Work making me ill

[Biscuitlover456]

Hi all - looking for some help/experiences.

My workload at the moment is completely unsustainable and I am now starting to feel myself burning out. I can’t sleep properly, have digestion issues, migraines, skin problems, crying lots more than usual and having some dark thoughts.

Line manager and HR know my workload is unsustainable, I have raised this consistently since autumn last year - due to a department restructure for someone else’s mat leave there will be a new person joining (an FT role whose only job is covering half my workload, which indicates how crazy my job is at the moment) but then the person going on mat leave will obviously bring me back to square one with not enough support and too much work to cover. I have discussed adjustments with manager/HR on several occasions but aside from others picking up one or two small areas of work I still have no real change in the overall picture and finish most weeks feeling destroyed.

I am usually a really organised and motivated person but things are grinding to a halt right now, I can’t do basic things and keep leaving stuff which I know needs looking at but just can’t get into the headspace to do anything. The quality of my work is suffering and I hate not only feeling awful but also feeling like I am performing badly. I have lost a lot of confidence.

Looking for advice/help please from others who have been in this situation before - is leaving my only option? Should I go off sick? Try talking to manager again? Any words of wisdom gratefully received

Who did you raise it formally with?

@TeaandLemonDrizzle raised with boss, there is no HR. Family situation, not mine! Just keeping going and looking for something else.

Fingers crossed you get something else

@Biscuitlover456

1. Email your manager and HR the HSE toolkit www.hse.gov.uk/stress/standards/downloads.htm this sets out their responsibilities and duty of care under H & S at Work Act.
2. Attach the questionnaire duly completed www.hse.gov.uk/stress/assets/docs/indicatortool.pdf and state you need help now as you are being made unwell by their lack of action.
3. Let the ball drop I.e. dot hit a deadline, ideally one that doesn’t cost £20k but impacts your manager. Start asking your manager which job do you want me to do A or B I can’t do both, and don’t. Until you “fail” they won’t hear you.
4. Go sick for 2 weeks, possibly 4 weeks ask your GP for a fit note stating work related stress. Ask GP to recommend a referral to OH and a phased return to work. Before you return ask for a meeting to go through this form www.hse.gov.uk/stress/assets/docs/returntowork.pdf and agree how they will change your workload now,

You can explain one sick absence as being due to unacceptable workload,

I have copied all of this as I may go down this route. Thanks!

I reached this stage once. I’m the end I got a cold I couldn’t shift and went to the GP and burst into tears and she signed me off for a fortnight with a virus. I then realised something had to change and the time off gave me the strength to go back and say “no”. By the way, the man that did my role then got a promotion even though he did it with more help than I had and full time. I look back wishing I had acted sooner

Wow 😮 That's just awful but I have seen it happen.

Thank you! Bookmarking this

I've gone to part time as well. My mobile which is mine and paid for by me does not have work stuff on it any more. This means I spend time prioritising my time each morning. It is part of my job to do this I have realised, not an unpaid hobby!

I had a serious health scare recently. I am a long term employee. I took 3 days off for an emergency op at very short notice.

I fully expected some kindness. I'm afraid I was told my problems were insignificant compared with that of my role and mistakes made would not be tolerated, despite any stress. It confused me, I work hard, earn performance bonus, am trusted and relied on.

I deeply regret any time in the past I have put any job before my family. Yes the high flying rewards are nice.

It like being married to a lovely bloke who is nice whilst the housework etc ticks along, all is organised, but when it doesn't due to sickness or overwork turns into someone you don't like or recognise, or want in your life.

@TeaandLemonDrizzle have you got a thread for support/ venting for you?

@Beesandhoney123
No, I don’t. I kind of just jumped on this thread as it seems there are a few of us in the same position. I’m now on annual leave for a couple of weeks, thank goodness, so will take stock and see what my options are.

Sorry to hear about your health scare. Hope you’re ok now 💐.

@TeaandLemonDrizzle some time off will be good, thinking takes time. I find it helps to write down what I want my life to look like and how to get there ( or as close as I can:)

@Beesandhoney123

Yes, I think I definitely need to find something else. I’ve just turned 51 so I feel time isn’t on my side now. I think I’d like to have something remote or with a bit of travel now the kids are older and, maybe, use my NHS skills and experience to venture somewhere new!!

Enjoy your annual leave! I am practically counting down the seconds to mine soon - my anxiety has been terrible this week, plus to top it off I caught a nasty cold so have been feeling even more sorry for myself.

I am just about scraping by at work but I’ve barely made a dent in the mountain of stuff to do and just can’t seem to get into the headspace of feeling positive about any of it. It just feels so relentless - I keep thinking if I’m never going to catch up why bother trying?

@Biscuitlover456
Hope you feel better soon!
I know what you mean about a mountain of work that is relentless. I spend all day working really hard and, because the emails keep coming in, I don’t look like I have achieved anything. I’m starting to wonder if I’m having work dumped on me a bit as the others (my grade) have been there for years and have mysteriously dropped work and it’s ended up on my desk. They seem to have it a lot easier than me and sit and chat a lot whereas I’m heads down all the time (I have never underperformed or anything either). The workload is ridiculous.

