Work suddenly asking to be in office more

[twix23]

I started at the company I work for in August last year. I'm a mum of 2 and the job was ideal, I could work from home everyday, n it was super flexi hours. They had an office in London (one of those wework rent a space for a day ones) but said I didn't need to go in, only if I wanted to, maybe 1x a month! I explained my situation and how due to childcare and the hours my kids could be looked after, London was not doable very often for me at all (it's 2 hrs each way on trains) and they said no problem, just when I can or if a company event/training is happening but that's not often. Fast forward to now, I'm 5 months pregnant with my 3rd baby, I've passed my probation, but we have a new office space in London that the company rent monthly now. A new director started a month ago and he's now demanding us all in at least once a week, ideally 2-3 times. My manager now keeps pestering me now about going in 1 day a week to keep this director happy. To do this I need to ask a huge favour of my retired parents every week to get to my house super early and leave super late, to look after my kids, something they don't really want to do (the hours, not looking after them!) as I need to leave the house at 6.40am, and I don't get home until 7pm. My partner finishes work around 6.30pm n leaves at7.30am. My parents live an hours drive away. Not only that, I am exhausted this pregnancy and finding it really tough mentally and physically this time round, still being sick too, everydays a struggle atm! So travelling into London and the underground even once a week is so tiring for me and tbh, I get more done at home anyway, it just feels so pointless. Would you stand your ground here, and say it's not what I signed up for, childcare is a struggle and just refuse? I don't want to lose my job over it (so anxious currently so over thinking everything of course) but my manager says this director seems pretty serious about everyone needing to be in the office more. Help!

[endoftheworldniteclub]

It’s hardly ’super early’ to leave the house 6.40am though. At that time I’m usually already at work..

[GonnaGetGoingReturns]

My preferred working pattern (and I said this to an agency a few weeks ago is 2-3 days WFH.

I’m older (51) and have done the whole commuting thing. I also find I get more done at home, it’s the printer/kitchen/toilet/breaks/general chit chat in the office which was starting to slightly irritate me.

I’m currently on a contract for a government department where we’re only expected in the office as/when and our main office is in London and the colleagues work up and down the country but have to travel to London or regional offices as and when. A few government departments have certain days when you’re expected in.

So I’d suggest Mondays to go to the office but you need to sort out childcare. You should also have thought about longer commuting time and what you could manage.

[ANiceBigCupOfTea]

In your shoes I'd ask for an OH referral and make it clear during the assessment that working from home is safer and more comfortable for you at present.

[Boxe]

Where are people seeing other threads suggesting that the OP is in an abusive relationship? I’ve looked and can’t see anything so am wondering if this isn’t the case and is derailing the thread?

[RotundBeagle]

@BluebellBlueballs

Of course they can if they have sufficient business grounds and have gone through a consultation

Wow. Well you learn something new every day!

What's even the point of a contract if they can just say "oh, by the way we're changing your contract. I know we agreed £60k but it's gonna be £30k from next month."

[freyamay74]

@SheilaFentiman ah, I haven't seen the OP's other threads.

I'm not a fan of presenteeism and I quite understand that if some wfh works for everyone- employer and employee, that's great. But in this case, the employer wants the OP in the office once a week, which is only 20% of her working week, it's actually still really favourable conditions. If I was really keen to keep the job, I'd sort out proper childcare and do it. The alternative is to find another job. The OP can probably cobble something together until she goes on mat leave, but there's a longer term issue to sort out.

I'm also a bit confused... have other posts indicated she's trying to leave an abusive relationship? And she's having another child with this man? It's unclear from here whether there's a back story; she just said on here what hours her partner works and that she does the childminder drops because she works shorter hours.

[OntarioBagnet]

@RotundBeagle exactly. Dh actually had this happen to him. Massive pay cut as they said the company was struggling. Obviously everyone had the option to leave. But you can’t do anything apart from suck it up or go. I’ve come to the conclusion contracts are worthless, very few employee rights now. I doubt the OP can claim pregnancy discrimination as it sounds like they’re telling everyone the same

[Balloonpopped]

@RotundBeagle

Wow. Well you learn something new every day!

