Can't hold down a job. Very low.

[Effed]

Please be gentle with me, I am very tender and am seriously considering how black/bleak my future looks.

I had a head injury inc brain bleed 18 months ago.

I've been a teacher for years.

I had to leave my job because I couldn't be off sick forever & when I tried to go back, my employer put me on capability. My union argued it, to no avail.

I was devastated.

I have been working at temporary jobs since, but nothing sticks.
Today I have a letter from my latest temporary job, saying that they are reviewing my probation. It's not looking good for me.

I'm feeling very low, thinking is difficult since my head injury. I feel really frustrated with myself, but I can't make myself well, or make my mind think properly.

What the heck do I do for a job now?
I'm clearly not up to Teaching any more.

To reiterate, I am devastated.

How about looking at local universities for any student service roles/ pastoral roles/ academic support?

I work at in a university (ex teacher) and there are lots of staff that are from education backgrounds, across all kinds of roles.

It sounds like you've had a terrible experience. But also sounds like you're better off out of it.

Academisation of schools has a lot to answer for and I think we are only just seeing the start of it. I think it's role in recruitment/ retention is far larger than anyone acknowledges yet... but that's for another post.

Over an hour and i forgot yet another thing I wanted to say! What are your DH and DC saying about your immediate future plans/careers etc? If they are along the lines of "slow down a bit, you don't have to worry so much, it will be OK, stop feeling guilty and relax" etc etc - they mean it! They're not just saying it to be kind or polite, so take it on board. (This is completely hypocritical as I can't take my own advice, i dont listen to them but I've finally realised they actually do mean it and are^ asking^ me to look after myself, not just trying to make me feel better).

How long did you teach for? And how did you decide what to do next? Apologies for the nosiness, I'm asking as I'm not sure where to begin:
I taught for 11years. Deciding what to do next was tricky at first because I was so stuck in the ‘I am a teacher’ mindset.

Most importantly I decided whatever job I went into would be temporary while I figured everything out - a bit like a gap year. It took a huge amount of pressure off. I started working in a really chill job - the kind you where you finish work and don’t bring any home with you.

Because I knew in my mind it was temporary and therefore not very important it allowed me less stress and more healing time (which with a brain injury I imagine will be a huge benefit!) And time to try to figure out what I wanted to do next. So for you that might be something relating to teaching, or something completely different: retraining, starting a new career, staying in the temporary job, anything!

Someone upthread mentioned tutoring but you implied limited evening time = limited income.

The tutor we are using for dd for the 11+ does groups of 5 kids at a time. 3.30-4.30, 4.30-5.30 and 5.30-6.30. £20 a head, 5 days a week.

Then for 1:1 tutoring, it's £30 a head. I know she does 2 on a Saturday morning.

So by my estimates, that is over £1500 for a single week! She works year round with the standards breaks over half terms, Christmas etc but still available for 1:1.

And she isn't the most expensive in this area either - a friends son goes to one that does groups of 10 at £30 a head, and 2 groups each evening.

So perhaps worth looking into - obviously it would take time to build the reputation, but don't dismiss it instantly as a limited earning potential

@Effed -TP retirement on ill health grounds doesn't work like that. It will not run out in later life. It is not a pot of money that decreases every year.
You would simply be receiving the full pension award for much longer - in fact for the rest of your life.

From the TP website
If, during your teaching career, you become ill and are unable to work you can apply for Ill-health retirement. This allows you to access your pension benefits before your Normal Pension Age (NPA) without the usual reduction applied to an early retirement pension.

Once the pension is awarded it is for the rest of your life. Your annual income from it will continue as long as you live. It won't run out, and it is index-linked, so rises every year to keep pace with inflation.

There are timescales for making a claim for this so please don't delay. Contact your union - I can't believe they haven't advised you on this!! It is a major part of the TP benefits if you are unable to work in teaching.

Did you have an MRI OP? Are you satisfied with the investigations re your condition?

