Can't hold down a job. Very low.

[Effed]

Please be gentle with me, I am very tender and am seriously considering how black/bleak my future looks.

I had a head injury inc brain bleed 18 months ago.

I've been a teacher for years.

I had to leave my job because I couldn't be off sick forever & when I tried to go back, my employer put me on capability. My union argued it, to no avail.

I was devastated.

I have been working at temporary jobs since, but nothing sticks.
Today I have a letter from my latest temporary job, saying that they are reviewing my probation. It's not looking good for me.

I'm feeling very low, thinking is difficult since my head injury. I feel really frustrated with myself, but I can't make myself well, or make my mind think properly.

What the heck do I do for a job now?
I'm clearly not up to Teaching any more.

To reiterate, I am devastated.

I did speak to a solicitor who said that they couldn't move forward with any claim, because I would effectively be sueing (is that the spelling) my husband and me.

Now, I did think 'but we have insurance, surely this is covered by that?'

what do you mean op…. You would be paying?

@backawayfatty1, not only is that good, constructive advice, and thank you for that, I will take a look at Lloyds. I used to run my own department, was an assistant Head and a DSL at a large secondary, was SLT. I do have transferable skills. I find it hard to convey that.

@Starflecked your post is very comprehensive, and helpful. You are right about spelling out my transferable skills, I think that teaching is so full of acronyms we sometimes forget that the rest of the world doesn't understand! Everything you say is useful and I am taking it on board.

Again @Orangesandlemons77, thank you.

I am so sorry. Its hard to know how to begin to navigate the system sometimes

More children are moving to learning online now. My son went to interhigh (online school) during the pandemic and loved it and there are some other similar providers around too. That might be an option?.

I have quite a bad in invisible disability and you are right that the difference between being able to work and not is really down to having a supportive employer.

I hope you find a way through this.

I have a charity for my condition that gives a lot of tailored support and advice - perhaps there is a similar organisation that can help you?

Definitely @TooManyPlatesInMotion, I am very interested in the online schooling sector, it's finding the jobs that I am struggling with. I'm unsure how to break into it.

@Commonsensitivity I could work in childcare, though in a way this would be more strenuous. I'm certainly qualified. Thank you for understanding.

@Vegrocks I'm starting a new post to answer your question.
One morning I woke up looking like I had been in the ring with Tyson.
Any more than that I can't tell you, I have no memory of what happened.

One theory is that something happened the day before, though I hadn't suffered any slips, trips or falls.

Another possibility is that I fell asleep on the loo in the night and hit my head on the corner of the sink.

However, it is all conjecture. We have no idea what or how it happened.

If it did happen in the night somehow I got back into bed.

I was answering the question about compensation, the solicitor I spoke to said that as the accident was in the home, I would have to sue myself. Which I can't do.
We do have comprehensive home insurance and I have been wondering whether I can make a claim on that. Again though, without knowing what happened it would be difficult to do.

I don’t have any advice OP but just want to say that I’m sorry for what’s happened to you. I can sense your sadness and I hope things get better for you.

@seekingasimplelife yes, I am in the TPS. No-one has suggested taking early retirement, though it is something that I have considered.
My concern is that my TPS is meant for my old age, I am hesitant to take the money now as I won't have anything to live on in later life.

Thank you @GordonShakespearedoesChristmas, everything you say is both helpful and makes excellent sense.

I'll take a look at Indeed again @AngelDelightUK, I must be using the wrong search terms, if you can suggest what I should be searching for (particularly location) I would be very grateful.

I'm not on LinkedIn @HedwigIsMyDemon, IME it's not something that teachers use very much. Though as I am moving away from teaching that is a very good idea.

You would have to sue yourself??

op… there was no one to sue clearly. Who did you think you could sue?

Please reapply for PIP, they always turn down the first application.

Ask CAB or a relevant charity to support you with the form filling.
Remember you are writing about the worst days.

in the interview describe your very worst day, what would happen if you pass out etc.
Sending you a big cwtch 💐

@nofluffsgiven absolutely, I agree with you. Finding something to pay the bills would be just fine, it's what to do that I'm unsure about.

No @MrsMoastyToasty, I haven't sought much help at all. I've always been self sufficient, asking for help goes against the grain. The second problem is where and who to ask for help, it's difficult to know what any given charity can and can't do to help me. If you know anything about this, I would be very grateful for any suggestions you can make.

@PennywisePoundFoolish would you mind letting me know which FB groups these are? I didn't home educate my own DCs and home education has come a long way in the past 15 years. Please PM me if you would be comfortable giving me more information.

