise of sickness when the person was well enough to socialise and drink alcohol.

Uh huh. But what "appears to you" isn't in any way factual. You don't know (or shouldn't know) whether she is being paid. Just because you think she isn't sick is not remotely the same thing as not being sick, so there is no "guise" about it. And it has been agreed and approved by her manager, so it really isn't your business or that of anyone else. And people who are sick actually are allowed to socialise and drink alcohol, and it may even be good for them. You really sound horribly jealous, really judgemental and something of a bully. This is none of your business. Move on.

Fernanfrank · 18/03/2023 12:07

foodiefil · 18/03/2023 11:59

Wow @Fernanfrank

“invented to suit a narrative” is rubbish.

my (genuine) question was about if me and other colleagues would be entitled to ask for this day where we are paid but can socialise. You’ve answered it while also suggesting I’m making up my MH issues.

I didn't suggest anything of the sort. Merely pointed out you'd had your own issues to deal with and a bit of compassion wouldn't go amiss.