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Original poster

Work suddenly asking to be in office more

139 replies

twix23 · 05/03/2023 01:10

I started at the company I work for in August last year. I'm a mum of 2 and the job was ideal, I could work from home everyday, n it was super flexi hours. They had an office in London (one of those wework rent a space for a day ones) but said I didn't need to go in, only if I wanted to, maybe 1x a month! I explained my situation and how due to childcare and the hours my kids could be looked after, London was not doable very often for me at all (it's 2 hrs each way on trains) and they said no problem, just when I can or if a company event/training is happening but that's not often. Fast forward to now, I'm 5 months pregnant with my 3rd baby, I've passed my probation, but we have a new office space in London that the company rent monthly now. A new director started a month ago and he's now demanding us all in at least once a week, ideally 2-3 times. My manager now keeps pestering me now about going in 1 day a week to keep this director happy. To do this I need to ask a huge favour of my retired parents every week to get to my house super early and leave super late, to look after my kids, something they don't really want to do (the hours, not looking after them!) as I need to leave the house at 6.40am, and I don't get home until 7pm. My partner finishes work around 6.30pm n leaves at7.30am. My parents live an hours drive away. Not only that, I am exhausted this pregnancy and finding it really tough mentally and physically this time round, still being sick too, everydays a struggle atm! So travelling into London and the underground even once a week is so tiring for me and tbh, I get more done at home anyway, it just feels so pointless. Would you stand your ground here, and say it's not what I signed up for, childcare is a struggle and just refuse? I don't want to lose my job over it (so anxious currently so over thinking everything of course) but my manager says this director seems pretty serious about everyone needing to be in the office more. Help!

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 05/03/2023 08:08

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Women get pregnant. Employers deal with it.

it’s nothing to do with trying to get op to quit, it’s a change of regime at work. And the issue with coming in is primarily not the pregnancy but childcare for existing children.

this comment is not in the spirit of the site.

Soontobe60 · 05/03/2023 08:08

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Pregnant women are perfectly capable of working. Would you say the same if someone was diagnosed with cancer 2 months after starting a new job?

Quveas · 05/03/2023 08:10

If you officially work from home with office attendance being optional then I'd tell them to do one.

Yes, absolutely do that. With less than two years service that will work out so well when the OP gets sacked.

OP, as others have said, negotiating is the only feasible option - if you can manage one day a week and that is accepted then I am afraid that you really need to go with that and start looking for another job as soon as practicable because you clearly can't return to this one after maternity leave. It's unfortunate but requirements do change, and no business is really going to be investing is a permanant office base in London if they can genuinely do without one. So whilst you don't see the need, they do, and in the end, as the employer, it is their busienss need that is paramount.

Lolacat1234 · 05/03/2023 08:10

You need to check your contract. A lot of offices are having this problem at the moment, mine included. Quite a few people moved miles away from the office during lockdown and my department employed people from quite far away during lockdown when the picture wasn't so clear on how things would look post lockdown. So now we have the same being asked, 40% of our time should be in the office now but we have a few outliers where this isn't happening and everyone knows about it so they are finding it very difficult to enforce because lots of people saying "what about them?". Most people in my office are very happy with the hybrid situation (I'm very thankful for the work life balance) and comply with the ask so they are not being militant about it at the moment. It really does vary on manager to manager, my manager very relaxed about it, but another one in my department is very focussed on people showing up. We are asked only to go in when it's meaningful and will make a difference (so for example we plan team meetings on specific days and all come in the office together) but there are a couple in the team who's closest office is actually an hour or so away) who are being asked to just show up there on their own just for the sake of being in the office (they make the effort to come to the office where most of the team are once or twice a month), which annoys me as it's the complete opposite of meaningful attendance, it's just presenteeism and pointless. If your contract states you are WFH they can't do much but if hybrid or office based with occasional work from home they can enforce unfortunately.

NewMum0305 · 05/03/2023 08:10

Yerroblemom1923 · 05/03/2023 07:05

What @Fuctifin0 says! Get back to work. I think in your scenario I may have put off having a third child until I had plans in place for potentially returning to the office.....Your job already sounds super flexible and you'll struggle to find another 100% wfh job that doesn't insist you have childcare in place.

“Get back to work”? People who work from home are working.

Benjispruce4 · 05/03/2023 08:11

Yes but lots are also looking after their kids and doing housework from the sound of it!

LimeCheesecake · 05/03/2023 08:11

OP, another poster referenced other threads- so is your dh not going to be helpful ? Because many childminders would be happy with a 7/7:15am drop off and 6pm pick up. The logical thing to do is have a set day in the office and find a local childminder who’ll accept the dcs that day, with your dh dropping on way to work / collecting on way home. But is he a problem?

DrMarciaFieldstone · 05/03/2023 08:15

One day a week isn’t unreasonable. As PP has said, it’s likely to increase. If the reality is you can’t (won’t) do any office working at all, you need to start thinking about plan B.

I can’t see how a childminder couldn’t cover these hours Ona set day though.

