Work making me ill

[Biscuitlover456]

Hi all - looking for some help/experiences.

My workload at the moment is completely unsustainable and I am now starting to feel myself burning out. I can’t sleep properly, have digestion issues, migraines, skin problems, crying lots more than usual and having some dark thoughts.

Line manager and HR know my workload is unsustainable, I have raised this consistently since autumn last year - due to a department restructure for someone else’s mat leave there will be a new person joining (an FT role whose only job is covering half my workload, which indicates how crazy my job is at the moment) but then the person going on mat leave will obviously bring me back to square one with not enough support and too much work to cover. I have discussed adjustments with manager/HR on several occasions but aside from others picking up one or two small areas of work I still have no real change in the overall picture and finish most weeks feeling destroyed.

I am usually a really organised and motivated person but things are grinding to a halt right now, I can’t do basic things and keep leaving stuff which I know needs looking at but just can’t get into the headspace to do anything. The quality of my work is suffering and I hate not only feeling awful but also feeling like I am performing badly. I have lost a lot of confidence.

Looking for advice/help please from others who have been in this situation before - is leaving my only option? Should I go off sick? Try talking to manager again? Any words of wisdom gratefully received

Sometimes it’s the only way sadly. I’ve got some time off now so going to do my best to relax, refocus and think about my next steps. So much excellent advice in this thread, I feel very grateful!

Please keep us updated OP as there are so many of us following with interest! I am in a position where I am the only person who does what I do (my colleague is the same and I wouldn't know where to start doing her job). We have prescribed shutdown holidays and in between that I can't take a day off because my job just wouldn't get done...there would just be double to come back to.

I fell into the pattern of checking emails 24/7 even during holidays because of this panic. I also have an extremely long notice period and the excess paid holiday shut downs keep me going because I would miss this time off.

My inbox is relentless but I can cope with all the tasks it throws up (though managing staff is very much like herding cats. I genuinely don't know how some people manage to put their own pants on every day without assistance). However, in addition I often have to undertake specific, time-bound projects which means my everyday tasks are pushed aside and the only answer is to complete them in my own time. During these periods my whole life revolves around [insert company name here].

I have been prescribed beta blockers which do help during periods of extreme panic and as someone mentioned upthread the peri-menopause has hit and HRT has really helped. It hasn't alleviated work stress but I can see why menopausal women have taken extreme measures like thinking they could walk into traffic. I never considered menopausal symptoms. I went to my GP genuinely thinking I was going insane or possibly showing signs of early Alzheimer's which is not me being glib. I've never felt so overwhelmed and anxious and at the same time disinterested in life.

I also put the feelers out for alternatives and spoke to my friend works in an industry where the initial checks on a potential employee can take months and they are happy to wait for as long as my notice period would be, plus the salary matches, I'd just miss the holidays. Knowing there is an alternative out there really helps.

@JustJustWhy I recognise a lot of what you say, checking emails when off and this being relentless. Part of my job needs a few hours of complete focus a day but the relentless emails and interruptions make it impossible. I have tried ignoring emails but then I will get a call instead because someone needs my help so they can get on with their work. So to compensate I do this part of my job very early morning or at weekends. I have decided that I will raise this in my next one to one - I either do the part that needs my attention or I do the relentless emails and herding cats but it's just not feasible to do it all.

this really resonates with me. it is great advice.

I’m currently on two weeks annual leave. My manager is in sick leave (again). I’m dreading the number of emails I’ll have to trail through when I get back.

Update Thanks for all the amazing advice and support on this thread, it really helped :-)

I ended up resigning from my job - it became really clear to me that things wouldn’t change meaningfully after a few discussions with my LM/HR and I am too tired to fight any more, this job isn’t worth it and I don’t enjoy it enough to keep trying. I feel better for having done this and now can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Just as an aside, I realise now that I should’ve trusted my instincts earlier - I felt like they were taking the piss with my workload when I started and that’s essentially been confirmed. They re-advertised my job at a manager level (I’m not a manager) and with a salary of +£10k more than I earn now - this plus the other ‘half’ of my role which was advertised before means my leaving has basically created 2 manager posts at a combined salary of around £70k (I earn less than half this). They have been getting a lot of very cheap work out of me!