Hi all. I'm still bloody ill. Was ill from Thursday, all weekend. Took Monday off but had to go back in yesterday. Super high anxiety levels. Those are better today but throat bad again and have had two lessons where I have needed to read out loud a lot, another lesson where I've had to rush about trying to sort something out for a pupil and now I've got parents evening. Sob. Feel crap. I honestly don't know if I will ever feel well again.

Are any of you ladies at peri-menopausal/menopausal age as anxiety can get a lot worse during periods of hormonal changes?

This just feels chaotic and random, there is not much in the way of internal policy/processes for a lot of the work we do which I find challenging as I am an ‘information’-type person and like to see things laid out clearly.

I could have written this. I'm working on a project that is a legal process and there are no protocols in place. Nothing is written down, despite this process having been in place for years and many similar projects having gone before ours. We have meetings but nobody takes 'official' notes; they aren't recorded and so we end up with no actions and no record of what was decided. It's maddening. And I'm new to it all, so finding it deeply frustrating to be told "this should have been done this way" when there is no guidance, no training. How can I know how things should be done if they don't tell me beforehand? They expect us to be psychic. It's such an arse-about-face way to work - deeply inefficient, highly stressful and terrible for staff morale.

I am at the end of my tether and on the verge of resigning. I was signed off with stress earlier this year after I did the BMJ burnout questionnaire and realised that it wasn't perimenopause brain fog/anxiety (although it's a good question to ask, @TeaandLemonDrizzle ) but work-related stress. Things have improved slightly but I am angry at our managers for ignoring our cries for help until it was too late. I'm now doing what someone upthread suggested and slowing down. It's making a big difference.

Sorry, BMA burnout questionnaire: https://www.bma.org.uk/advice-and-support/your-wellbeing/self-help-questionnaires/worried-you-may-be-burning-out

I was surprised (ish) that my score indicated I was at risk of extreme burnout, or something like that. I sent it to my manager.

@dubyalass
What did your manager say when you sent them the results of the questionnaire?

Op have a sit down meeting with your manager and HR.
Ask to see their stress risk assessment - assume at this point that they have one as part of their duty of care.
They should have one according to HSE. They likely won't have one.
Ask them what they would like you to prioritise- explain it's making you Ill and it's not sustainable so you need your work load rearranged. Perhaps ask for a copy of their grievance process as this will be your next step if nothing changes - just to make clear you will not be fobbed off this time.
Follow up with an email so you have all of this on record.
If it doesn't change immediately self cert for 7 days then look for something else.

Just to add, the toll of stress on your body causes huge inflammation and longer term health issues. I had a terrible period of work stress a year ago, mainly due to workload when someone else left. otherwise healthy and young and fit with no risk factors for my condition, I now have cancer. I'm pretty sure that the stress caused my body to malfunction.

He told me to sign myself off with his support. He’s not involved in the project but he’s privy to the goings-on and has got increasingly pissed off with it himself. But sending that through was useful for him to see the pressure that I and the rest of the team were under. There was no organisation, no project manager, all of us trying to do all of the tasks and succeeding at none mainly because there weren’t enough of us. All concerns batted away by senior managers until someone escalated it to directors. But even now still getting comments like “you should have done this” or “why did you do it that way?” Er, because we didn’t know any better and any attempt to find out went unanswered/you didn’t know yourselves?

I wasn’t sleeping, I was in tears most days. So anxious and constantly felt nauseous. Just not worth it for the paltry amount they pay me!

You've described my life almost 20 years ago, the work load was horrendous and unrelenting, initially caused by a failed upgrade to a computer system that IT couldn't fix.

After over a year of working flat out, much overtime and weekends, I collapsed at work. Went off sick for ten months. The infuriating thing the person they put in my place had so little to do, she was making wedding tiaras at work to sell on eBay, they brought in 4 temps and gave other people part of my duties, in total 7 people either doing my role full or part time.

I never went back to the roll and took redundancy a couple of years later.

Sorry to hear this! It can be so mentally and emotionally draining to work somewhere where you feel the sands are constantly shifting under your feet. I don’t think organisations always fully appreciate how important clear and transparent processes are; it’s basically a wellbeing issue for staff when it causes stress and anxiety because the company can’t be bothered to work on developing policy.

I think it puts me into this cycle of trying desperately to impose control/order on the chaos, overworking, and then feeling total apathy because no one else seems bothered.

I too am slowing right down and I am not putting myself at risk anymore to make up for what they haven’t put in place. Gearing myself up for letting the balls drop! This is way out of my comfort zone but at this stage I feel I don’t really have another choice.

100% agree.

Dropping the balls is scary but it's the right thing to do! I am at the "I didn't cause this, I am not to blame for this, I am not responsible for clearing up this mess" stage. Means I'm able to detach from the insanity.