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Original poster

Sicky and posting on social media

112 replies

foodiefil · 17/03/2023 23:43

I’m quite annoyed about something and wondering if there’s anything i can do.

colleague called in sick today. A few of us were asked to swap shifts which is how I know.

colleague then posted on Instagram several times - in a pub, eating drinking, in another pub, in the car on a trip out.

i raised this with a colleague who is more senior than me and they couldn’t say much but said it had been arranged with our boss, it was a sick day due to mental health.

i have a diagnosed mental health condition and I’ve needed time off in the past - no issues there.

but due to job stresses many of us are experiencing mental health issues (redundancy) and I’m wondering if we should all be able to take a day like this, a one that is paid, goes down as sickness but where we can go out and do what we like?

this isn’t company policy it’s a decision that’s been made at manager’s discretion to allow this employee to take today off but I don’t understand why we can’t all have a day like today, is this not treating people differently?

same roles same pay roughly etc.

OP posts:

smellyflowers · 18/03/2023 07:16

And I'm not sure they should be telling you why they are off sick..

donquixotedelamancha · 18/03/2023 07:18

i have a diagnosed mental health condition and I’ve needed time off in the past - no issues there.

Well then why are you posting? It certainly seems like you have an issue.

pictoosh · 18/03/2023 07:23

A day off sick for mental health reasons does not tie anyone to the house. There is no obligation to stay in.
You have no complaint.

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 07:25

pictoosh · 18/03/2023 07:23

A day off sick for mental health reasons does not tie anyone to the house. There is no obligation to stay in.
You have no complaint.

No, but posting your fun day out on social media isn't a great idea.

donquixotedelamancha · 18/03/2023 07:26

I don't have an actual right to control or manage my kids' teachers or doctors lives.

This. It is completely bizarre how many people don't grasp that they aren't owed an explanation for individual's private lives.

I can't imagine thinking I'm owed an explanation for why someone is sick just because they are a doctor or a teacher.

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 18/03/2023 07:26

Yanbu if a person was on long term sick for their mh I think this is fine nearer the end of sick leave as their then working on their mental health and getting back to some normality. However in this situation if they are on their first day off, of being to ill to go to work because of their mh then this is ridiculous. Iv had time off in the past due to mh and its because I'm to ill to even be leaving the house or be around other people otherwise I'd go to work. When you suffer from poor mh it's a forever thing, I would only take time of work when it's severe and I literally can't function otherwise I'd never be at work

smellyflowers · 18/03/2023 07:27

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 07:25

No, but posting your fun day out on social media isn't a great idea.

Show quote history

Maybe the poor mental health is affecting her judgement?

donquixotedelamancha · 18/03/2023 07:27

No, but posting your fun day out on social media isn't a great idea.

Only if you are bothered by other people's bitchiness.

Quveas · 18/03/2023 07:40

Your employer knew and approved the day off - the reason for it and what the person does with it are none of your business to complain about. They didn't pull a "sickie" because they lied about nothing. They discussed their situation with their manager and the manager arranged and approved it within their discretionary powers. Even if they were off sick, being off sick doesn't mean someone has to become a hermit. The activities you describe can very easily be good for wellbeing.

It may come as a shock to you, but you aren't entitled to know the extent of someone elses mental health problems or what they discuss with their manager, so it isn't up to you to judge what they or anybody else should be entitled to. I'm surprised the more senior colleague was foolish enough to discuss this with you - they could get into serious trouble for telling you as much as they did, and quite rightly.

I'm not entirely surprised that someone might need a mental health day if this is how the people they need to work with operate. Bullying judgmental people have that effect on others. How perverse that you've had time off work for mental health issues but think nobody else should get them.

LlynTegid · 18/03/2023 07:47

Talk to the manager about your concern, privately. You could even raise the matter under the guise that your colleague doing this could mean others make comments which could make things worse. Then say nothing to anyone else.

Posting at the time where you are if you are out of the house is a lovely invitation to burglars incidentally.

pictoosh · 18/03/2023 07:49

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 07:25

No, but posting your fun day out on social media isn't a great idea.

Show quote history

Why’s that? Because colleagues might disapprove? And what if they do? They can’t do anything. They can think what they like but there’s no complaint to uphold.
Management say yes. It’s their call.

pictoosh · 18/03/2023 07:54

My workplace has a quite a few seemingly piss-taking skivers btw…but I don’t concern myself with their goings on. It’s not my remit to know or judge their situation in any official capacity. If we’re left short staffed that’s management’s failing…and then ultimately the authority’s.
The individual is not obliged to me.

