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Original poster

New Job wobble-the toilets

94 replies

CurlyTop1980 · 16/03/2023 08:14

This is gonna sound so weird and this has made me want to leave.

I've been working in a private school for about 2 and a half months now. It's fine. Part time, 3 days a week. I'm a DSL. Myself and the DSL manager (there's a few campuses and she has over sight of them all) sit in the admin building. After half term I was on training for most of the last 2 weeks and I was only in the office once. I've been all over the campus. But last week the manager approached me and said that the cleaners are unhappy at the state of the toilets and if its me who has been dirting these to stop doing it. I was busy and didn't really take notice of her. But then over the weekend this really annoyed me. I was on campus yesterday and I asked her about this. And she was clear the cleaners came directly to her and accused me messing up the loos. I don't know what this means. I barely use the loos in there and a few weeks ago I noticed some loo roll on the floor and I took some clean loo roll and picked this up and flushed it away. Apart from that the toilets seem clean.

The building we sit in has a large conference room and lots of visitors going and coming. Why do they think its me? The HR Team sit there also and all new candidates come for interview/induction also.

I'm really put out by this. It's making me really uncomfortable and I'm thinking do I really want to remain working somewhere like this!?

Dh says I should just ignore it. But I'm really festering. What should I do??

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 16/03/2023 08:27

Odd

Surely you'd immediately reply that you left any toilet used spotless so it can't be you?

Sarahcoggles · 16/03/2023 08:27

I wouldn't quit as a result of this but it would piss me off, and I would probably say something. I'd say I'm annoyed to have been singled out and semi accused, when there are many other possible "culprits".

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/03/2023 08:29

Its really annoying me. The manager literally was squirming and she says it and the rushes off. Didn't give me any opportunity to respond. Plus I was a bit taken aback as its not something I was expecting to hear.....

OP posts:
Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/03/2023 08:30

burnoutbabe · 16/03/2023 08:27

Odd

Surely you'd immediately reply that you left any toilet used spotless so it can't be you?

It's so odd. I agree. I don't even know what this "mess" is meant to look like!

OP posts:
NCTDN · 16/03/2023 08:31

I'd reply and just say very clearly that it's not you.

WasThereAnotherTroyforHertoBurn · 16/03/2023 08:32

Unbelievable.

Luredbyapomegranate · 16/03/2023 08:34

WasThereAnotherTroyforHertoBurn · 16/03/2023 08:32

Unbelievable.

Yes

Aquamarine1029 · 16/03/2023 08:34

Your manager is shockingly unprofessional. How could anyone possibly single you out when these toilets are open to so many people? This makes no sense at all.

JennyForeigner · 16/03/2023 08:37

You need to book a meeting and say absolutely clearly and definitively. 'I am going to be very clear. I have always and will always leave a toilet as others would expect and are entitled to find it. It causes me distress that you have wrongly jumped to the conclusion that I am responsible for whatever issue has emerged. If the reason for that assumption is that something has changed in how the toilets are being left and this coincided in some way with my taking up my role, you should be considering that another member of staff has experienced a medical change, and thinking how you can remind all staff of expectations and support available if this is the case.'

The alternative is that someone in the cleaning team just really dislikes you. In that case this kind of insinuation is bullying.

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/03/2023 08:39

That's a good answer. I don't know anyone in the building as I dont really use it. It's just a base for me to use if I'm not out and about in the campus. Which most of the time I am.

OP posts:
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 16/03/2023 08:50

Take a photo every time you enter the loo and then every time you leave the loo. If it's ever mentioned again pull up a montage of photos and get the manager/cleaner to point out EXACTLY what the problem is. It's probably someone else leaving skid marks or something.

TortolaParadise · 16/03/2023 08:53

You are new and an unknown entity so therefore the easiest scapegoat. Tell your manager to put a note on the toilet door for all to read. 😬

Calmdown14 · 16/03/2023 08:53

I'd put it in an email. Then you can think carefully about the wording and have a trail.

You can say you were a little taken aback by the conversation and not permitted any time to respond..
That being singled out in this way is making you feel uncomfortable in your own workplace and that the insinuation is entirely misfounded.

It was inappropriate of her to raise it in this way with an individual (you don't have to say that) just that this documents things should you need to escalate.

