Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Work making me ill

132 replies

Biscuitlover456 · 09/03/2023 14:58

Hi all - looking for some help/experiences.

My workload at the moment is completely unsustainable and I am now starting to feel myself burning out. I can’t sleep properly, have digestion issues, migraines, skin problems, crying lots more than usual and having some dark thoughts.

Line manager and HR know my workload is unsustainable, I have raised this consistently since autumn last year - due to a department restructure for someone else’s mat leave there will be a new person joining (an FT role whose only job is covering half my workload, which indicates how crazy my job is at the moment) but then the person going on mat leave will obviously bring me back to square one with not enough support and too much work to cover. I have discussed adjustments with manager/HR on several occasions but aside from others picking up one or two small areas of work I still have no real change in the overall picture and finish most weeks feeling destroyed.

I am usually a really organised and motivated person but things are grinding to a halt right now, I can’t do basic things and keep leaving stuff which I know needs looking at but just can’t get into the headspace to do anything. The quality of my work is suffering and I hate not only feeling awful but also feeling like I am performing badly. I have lost a lot of confidence.

Looking for advice/help please from others who have been in this situation before - is leaving my only option? Should I go off sick? Try talking to manager again? Any words of wisdom gratefully received

OP posts:
SilverGlitterBaubles · 09/03/2023 17:49

I am in a similar boat, no words of wisdom just wanted to offer solidarity. All I can say is that I had an accident a few months ago, undoubtedly due to being tired,stressed and trying to do too much. Thankfully not serious but it was a wake up call that I needed to slow down and put myself first or something worse would happen. You should not have to work at 200% capacity to the detriment of your health and family life just to compensate for your employers failure to employ enough staff. Hopefully someone will be along soon with some good advice Flowers

Sunriseinwonderland · 09/03/2023 17:57

Me too OP, I just cannot do this any more. I'm thinking of asking if I can go part time for 6 months to recover.

KathieFerrars · 09/03/2023 18:01

Me too, OP. I am ill all the time and have to spend quite a bit of the weekend resting. I've realised my life has seriously contracted downwards. I am getting an assistant in September so fingers crossed. Solidarity.

Original poster
Biscuitlover456 · 09/03/2023 18:15

@SilverGlitterBaubles how awful, glad to hear it wasn’t serious - you are so right about slowing down/putting yourself first. I am such a people pleaser so struggling with saying no but I don’t have much choice at the minute as my body is deciding for me!

@Sunriseinwonderland 💐sorry things are tough atm, hope you can get PT hours and more downtime

@KathieFerrars good news re: assistant! Can you push to get them started a bit sooner? Though I suppose its better knowing it is on the horizon even if it’s a while away

OP posts:
NewFL · 09/03/2023 18:42

I would sit down with line manager with a list of all your job tasks and ask her to tell you which are the priorities. Make VERY clear to her you will not be doing all these tasks as you simply don't have the hours to do them, as you have previously advised her.
Tell her this is impacting on your health and make it very clear this situation will not be continuing. Use the words "work related stress". If nothing changes in a hurry then look to get out, start looking for another job.

You don't owe these people anything, they don't value their staff, they're not looking after your health and mental well-being. Set yourself a timescale of say 4 weeks and stick to your guns about getting out if it doesn't improve.

And yes as a last resort you could go off sick citing work-related stress

Good luck

Its2amimustbelonely · 09/03/2023 18:48

What is the risk to the company if you don't do everything? What would happen if you just let the balls drop?

NewFL · 09/03/2023 18:53

Oh and one other thing OP, in going into any discussions about the workload I would always take the approach that you're doing the company a favour by doing all these additional job tasks. You don't have to do them, you do it as a favour.
You'll find it easier to have these discussions if you have that attitude

MopsLottie · 09/03/2023 18:56

Take your foot off the peddle , deep breath . Your burning yourself out . weather your part of a large company or a smaller company, you need to have discussions about how you feel , a proactive company will listen ,and depending on your working environment may be able to accommodate you . If this falls on deaf ears , you need to re-evaluate if this is where you are spending your working life . However I get a feeling that support maybe not be there in your home life on supporting you , easier said than done but it’s time for you to have at least , and I mean at least a night free and be you x

Original poster
Biscuitlover456 · 09/03/2023 19:41

@NewFL Thanks, that is a good plan. Back in Feb we did an overview of my role in prep for the restructure around the colleague going on mat leave, so they have got an overview of what I’m dealing with generally but I probably need to update and also get very forensic about all the current tasks. My boss is inconsistent, she will sometimes offer to help with things and then immediately give me more work so I don’t think she gets how much there is (or does and doesn’t care!)

