Can manager prevent me from going to HR?

[hairup]

I have started a new job and my line manager is best friends with 2 toxic colleague, who say horrible things about all the other colleagues.

Today my line manager disclosed something to them about an email I had sent her which encouraged them to start slagging me off in front of all my colleagues. One told me what was being said.

One of the comments amounted to how she is going to "fuck with me". I think she is going to try to sabotage my work from what I can gather.

I have been encouraged to complain to HR about the three of them, as they feel that the are bullies and get away with disclosing personal info about colleagues.

My line manager much to everyone's dismay, is being given a role soon that will make her privy to the mental health of all of us. Nobody wants to go to her for any well being ambassador, due to her indiscretions and because she is part of the bully group,

I have tried to call a meeting with her manager, but I get the feeling that I am being fobbed off. I am only allowed a group meeting with my team which includes one of the bullies tomorrow.

I do not want to stand for this as I feel I am being bullied. Can I report it to HR without the managers blessing?

Standing up for yourself isn't the bit that makes you sound naive. Like I said, if you understand the risks and that's how you feel, then that's perfectly valid.

It's more just a general lack of understanding about how this stuff works. And also maybe your communication style. If you do go ahead and submit a grievance, you might want to get someone unconnected to the organisation to read through it for you to ensure that it sounds suitably professional.

OK, so you could complain about how it creates a negative environment that affects you. That's fair enough, but again, you'll need to evidence your claims as much as possible.

Lol I'm talking in my everyday style - not how I would talk to HR!

I know how it works, I have already said they will try and pick on me more if I do it. What am I naive about? I am just saying I don't need the job, so if not tolerating bullies mean I get sacked - so be it!

Fair enough, OP. Obviously, we don't know you so we can only comment on how things come across on here. I wasn't intending to cause offence.

Absolutely go to HR & complain about her becoming MH ambassador based on her lack of discretion. She's disgraceful.

None taken. Thank you for trying to give me helpful advice, as I was very upset

I hope things get better for you soon.

When it comes down to it, your witness won't commit anything in writing. I've seen it time and time again. Some people enjoy winding people up and getting them to put in complaints but when push comes to shove they are nowhere to be found.

Honestly just look after yourself, everyone else can fight their own battles.

Yes totally agree, plus she was actively shit stirring by doing it. How kind and compassionate!

@SpeccyHotdog my witness has already agreed to do it tomorrow!

And she told them she was doing it too - some people aren't cowards and still have integrity these days thankfully.

Leave. The route you are thinking of taking is likely to make your mental health worse - for a long time.
People will gee you along because we all love a drama and a fight. "Yay - stick it to the man - you show 'em!"

Reality is it's unlikely people will actually want to go on record (unless they are thinking of leaving too). And no-one really wants to lose their actual job for a colleague.

What did the boss actually say? Did they disclose anything they were privy to as part of their role, ( or did they just not like you/ agree with your email)?.

As for her promotion - Managers sometimes have to be made aware of their teams' personal issues (as part of their job). Unless you have evidence this is being abused there's not much you can say about that.

You can raise a grievance - but what do you want to achieve? Money? The boss to change? The other colleagues to change? I think you need to think it through - and if you're sure that's the route you want to take - go for it.

Nah I don't submit to bullies!

OP if you don't care about losing your job (don't say that at work) but it's great to think 3 bullies will be hauled over the coals. I hope they're disciplined at the very least and a bullying policy should be implemented.

Somebody has threatened to sabotage my work. My witness has already put in her own grievance of things relating to what she has been through.

Am I to not complain about that.

Why are people such cowards these day? My mental health is fine thank you, I just wish to make a complaint it that considered mentally I'll these day. Stick it to the man. No I would like to hold somebody accountable for making g threats behind my back.

This is bizarre how we are meant to cower in corners these days.

Oh thank you so much for that. No I won't say that, it is insensitive.

Honestly it is sad times when complaining about bullies will get you the sack.

A lot of people say that the other person is a bully if they don't like what they are being told to do. (Doesn't mean that person is a bully).

They say he/ she is abusive if they disagree and "the boss" asserts their authority. It may or may not be. But being told what to do is sort of what being in a job with a boss is about. Not saying your boss isn't a bully - we don't know.

They say it's whistleblowing if they tell someone their side of the story. (Look up the definition OP)

Part reads: "The wrongdoing you disclose must be in the public interest. This means it must affect others, for example the general public"

I somehow don't think the General Public is interested in why you think your boss is being horrible to an employee who's been working for a matter of months.

As for bullying - there might be another side of the story, (there usually is). And any investigation will look into that. But I doubt you'll agree with me.

Good luck with whatever route you opt for.

What part of they threatened to sabotage my work today to you not understand?

All the other drivel you spout is not related. I have been told I am doing really well at work!

Can't wait if they investigate. I would love that!

Surely you can all ask for all your data and all emails where you're named. Then you'll all have proof. Or is that only possible when a grievance has already been raised?

It certainly would be. But you haven't been sacked yet! Nor have they been dealt with. I admire your courage and sense of justice. I hope you get the same reaction at work.

Sorry I am not sure what you mean.

Even my another manager told me to complain, because they were saying dragging her into it saying she doesn't like me etc. This was all said aloud and not through emails.

@Monty27 I like the work and the other colleagues are all so lovely and supportive. It is such a shame that there are these bad apples that others seem intimidated by.

Luckily I don't get intimidated and you are so right, justice is so important to me. I would just dust myself off and get another job, if I can't complain about threats being made to sabotage my work - then I don't what the hell is going on in the world of work.

I mean you would be admired and not necessarily become a fall guy. Sounds like you have support from some colleagues too.
If your employer doesn't deal with this correctly they're not worth working for anyway.

Bit of a cross post there.