BubziOwl · 05/03/2023 08:16

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Yes, it's totally normal to plan your family around the hurt feelings of private companies...

Original poster
twix23 · 05/03/2023 08:20

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Thanks for your really useful comment

OP posts:
carriedout · 05/03/2023 08:20

Yerroblemom1923 · 05/03/2023 06:53

People were always going to have to go back to work at some point, I think it's naive to think you can wfh and not pay for childcare forever. Bosses are cracking down on this kind of thing.

Hmm

People wfh ARE at work.

The OP was told it was a wfh job.

Original poster
twix23 · 05/03/2023 08:20

SheilaFentiman · 05/03/2023 07:42

Could your parents stay every other (king)weekend and one week you do a Friday and the next a Monday?

We don't have a spare room unfortunately

OP posts:
carriedout · 05/03/2023 08:21

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Misogynistic remark.

It is not 1965, get over it.

Ducksinthebath · 05/03/2023 08:22

twix23 · 05/03/2023 08:20

We don't have a spare room unfortunately

Show quote history

What’s the plan for the third child then? I’d you’re moving is this really a long term job, or is there scope to shorten the commute?

SheilaFentiman · 05/03/2023 08:23

twix23 · 05/03/2023 08:20

We don't have a spare room unfortunately

Show quote history

Ah!

(apologies, I meant “long weekend”)

SheilaFentiman · 05/03/2023 08:23

Ducksinthebath · 05/03/2023 08:22

What’s the plan for the third child then? I’d you’re moving is this really a long term job, or is there scope to shorten the commute?

Show quote history

Well, the third child will be in with them for a few months then probably siblings will share as needed.

freyamay74 · 05/03/2023 08:24

@twix23 what are your current childcare arrangements?

Why can't you employ a childminder one day a week to plug any gap in the current arrangements?

7:30 am - 6 pm is hardly unusual working hours.

You will only need to do this on the day you go to the office

Original poster
twix23 · 05/03/2023 08:25

fajitaaaa · 05/03/2023 07:38

I explained my situation and how due to childcare and the hours my kids could be looked after, London was not doable very often for me at all what's the childcare?

My parents and his parents share 3 days and 2 days DD is with a child minder, but my childminder doesn't have the capacity to increase the hours (currently 9-4) and I really don't want to move her as she's so settled and loves this lady, the first one I tried didn't work out so well so I don't want to do that to my DD again! My partner has nothing to do with childcare as comments have suggested, I sort it all. My eldest DD (12) is at school so she comes home 3.15pm. I can of course work with her there her being older and shutting herself in her room anyway lol, but I don't fancy her being home alone for over 3 hours at all either.

OP posts:
carriedout · 05/03/2023 08:27

The problem you have is that you have only been at the company for a short period, so your rights are limited.

I would therefore get some initial legal advice (it'll only cost a couple of hundred to get an opinion) and accept it if I have to go along with it.

I would only rock the boat if a solicitor advised I had any grounds.

It is IMO unfair because they told you you could do the job from home and are now changing their minds, but being unfair does not always mean you can challenge it.

Original poster
twix23 · 05/03/2023 08:28

We plan to move early next year to a bigger place, same area, for those questioning our room situation. Not that this has anything to do with the OG post!!!!

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 05/03/2023 08:29

Having thought about it, your best bet may be the poster’s idea of saying “ok, I will come in on a Monday” and then bank holidays are covered, your DP can take a few Mondays off and maybe your parents can do a couple (possibly even a travelodge on the Sunday night).

But OP - I now remember your other threads and you will need more robust plans if you are returning to work after Mat leave.

Aozora13 · 05/03/2023 08:31

As some others have said, a lot depends on your contract and relevant policies. At my work, most people are contracted with our London office as a base and our flexible working policy allows us to wfh up to 3 days/week (or possibly 60% can’t remember). It’s not strictly enforced, but it could be. For people who have chosen to move away, they have been moved to wfh contracts which I think include very occasional attendance (again, don’t know the details). Might that be an option for you? There might be a case around custom and practice (ie it’s not policy but it’s how things are done) but you’d want some professional advice on that. Or special adjustments during pregnancy.

SheilaFentiman · 05/03/2023 08:31

Can your elder DD go to a friend’s house one evening a week, or study in the school library for an hour so she’s home less time?

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 05/03/2023 08:31

I haven't read your earlier threads - why can't your husband assist with this?

I would do as a PO suggested, pick Monday as your office day then you might get away with the bank holiday situation in the short term.

Long term, you will need to find a solution if you want to stay with this company. They are not unreasonable to request you in for 1 day per week, although you should expect this to increase at some point.

You've been there less than 2 years so have little rights, except from a pregnancy discrimination point of view.

SheilaFentiman · 05/03/2023 08:34

How do your parents and his share the childcare? Can you go in on one of the days that they cover between them?

DD home alone for 3 hours isn’t ideal but it isn’t terrible, especially for a short while.

(again, your DP should be helping but I’m discounting that)