New Job wobble-the toilets

[CurlyTop1980]

This is gonna sound so weird and this has made me want to leave.

I've been working in a private school for about 2 and a half months now. It's fine. Part time, 3 days a week. I'm a DSL. Myself and the DSL manager (there's a few campuses and she has over sight of them all) sit in the admin building. After half term I was on training for most of the last 2 weeks and I was only in the office once. I've been all over the campus. But last week the manager approached me and said that the cleaners are unhappy at the state of the toilets and if its me who has been dirting these to stop doing it. I was busy and didn't really take notice of her. But then over the weekend this really annoyed me. I was on campus yesterday and I asked her about this. And she was clear the cleaners came directly to her and accused me messing up the loos. I don't know what this means. I barely use the loos in there and a few weeks ago I noticed some loo roll on the floor and I took some clean loo roll and picked this up and flushed it away. Apart from that the toilets seem clean.

The building we sit in has a large conference room and lots of visitors going and coming. Why do they think its me? The HR Team sit there also and all new candidates come for interview/induction also.

I'm really put out by this. It's making me really uncomfortable and I'm thinking do I really want to remain working somewhere like this!?

Dh says I should just ignore it. But I'm really festering. What should I do??

This is a shocking read. OP I would be putting in a complaint asap, especially if its on grounds of discrimination. How can your manager single you out like that?

Why are people bigots for pointing out that different cultures use the toilet different ways? They do. Some cultures don't sit on the toilet seat, they put their feet on the seat and crouch to use it. Some cultures use hoses and find those that only use toilet paper dirty (us). Why is everything "bigoted" these days?

Are you extremely overweight? In one office I was in, there were just awful skidmarks, right up to the rim - I couldn't even work out how it was physically possible to manage this, looked like constant explosive diarrhea.
Anyway, there was one lady who was morbidly obese and the days she was in seemed to correspond to the days the toilets were in this state, and I know a lot of people (including me) came to the conclusion that it must be down to her, as her shape must make it hard for her to aim properly, and maybe she even had to put the seat up to use the toilet.

Never thought I would be sharing this with anyone but here you go! :))))

In terms of you - I would call meeting with manager to challenge her as others have said, but I would make it very factual, not just the 'I would never' (as anyone could say that). I would say ' I have been in the office only 3 days over the past 3 weeks', or whatever, and have only used the toilets about twice in that time, when plenty of other people have done it more. What is the basis for the cleaners linking this to me'.

Good luck

This sounds strange. Last week she said something to you about this and you let it go? If someone had said something as weird as that to me I would not have left the office without knowing exactly what the situation was.

Unless the person accusing you has followed you in and out of the toilet then how can they say its you?!
I'd email so that its in writing, saying this and also point out that you have noticed the state of the toilets yourself. Is it that the cleaner is trying to pass the buck as they're doing a terrible job of it?

Were they meaning that the toilet seats had been trodden on? I have heard that recently signs have had to be put up at one of our universities because people stand on the seats.
It's a cultural thing apparently.

Maybe you have students who are from a different culture and the whole toileting issue should be discussed at assembly.
It is very rude of anyone to accuse you like they did and you should defend yourself, as recommended above..

Being charitable perhaps the mess was noticed to be on the 3 days you work and not other days. However I would also suspect the mess was there other times and the comment was a form of bullying. Join a union and unfortunately I do think you need to document that this is an unfounded accusation.

Me either. That's actually a serious accusation to me.

I can see the logic of this advice, but I'd be very careful of having your phone out in the loo. It could of course be misinterpreted, and willingly so if someone is trying to make a false accusation.

This. That's very well put!!

Op, I'd be mortified (and annoyed). It's very unfair to accuse you. I have a bit of a thing about being worried that other people think I've dirtied their toilet to the extent that I sometimes clean somebody else's shit if I've used the toilet after them so that no one thinks it was me. I do this in friends' or relatives houses but not in public ones but yes, I'd hate to be accused of this.

I really think you should tell them that they can't make baseless accusations and male.you feel uncomfortable like this.

That is exactly what I was thinking. Racist attack

No I'm not obsese. Just normal size. I don't step on toilets. Tbh I have absolutely no idea what the mess is meant to be.....

Oh wow. Really? Is that what some people really think? I had no idea. I'm Asian and it makes me really sad to think that people would think that dirty toilets are my fault. :-(

(Tmi warning:

Like many South Asians I usually just poo once a day in the morning before my shower so almost never need to do it outside. It's something we are taught as children.)

This is outrageous. I would feel so self conscious about using the loo after that.
The toilets are going to need cleaning even when they are being used correctly. If something out of the ordinary is happening they need to be more specific in general note or email.

It's not bigoted to acknowledge cultural differences. But it is bigoted to make unfounded accusations and slurs against someone based on their skin colour or perceived heritage.