MoroccanRoseHChurch · 16/03/2023 08:58

OP, are you white british?

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/03/2023 08:59

MoroccanRoseHChurch · 16/03/2023 08:58

OP, are you white british?

Why?

I'm not English. But born here.

OP posts:
MoroccanRoseHChurch · 16/03/2023 09:01

Which sounds like a bizarre no-context question… sorry… but I worked in two workplaces with toilet mess dramas. One workplace, there was a genuine problem (obvious damage) with people standing on the seats. Lots of posters etc were put up. In my second workplace, the problem was “mess” on the seats and floor and the cleaners straight away suspected some of our colleagues who were non-white-British because of standing-on-the-toilet-seat thing, but I’m certain it wasn’t that. I think it was just someone with serious mental health problems.

Topseyt123 · 16/03/2023 09:03

How unpleasant and unprofessional of your boss. She should just have put out a general email to all staff reminding them to leave the toilet as they would wish to find it.

Nobody should have been singled out.

Consider the possibility that she might be the culprit and is therefore deflecting. Don't say it though, especially as you won't have evidence.

PlainSkyr · 16/03/2023 09:07

I would send an email asking why do they think it's you? ESP when the toilets are not exclusively for your use.

Original poster
CurlyTop1980 · 16/03/2023 09:09

In only work 3 days a week and I will email her tommorrow so there is an evidence trail. I feel so uncomfortable about the whole situation. It makes me not want to remain working there to be honest.

OP posts:
Streamside · 16/03/2023 09:12

JennyForeigner · 16/03/2023 08:37

You need to book a meeting and say absolutely clearly and definitively. 'I am going to be very clear. I have always and will always leave a toilet as others would expect and are entitled to find it. It causes me distress that you have wrongly jumped to the conclusion that I am responsible for whatever issue has emerged. If the reason for that assumption is that something has changed in how the toilets are being left and this coincided in some way with my taking up my role, you should be considering that another member of staff has experienced a medical change, and thinking how you can remind all staff of expectations and support available if this is the case.'

The alternative is that someone in the cleaning team just really dislikes you. In that case this kind of insinuation is bullying.

Such a good response,I'd also ensure that this is highlighted in your 6 month review and the sheer difficulty this allegation has created is set out and recorded in case of future need.
Are you a union member, if not please carefully consider this.

NCTDN · 16/03/2023 09:15

@JennyForeigner has it spot on. Put this in the email.

Bogeyes · 16/03/2023 09:20

DSL?

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 16/03/2023 09:22

I think you need to be very direct with which ever manager squirmed their way through the issue. It's plain insulting to you.

Greenfairydust · 16/03/2023 09:29

This is completely unacceptable.

It is so weird that you were single out if the facilities are used by many people, including members of the public.

As others have already said I would put something in writing to your manager and copy HR saying that you are puzzled that this comment was made to you and concerned about being singled out without any proof considering that the facilities are used by so many people. Ask what the justification was.

I have a horrible feeling that you either have a completely incompetent manager or this is the start of a bullying campaign because someone has decide you don't ''fit in'' so you need to have everything in writing from now on.

The right approach for the organisation should have been to email all staff member to mention that facilities should be left in good order if there was an ongoing issue with the state of the loos, but again if random external people have access to them, there is little that this would achieve anyway.

Weallgottachangesometime · 16/03/2023 09:30

I can see why this has frustrated you, because it is unfair with a side of embarrassment. However I would not leave a job for this reason. I think in jobs all sorts of weird, challenging situations can occur and it’s a good thing to be able to try and overcome these rather than bolt away from them. Obviously it there is an ongoing toxic environment then leaving is best, but it sounds like so far this is a one off weird issue?

my approach would be…
1)make it clear to your manager by email that it wasn’t you making the toilet messy and that you were upset by the out of the blue accusation.

2)make a point of speaking to the cleaners when I see them next. Something along the lines of “Hi. X spoke to me about the issues there have been in the toilets. I’ve haven’t noticed any issues while I have been using them, because I don’t use them very often because I’m generally around the campus. however I’ll keep an eye out because there’s quite a lot of other using them and let you know if I see anyone causing an obvious issue” (with a broad friendly smile).

Then I’d try to leave it and let it go and hope that things move on.