EnterChasedByAMemory · 18/03/2023 08:05

Mothership4two · 18/03/2023 06:03

It was probably the fact that several people had to rearrange shifts to cover that has annoyed the OP.

Someone taking a day off due to MH problems knowing this will inconvenience colleagues and then posting about their 'fun' day out knowing those colleagues would be able to see their posts is pretty tone deaf. I would think having a day's sick leave for MH reasons and then having this kind of day would raise eyebrows in many workplaces

Show quote history

@Mothership4two I agree. Everybody suffers from poor mental health in different ways, and there’s nothing wrong with going out and about but posting it on social media whilst knowing full well that taking the day of has inconvenienced colleagues who had to swap shifts does seem tone deaf. On top of that many of her colleagues, as OP pointed out, are worried about redundancy so this is also impacting on their mental health so a little bit of consideration would have helped.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 18/03/2023 08:18

This is always tricky.

Often it's the people who are in work who have to scramble round to provide cover and pick up a workload who are forgotten in situations like this - their mental health can suffer too.

A lady I see on FB regularly having continued long term sick time off due to stress often posts every detail of her day together with"You are enough" type nonsense. Meanwhile her colleagues are incredibly stressed trying to pick up the slack as they are more often than not a person down.

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 08:33

Why’s that? Because colleagues might disapprove? And what if they do?

If you can't understand why work colleagues would see this from a different point of view I think you need to learn a little more about social awareness, especially as this is affecting them negatively.

Having a day off for mental health reasons is fine. Rubbing your colleagues noses in it because you are having a fun day out while they are covering your shift is not. It isn't difficult to work this out.

MissMaple82 · 18/03/2023 08:43

MrsMikeDrop · 18/03/2023 05:01

Wow, your colleague certainly has form. I'd assume as it's "mental health" then technically nothing can be done, in fairness having some fun if you're not feeling the best mentally is probably the right thing to do, but totally CF showing that off on social media. I'd also question how genuine they are, as usually people in that state of mind can't be bothered with social media

Well thats a massive generalisation!! You can't say how others will or won't behave around theor personal mental health

TortolaParadise · 18/03/2023 08:50

smellyflowers · 18/03/2023 07:16

And I'm not sure they should be telling you why they are off sick..

Right. Also staff (across the board) should know not to ask!

daimtheman · 18/03/2023 09:13

@foodiefil have you asked if other people can do this or are you assuming you can't?

Actually I think it's great that this colleague posted about their day openly. Better that than skulking around when actually what they were doing was prioritising their mental health.

They should definitely not have told you why this colleague was off though, it's not their right. They could have just said, we know, it's fine and please mind your own business.

RampantIvy · 18/03/2023 09:45

Actually I think it's great that this colleague posted about their day openly.

I don't. They can have a great day out and not post about it on social media, thus causing resentment from their colleagues who are covering their shift.

This could cause problems at work when the coleague returns and the rest of the workforce might just not be quite as accommodating towards her in future. It's tone deaf and shows lack of social awareness.

LakeTiticaca · 18/03/2023 09:49

Mental health. The 21st century's version of the bad back

Prescottdanni123 · 18/03/2023 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

foodiefil · 18/03/2023 10:06

It’s a sick day. We don’t get “mental health days” which I know some workplaces do offer.

our workplace is very understanding they have been with me in the past.

yes I do find it annoying/arrogant that people are moved around last minute to accomodate someone who is sick and they post about their lovely Friday on their Instagram for everyone at work to see - that seems really cocky to me.

the “senior colleague” didn’t tell me it was a mental health day I have drawn that conclusion because she’s had them before and clearly wasn’t physically ill - the big lunch and large white wine.

i can’t snitch on someone who’s posting it for everyone at work to see can I nowwwww 🤨

i am not entitled to any of her private medical information, I agree it isn’t my business but if the manager is giving her days like this my point is we should all be able to have a day like this?

what I don’t like is people in the workplace being treated differently

OP posts:

Timeforchangeithink · 18/03/2023 10:16

Ever heard of Robin Williams? That happy funny life and soul of the party guy? You remember him, the one who committed suicide?........

Original poster

foodiefil · 18/03/2023 10:19

@Timeforchangeithink yeah! Loved Mrs Doubtfire.

OP posts:

Original poster

foodiefil · 18/03/2023 10:24

KeHuyWinner · 18/03/2023 05:22

This.

OP tried get the person in trouble 'raising it with a senior colleague', found out that it had been approved so she just looked like a snitch so has to find some other way to complain about it.

Show quote history

I knew it had been approved I was one of the ones asked to cover the shift due to illness.

OP posts:

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