Are there any universities around you? I only ask as they usually recruit using skills based questions in their applications rather than just a submission of cv. This means you get the opportunity to demonstrate examples of your skills in greater detail. Have a look at non academic roles they have. I work for one and recently had a teacher join the educational outreach team. She has only ever been a teacher but now coordinates projects that bring primary and secondary schools in for tours of university life to get children exposure etc.

@FiveHundredDucksWentOutOneDay this morning I took the bull firmly by the horns and told my company HR and their overarching company that I have a disability.

I know that I should have declared my disability upfront. The problem is this; companies say that they do not discriminate, the truth is that they really do.

It's sad as I still have so much to offer. I'm trying not to think about it too much, as it would be far too easy to fall down a hole of self-pity. If I let myself get too down I could really become depressed.

I'm currently teaching 4 hour lessons without a break. Surprisingly, this is fine. I can do it without any problems and the feedback from my students is that they really enjoy my lessons.

My problems are that firstly, I'm not taking any breaks at all. I am working for at least 8 hours straight every day, in front of a screen, often I don't even get up for a loo break, all day.

My second difficulty is reading and completing complex documentation, which is new to me (at least, the wording is new to me), and it has to be absolutely accurate.
IMO the company is fairly new and they are being over-cautious, but my job is my job, and I am doing what I am told.

The difficulty I have is not teaching online for long periods of time, it is reading and completing the new, complex documentation.

To give you an idea, the documentation is pitched at degree or post-grad level.
That's where I am struggling.

Thank you @Fifi0000, I will contact Headway now and discuss the situation with them.
That is very helpful.

Can you appeal your PIP claim on the basis that no employer will hold you due to reduced capacity? I would definitely look into that.

As others have said tutoring is an option. Lots of people are home schooling now post pandemic which means they need online tutor support

No, because PIP isn’t related to employment. You can work and get PIP.
I think the OP should appeal, definitely. I think she is entitled.

@SweetSakura thank you and I am sorry that you face challenges too 

@LocationLocationLocomotion thank you, just thank you.

@Vegrocks I can't sue anyone, my original answer was in response to a question about claiming recompense for my injury.

@IamEarthymama thank you, the CAB are on my list too! They are difficult to get hold of, I know many people are having a hard time.

@Hillrunning I would love a Uni outreach job and yes, there are a few within commutable distance from me.

@YukoandHiro and @daisypond I am definitely going to reapply for PIP and appeal when they turn me down.

You poor thing op, what a trauma.
I hope you get the suppprt you need and are entitled to.

Op you're getting lots of practical advice and I want to send good vibes to you because you're going through such a terrible time and I really feel for you.

I'd like to emphasise that's its possible to recover really well from brain injuries but it does take a long time and you need to be kind to yourself and patient while you heal and convalesce.

I suffered cognitive effects from a concussion for several months after the injury and think it effected my health (brain health and mental health) for a couple of years afterwards..there were other things going on too but I do believe that these linger much longer than we expect.

Definitely liaise with the charities suggested and also speak to the Brain Injury Rehabilitation Trust. www.thedtgroup.org/brain-injury/

Focus on getting the practical help and support you need, don't stand on your dignity.

Your husband can and should be taking over the action of looking into whether you can make a claim on any insurance policy (did you have a critical injury policy?).

Charities and your gp should also be able to help with paperwork for PIP and employee support.

Ask your gp for rehabilitation through the nhs.

Outsource as much as you can so that your energy and is focused on rest and recuperation. The brain is a marvellously adaptive and plastic organ, but good holistic rest is important.

Good nutrition, healthy sleep routine, daylight and fresh air, physical and mental rest all help. Daily meditation is proven to help a lot with fatigue and concentration too. Focus on the basics, they'll make a difference. X

To everyone who has responded on this thread: thank you.

Thank you for not writing me off, or assuming that I am useless.

Also, thank you to those of you who recognised how heavily this is weighing on me and the toll it has taken.
I am fighting every day, determined not to be dragged down into a dark place.

Many of you have mentioned charities and suggested job roles or areas.
If you have any concrete names of places to look, or companies who may consider me, Facebook groups for home tuition, anything, please do PM me.

For all of your help, support, consideration and kindness you have made me cry and I am grateful for all of you.

