Can I have your best passive aggressive work sentences please?

[Mars27]

Just that.

How do you respond to that person who is always suggesting you're not doing your job properly even though they're not your manager, just a mere colleague? Do you kill with politeness?

Hope that helps - please don't bother me with this shit anymore
Thanks in advance - do that
As per my last email - pay attention, nitwit

What else?

[HumourReplacementTherapy]

"It's all set out correctly in my earlier response. If you need training in this area then let me know and I will set time aside/request a training course/find some e-learning on it"

[privateeyeeye]

Oh the other way to make it stop is set up a meeting to ‘go through the issues’ every time the email chain gets too long. Like just for 10mins. She’s HATE that and you look proactive.

[Hungrycaterpillarsmummy]

@Mars27

This is exactly what I should do but boy, I do need some nerve to do this.

Why do you need a nerve to do that?! It's factual and straight to the point. It's not offensive in any way.

[Brefugee]

if you won't be direct, then you'll have to put up with it.

Just stay factual: if there is no mistake, write back with all in cc and say exactly that. "it was correct and has been carried out within company processes"

if there is a mistake: "thanks for checking, i always think 4 eyes are better than 2"

Wasting energy on passive aggressive stuff, much as i love it, is pointless as it will go right over her head.

I did once start to send someone like this, just about every piece of work i ever did with a request to check over it, just in case, and since due to past communication i understood that was their role. cc to the usual suspects they liked to cc in mails to me.

And it stopped.

[Mars27]

@N27

Could you just face into it in a very obvious, factual, and non emotive way ie

”x, this is the 8th email you have sent in the past two weeks in which you seem to suggest I have not performed my work correctly, and each time I have responded to show that I have. Rather than include other colleagues on this each time would it be possible for us to have a conversation directly next time? Thanks”

This is exactly what I should do but boy, I do need some nerve to do this.

[BelindaMelinda]

Thanks for your input x, I'll take that on board.

[Hartlebury]

@doubleshotcappuccino

Forwarding the previous email trail that proves your point with a " please see below"

I have to do this a terrifying amount of times a week.

[Mars27]

I won't reply to each one of you directly but I just wanted to say a massive thanks to everyone, some great suggestions and some of them I already do which shows me I'm in the right path. Keep it brief, short and I can't be too scared to raise with my LM if she keeps pulling that kind of shit tbh. Thank you all

[N27]

Could you just face into it in a very obvious, factual, and non emotive way ie

”x, this is the 8th email you have sent in the past two weeks in which you seem to suggest I have not performed my work correctly, and each time I have responded to show that I have. Rather than include other colleagues on this each time would it be possible for us to have a conversation directly next time? Thanks”

[Tanfastic]

Admin to clinicians here. I wouldn't get embroiled if it were me. If it were me I'd speak to colleague directly rather than by email to see if you can iron out any issues. If they don't get it (which no disrespect to clinicians, some aren't au fait with admin processes) then you refer to your line manager. This is your line manager's job to clarify. I honestly wouldn't care if they are friends. You speak to your line manager and explain you don't appreciate the emails can she please sort it out. That is what she's paid to do op.

I'm lucky though, my line manager stamps on anything like this straight away and untangles any issues there may be between admin and clinicians.

[BruceAndNosh]

"Noted"

[Shannith]

As in the short c&p answers = grey rock

PA responses just continue the drama and the headspace.

[Shannith]

Rest easy in the knowledge that everyone who is unwillingly cced into the emails has her card marked as an insecure twat. No one wants to be randomly cced by people not professional enough to sort thing out themselves.

Agree with @CMOTDibbler. Stop the personal engagement. Write 3-5 generic process/rules based responses e.g this has been/will be completed line with department procedure x. doc and just c&p as required.

One liners. Boring facts. Copy and paste.

Do not get passive aggressive unless you want to continue the irritation forever, with the odd frisson of fuck you. PA just perpetuates it.

It's the professional equivalent of grey rock.

[MooBaggage]

As someone who is admin and works with clinicians I feel your pain! You have to become the Master at positive replies because you know they'll never (ever) change...