Moral of the story is: don’t make yourself ill for any job. My health is my number 1 priority and I’ll be taking this lesson with me to my next role. Oh and if you ask for more support and they say there isn’t money for extra staff they’re probably lying :-)

@Biscuitlover456
Sorry to hear you ended up resigning but, like said, your health is your number 1 priority. I think it’s shocking they have re-advertised for extra help for the post you’re leaving. I’d put a grievance in if I were you.
I’m in a very similar situation myself - still - and desperately trying to escape. Im
trapped a bit due to lost jobs in my field being hundreds of miles away and I’m a single parent now with a child almost half way through GCSE’s.

Hopr you find something else soon.

This happened to me. I left and the responsibility’s were halved for the next person who did my job.

Thanks @TeaandLemonDrizzle - I thought about grievance but I couldn’t muster the energy for it. Better to focus on looking for new opportunities and preserving my sanity in the time I have left here!

Sorry things are still difficult, hopefully a suitable alternative will come up for you soon. I have found it helpful recently to mentally detach as much as possible from work; separating it from how I see myself and how I feel means I don’t have as much anxiety when some of the plates stop spinning (and smash). You can only do the work of one person, no matter what the bosses say!

Sorry to hear you had to resign OP but it sounds like a sensible decision for you and your health. It is very telling how your role has been advertised at a higher level and that two people are needed to replace you. That must be both infuriating and reassuring that they were actually taking the pi**. I feel that this situation happens a lot more to women than men, that we are naturally more likely to try and cope with whatever is dumped on us, that we struggle on and think it must be our own fault for not coping. This is usually reinforced by management. I know several people all women in your situation but there are very few men I know who would put up with this in the workplace.

I think you've made the right decision. The fact that they've advertised your position like that means they knew exactly what they were doing letting you carry the load. I wouldn't want to work for an organisation that behaved like that (although I'm all too aware that many do).

I spend every day on the verge of resigning but part of me wants to see my project through to see what's on the other side. I'm hopeful that I will go back to feeling like I'm progressing rather than being forced into a niche I don't want to be in. A colleague keeps saying "next time you do one of these projects..." and it's taken all my willpower to not say "there won't be a next time because like hell would I go through this again".

Well done, Op. Sounds like you have handled it really well.

If you have tried to solve the problem yourself with no luck and no one is listening then it's always best to cut your losses. It sounds like there was an ulterior motive otherwise why would they pile the work on then decide to split the job in two for two managers as soon as you have left? I suspect they decided they had made a mistake after recruiting you and the only way to deal with it was to get you to leave. Companies can be pretty shit like that and it just smacks of poor management.

Just put it down to a learning experience and don't look back. There are other better jobs out there more deserving of your talents.

What's the plan? Have you got anything lined up?

@SilverGlitterBaubles thanks - I was fuming! But it vindicates me and how I was feeling. And yes, definitely in my experience this sort of thing affects women much more than men because we are usually the ones expected to pick up the slack everywhere, not just at work but at home, in relationships, in society, etc.

@dubyalass hope you make it through! If the long term benefits are outweighing the costs right now then it might make sense to stay put, but keep an eye on how you are feeling and take action if you need to preserve your wellbeing.

No job is worth sacrificing your health, no matter what it is or what the rewards might be, money or otherwise. I have realised that waking up every day with generally good health means I am unbelievably lucky already and I’ve vowed not to take it for granted. Part of that means stepping back when I need to look after myself!

@vagueandconfused I sadly think you might be right. There is someone internal going for one of the jobs so I think it’s just been a case of them shifting chess pieces on the board and deciding to push me out and install them. I was quite forthright about the general issues as I saw them and pushed back when they tried to force me to cover a different role, and I don’t think they liked that :-)

In a twisted way it’s good experience - I have been lucky with employers in the past and thankfully haven’t had first hand experience of this kind of underhanded behaviour until now (though know it goes on). I’ll be wiser next time. I’m looking for another job now and have a couple of leads through former work colleagues which is good so fingers crossed!