Thank you

@Effed I forgot to mention - ASTRID is a charity that helps people with chronic health conditions find work

@Effed Oh and one more thing! The Curable programme is very effective for helping chronic pain - currently half price, take a look x

Headway is an excellent brain injury charity

I have seen adverts from KITETLS for tutors etc, not sure the area you want but they do some online stuff. www.kitetls.co.uk/ email is recruitment@ kitletls. co. uk without the spaces.

I haven't seen a recent advert but Gecko Community actively recruit ND tutors, do a lot of online stuff, so they may be a more understanding employee with your particular injury, so may be worth submitting your CV speculatively? admin@ geckocommunity. org .uk. again without the spaces.
I promise I don't work for either of them, they just appear a good match for you.

@Effed I am someone in a fairly similar scenario (albeit my "trigger" was not as traumatic as yours but our current situation seem very similar). I totally recognise your desire to pick up your old life/your previous "cognitive" abilities/physical abilities so quickly. I'm a few years on from it and I really understand what you're saying. It's so hard. Would I be right in saying your posts (especially your OP) took you quite a while and effort to word and put together? They are obviously completely articulate so please don't think I'm saying that they aren't! I'm saying I can recognise for myself the work you've put in and how you've taken the time and perhaps it's frustrated you a little that it's been so hard even just to do this thread? I will try and find any similar threads I started a few years back as they may be comforting for you.

Anyway. With the benefit of hindsight, this is what I would go back and say to myself 18 months in, so I hope you don't take it the wrong way 

You are only 18 months on, that is such a little time, especially for the "rehab" you've had to have. Stop trying to run and pick up the threads so quickly. (If I was actually talking to myself I'd say calm the fuck down  )

It's very very very hard to come to terms with such a life changing situation with such long lasting serious effects. My neurologist said see it as though you have had a previous life of many years (eg I had over 35 years of good health behind me!) but now you have to completely change direction, you can't do it immediately. it's like steering a really big heavy lorry ( obviously he explained it a lot better but ironically I can't remember the exact wording!) It's not as though you've just braked immediately to a stop and can just instantly get back to driving at 60mph. You've got a load of gear changes ahead and you just have to accept it's not 0-60 in 3 seconds.

That rang such a bell with me. I was so anxious to return to my old life exactly as it was and it took me a long time to realise I couldn't just do that. I'm an impatient hurrying type of person at the best of times and it felt like I was being forced to be passive and sit quietly when I just wanted to run (preferably as fast and as far away from what had just happened to me) So fucking FRUSTRATING.

All these suggestions of different jobs are really helpful (some really good ideas) but perhaps your best "investment" right at the moment would be to take more time to work things out and get a bit of distance. I know it's easy to say that but not easy to do yourself, if there are immediate financial worries! and I do roll my eyes myself at people saying "nothing is worth the cost of your life" when you have bills to pay, but there is some truth in it. If you were still in hospital you'd have no choice, just because you're home doesn't mean you're ready to do as much as you really want to.

Who is supporting you medical wise - neurology? They should be able to give you useful contacts/links, Headway is a good one and actually epilepsy societies/forums may be useful especially for the "blacking out" periods (are they seizures? Absence/focal perhaps not tonic clinic?) Even if they aren't classed in exactly that term, the effects are very similar so there are a lot of practical solutions which have helped me hugely eg don't use a kettle, use a one cup dispenser thing, have useful information on your phone Home Screen for any disorientation eg telephone numbers, or a smart watch with alert facility...there's loads. Just stuff like that made me feel like I was doing something to help myself. Your local council should also be able to do a care needs assessment and advise on any adaptations, that's a whole subject worthy of another thread! As is your family life, DH and DCs. They sound supportive which is so good but I know how extensive the ripples are for something like this.

Anyway, at the risk of sounding like Ferris fucking Bueller perhaps it's a good time to slow down a bit, rather than trying to get new career/job right now, put that time into yourself, the internal investment not external (if that makes any sense?) your job/career search will actually be more successful if you take this time now to speak to your medical team (and whoever they recommend and the support mentioned in this thread) and be realistic about what you can't do - this is easier if you think of it as what I can't do at the moment. (Yeah, at the moment, just stop working without taking breaks, you'll fuck yourself up, sort of advice . Short shifts are more doable and make you'll feel you're succeeding getting through four hours than fucking up eight hours if that makes sense. But you need to spend time patiently working all this out with your medical team and the right third party support. It's shit, I know!

I'm not very articulate myself these days, this has taken me over an hour to type! and I'm sure it's a bit waffly but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, people do understand and know what it feels like and it will get easier. I promise. Please do feel free to PM me if you want to.