OP posts:
Original poster
Biscuitlover456 · 09/03/2023 19:48

Its2amimustbelonely · 09/03/2023 18:48

What is the risk to the company if you don't do everything? What would happen if you just let the balls drop?

At the moment, I have a project which is concluding next week so this is absorbing lots of my time. If it wasn’t for this I’d probably be off sick already. I am leading it and no one else in the team has been involved so it is really all on me to deliver. The risk to the org would be financial (excess of £20k) and reputation loss if it fails. Its funny because it isn’t seen within the org as that big of a deal (we have other much larger projects on the go) so I think people in the team just tend to ignore it and focus on these other ones which is making me quite resentful. I’m busting a gut for something they don’t even seem to care that much about :-(

OP posts:
Original poster
Biscuitlover456 · 09/03/2023 19:49

MopsLottie · 09/03/2023 18:56

Take your foot off the peddle , deep breath . Your burning yourself out . weather your part of a large company or a smaller company, you need to have discussions about how you feel , a proactive company will listen ,and depending on your working environment may be able to accommodate you . If this falls on deaf ears , you need to re-evaluate if this is where you are spending your working life . However I get a feeling that support maybe not be there in your home life on supporting you , easier said than done but it’s time for you to have at least , and I mean at least a night free and be you x

💐 thank you

OP posts:
ItsCalledAConversation · 09/03/2023 19:53

Companies see overwork near burnout as “boosted productivity” and “high performance teams” - it’s all bullshit to work you til you drop to maximise their profitability. You comply because you’re told your next raise/promotion/offer of help is just around the corner. That’s the carrot that will always be dangled just out of your reach. It’s a system, it’s capitalism, it’s what our culture is built from. I find it sickening. Quit and find out how to make money doing something you love and that makes you happy!

worklifebalancehelp · 09/03/2023 19:54

@NewFL can I ask why the specifics on work related stress? I mean I get it, but if a sick note just said stress would this cause any problems if it were work related?

Weedoormatnomore · 09/03/2023 20:07

I hope leaving is not the only way ! My last job I left they took 30 of the work away from new person gave them 25% pay raise and had someone else assist them. I am now in a job where similar is happening again thanks to last people leaving it in a mess day to day just keeping a float but no time for holidays as will be behind or to sort out any problems from before my time.

NewFL · 09/03/2023 20:09

@worklifebalancehelp most of the time people are off with stress it is due to other factors in their life. Work related stress makes it quite clear to the employer it is their job that's causing the illness, not something else such as relationship breakdown etc.
Employers have a duty of care not to make their employees sick and therefore should take this more seriously

Mumskisail · 09/03/2023 20:12

Your employer has a duty of care to look after your mental health and well-being. I would make a record of all the discussions you've had, then consider taking sick leave for an extended period for stress. Provided you get sick pay? You can formally advise them that you've been warning them for some time that the workload was too much and when you're ready, request a formal meeting to discuss what needs to be different and a phased return to work. But in the meantime you may consider looking for another role.

AllMouthButNoTrousers · 09/03/2023 20:14

One wise person said to me that you don't get remembered for the balls you catch but the ones you drop. You're doing your career no favours by staying there.

Leave and find something else before it kills you.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 09/03/2023 20:30

AllMouthButNoTrousers · 09/03/2023 20:14

One wise person said to me that you don't get remembered for the balls you catch but the ones you drop. You're doing your career no favours by staying there.

Leave and find something else before it kills you.

Indeed very wise words. It's worth remembering that when something goes wrong employers are very quick to point the finger and all the blood, sweat and tears you've put in to the detriment to your health counts for nothing.

