Work
Can I have your best passive aggressive work sentences please?
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 11:06
Just that.
How do you respond to that person who is always suggesting you're not doing your job properly even though they're not your manager, just a mere colleague? Do you kill with politeness?
Hope that helps - please don't bother me with this shit anymore
Thanks in advance - do that
As per my last email - pay attention, nitwit
What else?
Kranke · 08/03/2023 11:26
Just ignore them. Being passive aggressive will show them that they’ve got to you. Don’t give them any satisfaction.
ZeroFuchsGiven · 08/03/2023 11:29
There is nothing worse than passive aggressiveness, absolutely pointless all round. If you have something to say then just say it fgs.
doubleshotcappuccino · 08/03/2023 11:31
Forwarding the previous email trail that proves your point with a " please see below"
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 11:40
Kranke · 08/03/2023 11:26
Just ignore them. Being passive aggressive will show them that they’ve got to you. Don’t give them any satisfaction.
I could ignore it but 1) they copy your manager in and 2) insist you're wrong when you are not.
This is a person who is very difficult, who always insists she knows more than anyone and who I suspect wanted to be team manager. She is always pulling that kind of crap so she needs to be put in her place.
Kranke · 08/03/2023 11:43
As you said, they’re your colleague, it’s not really for you to put them in their place. If it’s frustrating you, speak to your line manager, it’s their job to manage them, not yours. If they are that pig headed, I don’t think anything you say to them will make them stop, they’ll more likely escalate it and you could find yourself in trouble. Carry on doing your job, sounds like you manager doesn’t have a problem. You don’t want to be pulled up for doing the same to them as they’re doing to you.
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 11:44
doubleshotcappuccino · 08/03/2023 11:31
Forwarding the previous email trail that proves your point with a " please see below"
Yes, I do that with her very often and she always ends up with egg on her face. She should have given up now but gif knows why she keeps doing it
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 11:44
ThoseDamnCrows · 08/03/2023 11:37
"There we are then"
(First letter of each word)
Love that 
LordEmsworth · 08/03/2023 11:48
I wouldn't be impressed by any of my team being pass agg.
Either ignore and speak to manager; bland and non reactive response like please see below / thanks for your feedback / I will look into it; or, I feel that you often look for fault in my work, is there a wider problem we need to discuss. Personally I'd do the last ( and have in the past) but it does need a bit of nerve and willingness to address issues.
HeyMicky · 08/03/2023 11:51
Schedule a meeting with them and your manager. Call their bluff. Go through a list of items you have done correctly and they have suggested have not been done, asking if there are any questions and if they were expecting anything different. Ask your manager directly in the meeting if they are happy with the outcome. Then cheerfully conclude by encouraging them to send any further questions direct to your manager
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 11:52
Kranke · 08/03/2023 11:43
As you said, they’re your colleague, it’s not really for you to put them in their place. If it’s frustrating you, speak to your line manager, it’s their job to manage them, not yours. If they are that pig headed, I don’t think anything you say to them will make them stop, they’ll more likely escalate it and you could find yourself in trouble. Carry on doing your job, sounds like you manager doesn’t have a problem. You don’t want to be pulled up for doing the same to them as they’re doing to you.
My line manager is not her manager, she responds to the team manager. And she is personal friends with my line manager, unfortunately. They live close to each other and regularly meet for coffee outside work. Having said that, my line manager knows she is difficult.
Once when a similar situation happened (when I proved she was wrong responding to each of her points in a long email trail) , I just told my manager very briefly, "I'm afraid I had to do that", to which my manager replied with a knowing smile, "Yes, I understand very well why you had to do that".
She is always pulling those stunts and I feel I always have to defend myself from what she's saying this time but I have to use extra polite language because she is a viper.
ToDoListAddict · 08/03/2023 11:54
Could you say something like, "this has been actioned/processed according to the current policy/work procedure. If the policy/work procedure has been amended, please can you provide the updated version so I can ensure I process this correctly going forward"
Do you have the same manager? If not, I'd be copying them in on all emails sent correcting her.
