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Original poster

Can I have your best passive aggressive work sentences please?

56 replies

Mars27 · 08/03/2023 11:06

Just that.

How do you respond to that person who is always suggesting you're not doing your job properly even though they're not your manager, just a mere colleague? Do you kill with politeness?

Hope that helps - please don't bother me with this shit anymore
Thanks in advance - do that
As per my last email - pay attention, nitwit

What else?

OP posts:
TheDanceOfTheTomato · 08/03/2023 12:13

"Oh, I missed that, I have a headache and email trail was too long"

"Don't worry about it. It's hard to focus when you have a headache - hope you feel better soon"

Arrrrrrragghhh · 08/03/2023 12:13

I had this. Agree with PP. Speak to your manager and say she’s stressing you out with her attempts to micro manage - have a few examples. Say you are going to have a private word.
Then speak to colleague and explain you feel she’s over stepping. She might not realise what a cock she’s being.

Merlott · 08/03/2023 12:16

Stop responding!

Long email trails never go well. It should be a meeting if more than 3 replies.

"Happy to chat this through" is a nice way to sign off, it means "now F off and stop emailing"

declutteringmymind · 08/03/2023 12:18

To emails just call them out!

'Thanks for the reminder, everything is in hand'< then if they remind you again, just forward them the above email.

Also things like 'I wasn't aware it needed to be carried out sooner than xxx date'

'Thank you for the reminder, I'm sure it will be done/finished/sent/ on time as I usually do'

Original poster
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 12:21

@LordEmsworth the latter. The fact she is friends with my line manager makes it difficult for me to raise anything with her because I know LM'll blab to Bad Colleague in the first opportunity. My line manager just won't be professional in this situation as I know they're close friends. However, I can't raise that directly with the team manager because I'd be going over my LM's head, ideally I should raise with her first.

I do feel that raising that will only makes things worse for me in the long run because of their friendship and my team manager being a limp dick a bit soft.

I feel like I'm playing baseball and constantly batting her latest "point" away. It's all very tiring

OP posts:
JenniferBarkley · 08/03/2023 12:23

"Happy to hold a quick training session on X if that would be useful."

"Happy to fill you in on the backstory of Y if you're not familiar - we could grab a coffee some time."

Arrrrrrragghhh · 08/03/2023 12:24

Alternatively you could be a viper your self. Attack is the best sort of defence.

Oh, I missed that, I have a headache and email trail was too long"
Oh yes I knew something was wrong with you. You looked terrible this morning when I saw you.

Follow up with “ you sure you’re alright “ with a concerned look every other day. Maybe extend to “ I see you cc everyone in one emails. I honestly don’t think you should worry about your job. I’m sure they think you do a good job. Yesterday was just a blip”

Justforlaffs · 08/03/2023 12:28

“Are you ok hun”? accompanied by a head tilt and expression of faux concern.

JenniferBarkley · 08/03/2023 12:28

“ I see you cc everyone in one emails. I honestly don’t think you should worry about your job. I’m sure they think you do a good job. Yesterday was just a blip”

This is <chef's kiss>. You probably shouldn't, but oooh you must want to.

Original poster
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 12:29

JenniferBarkley · 08/03/2023 12:23

"Happy to hold a quick training session on X if that would be useful."

"Happy to fill you in on the backstory of Y if you're not familiar - we could grab a coffee some time."

Ew no, last thing I want is to have a coffee with her, lol, but I know what you mean.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 08/03/2023 12:30

I could ignore it but 1) they copy your manager in and 2) insist you're wrong when you are not.

Attach the email that proves you're right and then sign off with "please let me know if you need any further clarification"

wildseas · 08/03/2023 12:34

I think “please don’t worry, I have that in hand” or “don’t worry Sandra, that sits with me” could be a reasonable option - puts the focus on her anxiety rather than your performance.

Original poster
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 12:34

Without giving too much away, we work in a clinical setting, she is a clinician and I'm admin. My LM and I provide admin support for the clinicians. The clinicians respond to the team manager and I respond to both my LM who's admin lead and to the team manager as well.

Bad Colleague is always implying that I don't do things properly, haven't done things that needed to be done, etc, but always ends up with egg on her face because she's always wrong. However, she keeps copying ppl on her emails which makes me look incompetent so I feel I've got to constantly defend myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 12:37

@GoodChat and @wildseas good suggestions. I really let her get to me and I shouldn't. She is always proved wrong anyway, I've no idea what kind of pleasure she takes from this whole thing, maybe it's some kind of kink, God knows.