@Effed we are very similar. I have cognitive impairment due to a neurological issue. I'm also in the SW.

Some days I'm fine and a clever cloggs. Some days I'm drooling and can't hold a pen. I was also turned down for PIP.

It is very difficult to get work at the moment. And I just wanted to offer a handhold. X

Thank you @Soproudoflionesses, I am so grateful just for the kindness people on this thread have shown me and others. It helps, it all helps more than you can go.

@FrustratedHead thank you so much, I do understand how difficult it can be to communicate clearly, though your post is perfect. I understand you, I know where you're coming from (metaphorically)!

Galling as this may be; no, it doesn't take me long to write these posts. As long as I am not in the middle of a pressured situation I can write clearly and quickly. If I am under pressure I sometimes can't even remember my own name.

My DH is excellent, there is little pressure coming from him. Though I do have to work. I don't need to be earning a fortune, minimum wage would be fine, but I do need to earn something.

My DCs? They are young adults, they are not unique in that they are starting their lives, building their own worlds and, in common with other people doing this, I have to admit that they can be selfish. They expect us, their parents, to be the same as we always have been, despite the fact that they have grown and changed themselves.

They knew about the accident when it happened, they can't understand why I haven't just bounced back from it.
We have tried to explain, it is difficult.
They want me to be the old me and they want it now.

It's tricky, we are doing our best with our DCs, they aren't children anymore.
We have given them all enough money to set them up for life.
They own houses because of us and they don't have any student debt.
That doesn't make us hero parents, it makes us parents who did the best we could with what we had at the time.

I've just spoken to DH who is going to dig out the insurance policy today and we will look through it to see if we can make a claim.

I'm going to speak to my union about the TPS.

And reapply for PIP.

I'd love to take a year off, though I can't, not completely.
I do understand the need to slow down, if I can, I will.

One of the most difficult things about my accident was that it happened during Covid, albeit towards the end of Covid. The result has been that an already stretched NHS has been slow to offer rehabilitation and support.

The neurology team wanted to remove me from their case load 6 months ago. Thank heavens DH pointed out the reasons I still needed help.

To everyone who has mentioned helpful charities, thank you. I'm going to do some ringing round this afternoon.

But again… who would you make the insurance claim against??

In your investigations, have you had an mri?

@PennywisePoundFoolish thank you, I'm going to email both of those teaching agencies today.

@FrustratedHead I don't want you to think that I am ignoring your post, far from it. You have my sympathy and any support I can offer you. I'm still taking in everything you have said.

Yours is a post that I'm going to keep coming back to.

@bluelid Unis are on my list - thank you 😊.

Aahh Academisation...I could write plenty about the insidious nature of academies, not just for teachers, but for students too.

@AvoNw that's a really useful mindset - it's only temporary.
That, just that will help me more than I can explain.
In the end, everything is temporary, isn't it?

@geminiflanagan do you know where your tutoring friend advertises?
This is a wall I have encountered when considering tutoring.
I did advertise on Facebook, but didn't get anything back.

Thank you @seekingasimplelife. Can I do this myself? Or does it have to be via a Union? I'm not in a teacher's union any longer as I am not necessarily classroom teaching, so I needed a Union that could be more flexible.

@Vegrocks I've had quite a few MRIs, all seems to be healing outwardly. Thing is that the brain is a complex piece of kit. It took 8 months for me to speak properly again after the accident. Yet outwardly, all seemed fine.

Thank you @Preparepepper you do sound similar and I'm sorry. I really would not wish this on my worst enemy, and certainly not on someone who is kind enough to offer support to a random stranger on the internet. I'm always happy to compare notes if you want to PM me.

@Soproudoflionesses clearly that should be helps more than you can know

See? @FrustratedHead I'm not so clever after all 😆

@Vegrocks we are going to look at our home insurance to see whether it has a critical injury clause. The injury definitely happened in our home/

If you were in the union at the time of your injury, when still teaching, I would contact them and explain the situation. You can apply for it yourself, but it is quite a complex process needing medical reports and information from your employer at the time. Ideally it should have been applied for before you left employment, so if you could secure some support from you union it would be helpful. Some unions have an associate membership for those no longer teaching (reduced subs) so join that if you can.