So just keep things positive - and if a query is taking too many emails or you're being accused of doing something wrong, try and take it off line - literally reply to say "No problem - shall we take this offline?" and that will close down the email correspondence. Then reply directly to her with the info - and then I would forward that to your line manager to let them know it's all sorted out.

It's a pain in the neck - but keep the audit trails and keep it uber professional and positive so that you can never be accused of being obstructive!

[LordEmsworth]

Ah! Well that's easy. Be honest, and factual, and accept that it'll be repeated to her - and do not be defensive, it's very easy for that to be interpreted as aggression. Nothing to be embarrassed about - never give feedback behind someone's back that you wouldn't give to their face.

I'd still ask her directly first, personally. But if not then no emotion, nothing you can't evidence, nothing she can contradict: "I've noticed that x keeps giving wrong information, and is persistent when I point out her errors. I am going to start ignoring emails where she is wrong rather than correcting her, as her input is not helpful and can be distracting."

It doesn't sound like this will be news to your manager - it's entirely possible to be friends with someone and see their weaknesses. If she repeats it then that's fine, you can evidence it if needed.

[declutteringmymind]

Scrap that just ignore her and get on with your job.

Give your line manager a heads up. 'I hope you do t mind if I give xxx a wide beeth but if you've got any issues with anything I do please let me know. I just find I'm spending too much time replying to her emails when I could be spending time cracking on with things' I'm sure she'll get the hang of it'

The more you reply, the more she'll needle you. If she doesn't do it to anyone else it's borderline victimisation.

[CMOTDibbler]

I have a colleague like this, except she is so awful that my manager now refuses to talk to her, only her manager.
In the spirit of 'not letting her bad energy infect me' as my manager puts it, we now have a policy of copying and pasting from a short list of responses (this was the decision of the team, this is in compliance with procedure or similar), or 'as per my email of the xxth'. It takes all the sting out of it and removes it from our respective headspaces

[Mars27]

@GoodChat and @wildseas good suggestions. I really let her get to me and I shouldn't. She is always proved wrong anyway, I've no idea what kind of pleasure she takes from this whole thing, maybe it's some kind of kink, God knows.

[Mars27]

Without giving too much away, we work in a clinical setting, she is a clinician and I'm admin. My LM and I provide admin support for the clinicians. The clinicians respond to the team manager and I respond to both my LM who's admin lead and to the team manager as well.

Bad Colleague is always implying that I don't do things properly, haven't done things that needed to be done, etc, but always ends up with egg on her face because she's always wrong. However, she keeps copying ppl on her emails which makes me look incompetent so I feel I've got to constantly defend myself.

[wildseas]

I think “please don’t worry, I have that in hand” or “don’t worry Sandra, that sits with me” could be a reasonable option - puts the focus on her anxiety rather than your performance.

[GoodChat]

I could ignore it but 1) they copy your manager in and 2) insist you're wrong when you are not.

Attach the email that proves you're right and then sign off with "please let me know if you need any further clarification"

[Mars27]

@JenniferBarkley

"Happy to hold a quick training session on X if that would be useful."

"Happy to fill you in on the backstory of Y if you're not familiar - we could grab a coffee some time."

Ew no, last thing I want is to have a coffee with her, lol, but I know what you mean.

[JenniferBarkley]

“ I see you cc everyone in one emails. I honestly don’t think you should worry about your job. I’m sure they think you do a good job. Yesterday was just a blip”

This is <chef's kiss>. You probably shouldn't, but oooh you must want to.

[Justforlaffs]

“Are you ok hun”? accompanied by a head tilt and expression of faux concern.

[Arrrrrrragghhh]

Alternatively you could be a viper your self. Attack is the best sort of defence.

Oh, I missed that, I have a headache and email trail was too long"
Oh yes I knew something was wrong with you. You looked terrible this morning when I saw you.

Follow up with “ you sure you’re alright “ with a concerned look every other day. Maybe extend to “ I see you cc everyone in one emails. I honestly don’t think you should worry about your job. I’m sure they think you do a good job. Yesterday was just a blip”