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 08/03/2023 12:38

I have a colleague like this, except she is so awful that my manager now refuses to talk to her, only her manager.
In the spirit of 'not letting her bad energy infect me' as my manager puts it, we now have a policy of copying and pasting from a short list of responses (this was the decision of the team, this is in compliance with procedure or similar), or 'as per my email of the xxth'. It takes all the sting out of it and removes it from our respective headspaces

declutteringmymind · 08/03/2023 12:40

Scrap that just ignore her and get on with your job.

Give your line manager a heads up. 'I hope you do t mind if I give xxx a wide beeth but if you've got any issues with anything I do please let me know. I just find I'm spending too much time replying to her emails when I could be spending time cracking on with things' I'm sure she'll get the hang of it'

The more you reply, the more she'll needle you. If she doesn't do it to anyone else it's borderline victimisation.

LordEmsworth · 08/03/2023 12:45

Ah! Well that's easy. Be honest, and factual, and accept that it'll be repeated to her - and do not be defensive, it's very easy for that to be interpreted as aggression. Nothing to be embarrassed about - never give feedback behind someone's back that you wouldn't give to their face.

I'd still ask her directly first, personally. But if not then no emotion, nothing you can't evidence, nothing she can contradict: "I've noticed that x keeps giving wrong information, and is persistent when I point out her errors. I am going to start ignoring emails where she is wrong rather than correcting her, as her input is not helpful and can be distracting."

It doesn't sound like this will be news to your manager - it's entirely possible to be friends with someone and see their weaknesses. If she repeats it then that's fine, you can evidence it if needed.

MooBaggage · 08/03/2023 12:46

As someone who is admin and works with clinicians I feel your pain! You have to become the Master at positive replies because you know they'll never (ever) change...

So just keep things positive - and if a query is taking too many emails or you're being accused of doing something wrong, try and take it off line - literally reply to say "No problem - shall we take this offline?" and that will close down the email correspondence. Then reply directly to her with the info - and then I would forward that to your line manager to let them know it's all sorted out.

It's a pain in the neck - but keep the audit trails and keep it uber professional and positive so that you can never be accused of being obstructive!

Shannith · 08/03/2023 12:48

Rest easy in the knowledge that everyone who is unwillingly cced into the emails has her card marked as an insecure twat. No one wants to be randomly cced by people not professional enough to sort thing out themselves.

Agree with @CMOTDibbler. Stop the personal engagement. Write 3-5 generic process/rules based responses e.g this has been/will be completed line with department procedure x. doc and just c&p as required.

One liners. Boring facts. Copy and paste.

Do not get passive aggressive unless you want to continue the irritation forever, with the odd frisson of fuck you. PA just perpetuates it.

It's the professional equivalent of grey rock.

Shannith · 08/03/2023 12:50

As in the short c&p answers = grey rock

PA responses just continue the drama and the headspace.

BruceAndNosh · 08/03/2023 12:57

"Noted"

Tanfastic · 08/03/2023 12:57

Admin to clinicians here. I wouldn't get embroiled if it were me. If it were me I'd speak to colleague directly rather than by email to see if you can iron out any issues. If they don't get it (which no disrespect to clinicians, some aren't au fait with admin processes) then you refer to your line manager. This is your line manager's job to clarify. I honestly wouldn't care if they are friends. You speak to your line manager and explain you don't appreciate the emails can she please sort it out. That is what she's paid to do op.

I'm lucky though, my line manager stamps on anything like this straight away and untangles any issues there may be between admin and clinicians.

N27 · 08/03/2023 13:00

Could you just face into it in a very obvious, factual, and non emotive way ie

”x, this is the 8th email you have sent in the past two weeks in which you seem to suggest I have not performed my work correctly, and each time I have responded to show that I have. Rather than include other colleagues on this each time would it be possible for us to have a conversation directly next time? Thanks”

Original poster
Mars27 · 08/03/2023 13:11

I won't reply to each one of you directly but I just wanted to say a massive thanks to everyone, some great suggestions and some of them I already do which shows me I'm in the right path. Keep it brief, short and I can't be too scared to raise with my LM if she keeps pulling that kind of shit tbh. Thank you all Smile

OP posts:
Hartlebury · 08/03/2023 13:13

doubleshotcappuccino · 08/03/2023 11:31

Forwarding the previous email trail that proves your point with a " please see below"

I have to do this a terrifying amount of times a week.