Have a look at this page on the TP website and the accompanying video.

www.teacherspensions.co.uk/members/working-life/life-events/ill-health.aspx

The OP had extensive Union involvement, though, she says. But perhaps they can do more in helping her to move forward.

@daisypond - yes, this is puzzling. I would have expected the union to have explored and discuss the possibility at the time.

@Effed she advertises on Facebook, is listed on Google obv and then makes her details available to schools. We found her through word of mouth, a friends friend had used her last year. Then of course siblings, cousins etc in subsequent years.

I'm sure it's a challenge to get set up and running, especially if relying on word of mouth, but it sounds incredibly lucrative if you can get established!

@Effed just saw that you are in SW - us too, Plymouth. So those were local rates I mentioned earlier, not up country rates!

So may people would claim they are unable to work if they have been through what you have. I do admire your resolve!

Perhaps take a break and apply for a completely different role via an agency to get an idea of what else you might like to aside from
Teaching?

Forgive me as I don't know detail or if it is applicable but I had a friend who left teaching in a secondary school to train other teachers. She said hours and conditions were much more favourable. Would that be an option?

So sorry to hear what you're going through OP. I may be repeating what others have said, but wanted to mention a few things

• Know that there IS a possibility this will improve. The brain has an amazing capacity for healing - I say this as someone who has had a fractured skull and also worked in the medical field for some years. I'd really strongly suggest looking into some neuro rehab and also asking your hospital team about management of your ongoing symptoms.

• What your employer has done sounds neither legal or ethical to me. You could contact ACAS for some advice on your rights or ask a friend to do this on your behalf?

• There's several charities, such as Headway that support people with brain injury. Perhaps they could help you?

• Have you considered working in the charity sector at all? Charitable organisations can be a lot more compassionate as employers and perhaps you could use your experience to help others?

• If you wanted to stay in teaching, perhaps you could consider online course providers. E.g I saw a job advertised with Corndel recently, which is home based/offers part time hours - could be a way to put your skills to use in a more suitable environment?

@seekingasimplelife and @daisypond if I am honest, this isn't the only way in which my union were crap after the head injury.

Initially, the Union couldn't grasp that I needed DH to be available on calls, I couldn't process even the most simple concepts. Heck, I needed help to eat for the first few weeks.

So no, the Union didn't understand and - if I am being honest - they didn't try to. They were crap.
Or maybe I'm being harsh and they just couldn't comprehend the effects of a head injury. In some ways you have to see it to really understand it.

I've spoken to TPS, I have a list of everything they need, it amounts to medical evidence, and boy, the one thing I do have is a lot of medical evidence.
It might be ok.

Today has been a bad day, the pain in my head is awful today. It woke me up in the early hours of the morning and has been excruciating ever since.

So how am I writing this? Slowly!

@FrustratedHead I feel that I was dismissive, maybe rude, to you yesterday. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be, though that is just another side effect of post-head injury, I misinterpret, I misjudge, I get things wrong.
I can only speak for myself; I have bad days, rather than bad moments in a day. Today has been a bad day, I have taken all the meds, just to be able to get through the headache pain. Today I have produced nothing, done nothing and, even with all of the medication, I am finding it hard to focus.

This thread has been the catalyst for some conversations with DH. We have some money, he says that he is happy for me to take a chunk of it and find something, or a combination of things, that I could learn and use to make a living.

As someone who has always relied on my brain, my education and my knowledge, this is probably a time to focus on work requiring practical skills, rather than my academic background.

I'm in the fortunate position to consider 'what can I do?' with what and who I am now, and 'what would I like to do?'

He's good, DH. Even when the world seems incredibly bleak, he doesn't let me lose hope.

Life after teaching Facebook page, look it up. You can absolutely tutor and make a big wage.