DoesItHaveKosovo · 08/03/2023 11:55
doubleshotcappuccino · 08/03/2023 11:31
Forwarding the previous email trail that proves your point with a " please see below"
This is my favourite
Salonselectives · 08/03/2023 11:56
Speak to your manager, confirm you are right and suggest you run through the correct process with her. Then reply, ccing your Manager:
Colleague, No this isn't right. Happy to take you through the correct process before the xx meeting on Thursday, should only take about 20 mins. We can also cover xx which you were unsure about last week.
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 08/03/2023 11:56
I think I'd just say "if you have a problem with my work, speak to my manager"
Because if she does regularly think that she should be doing that anyway. But obviously you're manager knows what shes like so I expect it would be a dead duck.
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 08/03/2023 11:57
And to be honest you should go to your manager and air your grievance. It's your managers job to deal with it.
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 12:00
@LordEmsworth and @HeyMicky like I said it above, she is personal friends with my line manager. They meet socially outside work often.
My team manager who is above us all is very "soft" and the kind that hates any kind of confrontation. When faced with hard nosed people in the past he simply gave in.
And she never does that in person, is always the emails with minor and ridiculous things copying my line manager and sometimes other people in. I feel it's a no win situation and she makes me so stressed sometimes. Like I said I feel I can't win with her no matter what
FoxFeatures · 08/03/2023 12:01
If it is a face to face confrontation (on their part) channel your inner Spock, raise an eyebrow and say 'fascinating' in your most bored voice.
privateeyeeye · 08/03/2023 12:03
I love these people. Just do your work, but in a way that you KNOW will wind her up. Ask her questions that you know you have asked before, ask her to do stuff you know she won’t. Suggest helpful improvements to the system she uses.
see if you can get her to stomp round to your desk red faced, after you have sent an ‘innocuous’ reply.
makes the day go quicker
Mabelface · 08/03/2023 12:09
Being upfront, straight and clear is the only way to deal with this shit. I'd actually grab her for a face to face chat and ask her why she's interfering with my work, telling her that if she has any issues, then speak with your manager, as you won't be responding to these emails moving forward. Tell your manager that you'll be doing this and then stick to it. Being PA gets you nowhere.
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 12:11
@Salonselectives and @ToDoListAddict I always reply along those lines using that kind of language but like I said above I need to be extra careful because not only she is a mega viper but also a personal friend of my manager, so it's a proper minefield.
I love my job, I love my team, I'm not perfect but I do my job to the best of my abilities. I don't want to sound big headed but mistakes are few and far between. It's just her who is always pulling that kind of crap.
For example, I just pointed now that she was saying something wrong and her reply was literally, "Oh, I missed that, I have a headache and email trail was too long". And I'm like, really? Is that your reply?
LordEmsworth · 08/03/2023 12:12
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 12:00
@LordEmsworth and @HeyMicky like I said it above, she is personal friends with my line manager. They meet socially outside work often.
My team manager who is above us all is very "soft" and the kind that hates any kind of confrontation. When faced with hard nosed people in the past he simply gave in.
And she never does that in person, is always the emails with minor and ridiculous things copying my line manager and sometimes other people in. I feel it's a no win situation and she makes me so stressed sometimes. Like I said I feel I can't win with her no matter what
Are you saying that your manager's friendship has a negative impact on her ability to do her job? Or just that it's embarrassing to say to her, your mate keeps emailing me and is incorrect so I will ignore her?
I really don't understand why them being friends makes it ok for you to be passive aggressive towards the colleague, surely that makes it worse. You'll make yourself look bad rather than achieve anything. Just stop answering her...
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 12:12
privateeyeeye · 08/03/2023 12:03
I love these people. Just do your work, but in a way that you KNOW will wind her up. Ask her questions that you know you have asked before, ask her to do stuff you know she won’t. Suggest helpful improvements to the system she uses.
see if you can get her to stomp round to your desk red faced, after you have sent an ‘innocuous’ reply.
makes the day go quicker
Suggestion noted :D
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 12:13
FoxFeatures · 08/03/2023 12:01
If it is a face to face confrontation (on their part) channel your inner Spock, raise an eyebrow and say 'fascinating' in your most bored voice.
Love this, noted 😅
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