There is a big difference between using a public toilet in a slightly different way (eg using water to clean as well as or instead of toilet paper) and leaving a public toilet in a mess. The 'dirty toilet' lines are a commonly encountered racist comment, with the message being that a person or group of people is unhygienic and unacceptable, causing isolation, negativity and embarrassment.

For @CurlyTop1980 I'd suggest a direct and facts-based approach. Email your manager and express your concern and confusion about what has been said; ask what specifically has been raised as a concern, and if any particular dates and times have been mentioned, and ask for the specific grounds upon which the cleaners have alleged you to be the perpetrator of this wrongdoing. Then you can seek union advice if applicable and provide a detailed rebuttal.

If your manager is too embarrassed because it's an issue about (gasp) the toilets, show her that you're the more mature person. Ultimately, it has been alleged and put to you that you have been responsible for defacing/damaging/inappropriately using rooms in your place of work. The actual room isn't really that relevant, what matters is that you've been accused of using it inappropriately and creating sufficient mess that other staff have complained. So naturally you want to resolve this issue as quickly as possible so that this doesn't become a stain on your reputation or damage your ability to do your job effectively.

Rumours, gossip, bigotry, racism... They're all like mould, they thrive in dark corners and don't stand up to scrutiny under bright lights and facts.

Op, apologies for derailing the thread but this is incredibly offensive. Stressed, you said something completely different to what the poster said in the post you replied to. They spoke about Asians being accused of dirtying toilets and you are talking about different cultures. Are you saying that it is in Asians' culture to leave toilets dirty?

Yes, in India a lot of people prefer using toilets that you squat down to use (as it's healthier) and think that using toilet paper rather than water is unhygienic but we aren't so primitive that we try to squat on a western style toilet. What nonsense. How insulting.

Uggh...I never want to use the toilets at work now again if this is what people think of me.

Good advice.

I used to clean train station toilets. The most mess was shit loads of water all on the floor and empty water bottles and coffee cups just dumped after they've been used to wash themselves. Used to be puddles of water sometimes. Oh and someone also shit in the urinal then there were women who stuck used sanitary towels to the wall, I wish I was joking. Hey ho. OP don't worry about it I assume you're not doing any of the above

I wouldn't do the pictures thing - they'll just say you took photos before you made the mess and I think it's one of those things where trying too hard to show your innocence might make you look more guilty.

I would email the manager (and probably copy the head) saying that you were shocked at the conversation where you were questioned about dirtying the toilets and that you feel uncomfortable that the cleaners have directly suggested it was you and gone to your manager.

Tell them you have no idea what happened to the toilets and that you had barely used them - in fact on one occasion picking up someone else's toilet paper - and ask why you were accused.

I mean if they had seen you go in the toilets multiple times around the time of the incidents, then that would possibly lead them to think it might have been you. But since you were there very infrequently, it's extremely odd, possibly even racist.

I'd add that you feel uncomfortable in this job now. What a weird thing to accuse an adult of.

Demand an apology. Even if the cleaners said that, she should have told them not to be ridiculous and that, while it is acceptable for them to express concerns, it is not acceptable for them to accuse someone in this way. She needs to do this now. She can also send out a general e-mail saying that she is aware that the loos are used by a lot of temporary visitors, but could everyone make an effort to support the cleaners in keeping the loos clean - flush unfleshed loos etc.

It's better for our bodies to squat but western toilets are not designed for it. If it's a posh private school they are not going to want to put notices up about messy toilets or even all staff emails. Just unlucky coincidence it occurred at the same time as op started

How weird. I am in agreement at a polite but honest email about how surprised, hurt and disappointed you were to be accused of this and I'd add in how you are reflecting on whether you want to work for an organisation that had this attitude of unsubstantiated blame.

This. If a cleaner said this to me about one of my members of staff, I'd tell them it was inappropriate to accuse anyone of making a mess, and say I would send out a general reminder to everyone about making sure they left the toilets as they'd want to find them.

On a separate note I work in an office where we constantly get messages round about keeping the toilets clean. However the problem is the plumbing in the building is so bad toilets are constantly blocked or regurgitating waste!) and flushes set up to use such minimal water that they often don't flush away toilet paper etc. The toilets are therefore always disgusting, even when staff make best efforts to try to keep them clean. I avoid using them. If when you go to the loos OP they are generally fine then i really dont understand what the cleaners are moaning about, unlike the poor cleaners in my workplace.

I agree about demanding an apology, which I would do in writing or email.
I would point out that it is an unsubstantiated allegation and amounts to bullying, possibly racism, adding that I would be seeking union or legal advice if this does not cease immediately.

I wouldn't bother with the photographs, why should you have to do all that?