Original poster
Biscuitlover456 · 09/03/2023 20:31

ItsCalledAConversation · 09/03/2023 19:53

Companies see overwork near burnout as “boosted productivity” and “high performance teams” - it’s all bullshit to work you til you drop to maximise their profitability. You comply because you’re told your next raise/promotion/offer of help is just around the corner. That’s the carrot that will always be dangled just out of your reach. It’s a system, it’s capitalism, it’s what our culture is built from. I find it sickening. Quit and find out how to make money doing something you love and that makes you happy!

It’s crazy thought because new hires cost money to train - surely it’s a false economy to keep burning through staff?

OP posts:
Original poster
Biscuitlover456 · 09/03/2023 20:33

AllMouthButNoTrousers · 09/03/2023 20:14

One wise person said to me that you don't get remembered for the balls you catch but the ones you drop. You're doing your career no favours by staying there.

Leave and find something else before it kills you.

That is very true. And I am really anxious about cocking up something important due to how I’m feeling now

OP posts:
Isabelle70 · 09/03/2023 20:51

It's the same at my workplace, I have been now been struggling for 5 months my workload has increased over 50% and the other week I thought I could walk out in front of a bus. It was just one thought that day but I am now seeing a psychotherapist and he said in the first meeting I have work related stress.
HR are aware and my manager says we are all busy and offers no assistance.

vagueandconfused · 10/03/2023 00:06

Same here. Ongoing overload over the last year. I've tried to resolve the issue. Had quite a few meetings about it all. Management are positive and understanding but have done pretty much nothing to resolve the issue. Managing relationships upwards seems to be the order of the day rather than worrying about staff below.

I can't continue as things are so I've decided to prioritise myself. I'm making all the right noises but they can literally go fuck themselves.

Original poster
Biscuitlover456 · 10/03/2023 04:28

Isabelle70 · 09/03/2023 20:51

It's the same at my workplace, I have been now been struggling for 5 months my workload has increased over 50% and the other week I thought I could walk out in front of a bus. It was just one thought that day but I am now seeing a psychotherapist and he said in the first meeting I have work related stress.
HR are aware and my manager says we are all busy and offers no assistance.

I am sorry to hear that, glad you are getting some support - I am having similar thoughts at the moment, am feeling like everything would be easier if I wasn’t here

OP posts:
Original poster
Biscuitlover456 · 10/03/2023 04:38

vagueandconfused · 10/03/2023 00:06

Same here. Ongoing overload over the last year. I've tried to resolve the issue. Had quite a few meetings about it all. Management are positive and understanding but have done pretty much nothing to resolve the issue. Managing relationships upwards seems to be the order of the day rather than worrying about staff below.

I can't continue as things are so I've decided to prioritise myself. I'm making all the right noises but they can literally go fuck themselves.

Sorry they haven’t resolved it for you. That’s the same where I am, people fall over themselves trying to please senior management when they make requests (however unreasonable or ridiculous…!) and then drag their feet when the ‘lesser’ staff need some changes made/support.

I’ve had line managers before who have been great and really advocated properly for their teams rather than being pushed around by those above them, but this place is unfortunately not like that and the hierarchy bullshit is entrenched.

Glad you are prioritising yourself! The older I get the more I feel like you have to be ruthless; companies will drop staff without another thought if they have to so I think it’s not a problem for it to cut the other way and get the fuck out if they are unwilling to support you.

OP posts:
SleekMamma · 10/03/2023 04:49

Been there. This is my advice.

Basically look for another job and leave if you feel nothing is going to actually change.

If you are about to break I would go off sick. You need to let your body recover as this is not sustainable.

If you can be bothered I would make a picture to show all the tasks projects that are going on. Just in Excel use a rectangle or oval shape, put in the middle of each shape the name of the task. Months across the top and stack all the shapes. Colour code them if you have the energy.

This is very clear to show how much workload is at your door. Sometimes managers can stop listening to words. But a picture can show it really clearly.

Put yourself first. No job is too important. Remember the PM went off sick with covid!