I've been watching this thread with interest because it resonates so much especially with being an overworked non clinical NHS worker (currently working in yet another toxic environment). The problem is some of these work scenarios really are just not isolated cases within the NHS, it's scary. Like you, @TeaandLemonDrizzle I am a bit stuck at the moment but I'm determined not to let my health get affected this time round.
@Biscuitlover456 well done on resigning, it seems definitely like the better thing to do all round. I really hope you find a less toxic environment to transfer those skills of yours.
All I can say is no wonder so many people have so many short job stints on their cvs these days. You shouldn't need the resilience of 5000 ox's to get through a low paid job in the NHS or anywhere for that matter!

This is performance punishment at its finest.
They know you will do it so just pile more and more work on!

She won't do it.. She's handed her notice in.

@vagueandconfused I know I've read the thread.
She was doing it though.

No body cares about you but you in the workplace.

I’ve learned a few really valuable lessons from this job - especially this: do the work of one person!

The benefits of the grind and taking on more and more work are completely wiped out by the downsides once it starts to adversely affect your health.

I’ve also been asking myself - who was this really for? What was I trying to prove by acting like I’m Superwoman and can do everything everyone asks of me? I’m not; I can’t. Admitting that feels subversive but it’s true! I feel like I have always been a ‘coper’, someone who is reliable and gets on with things, so admitting I need help has been quite painful but it feels really liberating

@Biscuitlover456
I hope to follow in your footsteps in the next few months, but our house is up for sale so need to stay in my job a while longer due to mortgage and subsequent move.

I'm wondering what it was it that finally made you hand your notice in? How long have you got left to work there? Have you got something to go on to?

I think this thread has saved me. So much stuff I relate to completely here.
I switched from one highly specialised career to another career, now at junior level.
Company is a mess - no processes, no plans, no communication, no ownership. No one knows whose job is what.
At interview I was supposed to prove myself as someone who focuses and really spends time working through optimal solutions to problems. In reality I'm constantly task switching and dealing with 4 unplanned emergencies per day.

My manager has had a recent breakdown everyone knows about but he's made a story to cover. He has really unhealthy work habits. I recently found him working straight through until 5am and cancelling his annual leave. It's not surprising it falls on deaf ears when I comment about problems with the role. He just commiserates "yup - welcome to [company name]". I'm sick to death of him telling me how to do something the wrong way, resulting in me duplicating or triplicating my work. Or he'll tell me confidently that something needs to be done a certain way, and the next day he'll ask someone else in a slack channel who will tell him it needs to be done in an entirely different way. Why couldn't he just tell me he didn't know so I could prioritise my work? Such a joke.
I largely stick to my work hours out of defiance but the intensity is crazy. I have about 4 pages of handwritten lists at the end of every working day just to keep track of what I'm doing.

The only upside to the job is people are generally nice. I would say I have bonded less with my coworkers in this role than in other roles before, but I get on pretty well with them.

I have recently learned I'm probably autistic and this has really knocked my confidence when it comes to managing stress. I worry I'm the problem and it's just that I can't cope. I know task switching is a major stressor for me.

This thread has made me feel a lot better. My job is scoring sky high on the burnout risk checklists. I feel much more validated. I want to find a new job just so I can punish my manager for not having any b*s.

@Salonselectives in the end it became clear (through the process of them restructuring the team around a colleague’s mat leave) that for all my juggling and plate spinning they were not going to invest in me or the team properly.

So I pushed back against some of the changes they proposed and basically the situation became untenable; I was going to be forced to take on things I explicitly said I didn’t want to so leaving was the only option.

Plus, getting to Friday each week with an enormous and ever-growing list of outstanding tasks was so exhausting and demoralising. I have always been a hard worker and someone who generally focuses well and enjoys problem solving, but when faced with a workload I’d need 8 lifetimes to complete, everything just starts to feel pointless.

I have 9 weeks left - feel like a different person :-) anxiety is still there but much reduced. Nothing lined up yet but have secured an interview next week so fingers crossed for that!

Sorry to hear that, sounds like a rubbish situation, @Yellowishes - I’d think about making an exit strategy. It seems like things are unlikely to change and everyone has just accepted the situation

I've written my resignation letter today but haven't sent it yet because my manager is off and he's a good 'un - would much rather have a conversation with him first. Back to not sleeping and being in tears. Just not worth it for my paltry salary.

Proud of you! I hope your health improves.