Work suddenly asking to be in office more

[twix23]

I started at the company I work for in August last year. I'm a mum of 2 and the job was ideal, I could work from home everyday, n it was super flexi hours. They had an office in London (one of those wework rent a space for a day ones) but said I didn't need to go in, only if I wanted to, maybe 1x a month! I explained my situation and how due to childcare and the hours my kids could be looked after, London was not doable very often for me at all (it's 2 hrs each way on trains) and they said no problem, just when I can or if a company event/training is happening but that's not often. Fast forward to now, I'm 5 months pregnant with my 3rd baby, I've passed my probation, but we have a new office space in London that the company rent monthly now. A new director started a month ago and he's now demanding us all in at least once a week, ideally 2-3 times. My manager now keeps pestering me now about going in 1 day a week to keep this director happy. To do this I need to ask a huge favour of my retired parents every week to get to my house super early and leave super late, to look after my kids, something they don't really want to do (the hours, not looking after them!) as I need to leave the house at 6.40am, and I don't get home until 7pm. My partner finishes work around 6.30pm n leaves at7.30am. My parents live an hours drive away. Not only that, I am exhausted this pregnancy and finding it really tough mentally and physically this time round, still being sick too, everydays a struggle atm! So travelling into London and the underground even once a week is so tiring for me and tbh, I get more done at home anyway, it just feels so pointless. Would you stand your ground here, and say it's not what I signed up for, childcare is a struggle and just refuse? I don't want to lose my job over it (so anxious currently so over thinking everything of course) but my manager says this director seems pretty serious about everyone needing to be in the office more. Help!

OP has said this is a combination of his parents and her parents 3 days per week and a childminder 2 days a week

That’s nice 🙄

It’s not really about when you get to work, it’s about when childcare hours start.

Ok here it’s starts at 6. Her DH would have step up on that one day a week. It’s his children too. It’s still not ’super early’.

Provision round here starts at 0800, you might get a breakfast hour for a fee at 0700.

Anyway, the super early was in the context of her retired parents getting to her house first thing when they live an hour away. I think we can agree that a 5.30 start for retired people is pretty damm early 😀

That I agree with! 😂

It would be difficult to terminate and re engage on a 50% salary differential but not so hard on things like hours, start time, location.
I've done a fair few during my time as a HR professional.

So long as the rules are followed (consultation) and there are just business grounds, it's not hard at all to change terms.

Oh OP - if you are looking to split with your boyfriend, can you move nearer to your parents, or would that be difficult for the 12 year old?

other options as it’s really only 18 days you need to cover - is there space at your parents house for dc2 to sleep over the night before, so your parents don’t have to drive over ? (I have presumed your dc2 is preschool aged, although if they are school aged would this still be easier for your parents). If they have dc2 at their house, is there a homework club at your dc1’s school she can go to before coming home to make it a lot less time alone in the house?

the sleepover at grandparents house could work in your favour if you can look at the 18 weeks and pick days that are better to have your dcs at your parents, eg the teachers strike day (dcs could go the night before), school holidays.

and yes, pull dc2 out of childcare for your Mat leave and then settle with a new childminder who will do a long day cover for one day a week so you can get back after Mat leave.

if your relationship is ending, arranging things so you can cope solo is the best option.

Oh and OP it does sound like you have a lot on your plate. Good luck and take care of yourself in the middle of all this.

There are a lot of companies making changes to their WFH policies. Many used the offer of flexibility as a recruiting carrot post Covid but now more and more companies have reversed this requesting at least 1 day a week in the office and I understand why. If you do WFH I think it is probably wise to keep in mind that this situation can change at any point. Making decisions to move more than a commute away from the company offices, assuming you can make childcare arrangements around WFH and doing things like getting a new puppy should all be considered with this in mind.

At my office it was also a big deal when people were asked to return to the office. But we must now be in the office 60% of the time, so big difference to your situation.

Some people moved further away during covid, others got dogs or not sufficient hours of childcare. My employer was very strict about the 60% rule and a fair share of my colleagues left the company.
But some people got “creative arrangements” like working shorter hours on office-days and make longer hours on wfh-days. Some have a long commute by train and already start working on the train.

Ok, well it’s great then if OP has protection while pregnant and can ask to be excused from travelling to work. But what happens after maternity leave? She’ll have even more kids then to sort childcare out for. Yes, it’s shit but I’d start looking for another job, one closer to home after having the baby. Because I assume due to length of time working there you’re not entitled to company maternity pay? Do you have to go back afterwards?

Your employer shouldn’t have told you that you don’t need to go in, as it’s unlikely your contract says that. Unless it does then not much you can do apart from looking for a job closer to home