What's even the point of a contract if they can just say "oh, by the way we're changing your contract. I know we agreed £60k but it's gonna be £30k from next month."

It's rightly not an easy process for employers but it is possible albeit some go through loopholes which is questionable rather than proper processes. Eroding of terms and conditions more popular than changing pay.

[FiddleLeaf]

What’s in your contract?

[daisychain01]

@Toomuch2019

Clearly your husband stepping up is the answer. It's only one day a week. Your work are not being unreasonable.

The way the OP reads, they aren't married, it's DP not "husband". It also sounds like the OP already has two children not by DP (or "boyfriend" as someone says upthread - and there's a backstory there too) hence why the DP isn't involved in any aspects of childcare at the moment. She's on her own in that regard. Not an easy one to reconcile, but the DP feels no obligation to give any support to his partner which makes life very difficult trying to hold down a steady job that has now shifted their goalposts.

@twix23 you currently do have some protections due to your pg, they would be on very shaky ground to dismiss you for not attending the workplace and if they have an HR Dept, they would be mindful of the Equality Act (2010).

Best thing to do is

• bide your time, go on Mat leave and then reconfigure, not least of all trying to find a job closer to home after having your baby.
• have a serious conversation with your DP about him leaning in and supporting you more, even if it's taking on more household jobs, shopping, cooking anything to free you up to do childcare.

[freyamay74]

It's perfectly possible for a company to change t and c provided they go through the proper processes. In the OP's case, the company has a new director and new premises and they want to change some working practices.

Like I said, the terms still seem very favourable if she's only required to be in the office once a week (and presumably her wfh days aren't even set office hours as her child is only with the childminder 9-4!) It seems like a pretty good deal to me. The real crux of the issue here is not the next 3 months or so until she goes on mat leave, it's the fact that she needs to sort out childcare issues in the longer term.

[daisychain01]

I doubt the OP can claim pregnancy discrimination as it sounds like they’re telling everyone the same

this is your opinion, not fact then @OntarioBagnet the OP does have protections under the EqA(2010) - on the basis that if she puts forward a request for a risk assessment due to pg, and being unable to do a 2 hour journey to the office for pg-related reasons, that isn't ever going to be a problem confronted by male employees.

Hence why pg is a separate protected characteristic with its own unique circumstances.

[daisychain01]

@twix23 this is a great organisation to gain employment advice and support from

pregnantthenscrewed.com/help/

[fajitaaaa]

@twix23

My parents and his parents share 3 days and 2 days DD is with a child minder, but my childminder doesn't have the capacity to increase the hours (currently 9-4) and I really don't want to move her as she's so settled and loves this lady, the first one I tried didn't work out so well so I don't want to do that to my DD again! My partner has nothing to do with childcare as comments have suggested, I sort it all. My eldest DD (12) is at school so she comes home 3.15pm. I can of course work with her there her being older and shutting herself in her room anyway lol, but I don't fancy her being home alone for over 3 hours at all either.

Go in on a day your parents look after your child then? Be very grateful & offer them extra money it will go quick if its only 12 weeks til mat leave. Consider starting mat leave earlier?

[sugarspices]

If you tell your employer that you cannot attend because of childcare issues and your pregnancy, I highly doubt they will dismiss you over it. A 4 hour + commute for anyone would be knackering but even more so if you have additional needs due to your pregnancy.

If they were to dismiss you you would have a case for discrimination based on pregnancy & unfair dismissal as a result of pregnancy (usually you need two years but if you're pregnant this right is automatic).

You say you're 5 months pregnant so I assume 20 weeks gone with another 20 weeks to go, that's more like 18 trips into the office than 12.

Has your employer carried out a risk assessment for you? You will know if they have as you have to be involved in it and it should be reassessed as you go. That includes things like stress.

You are also more vulnerable to covid as you are pregnant - I noticed someone asking earlier.

[fajitaaaa]

@Dyslexicwonder

So the obvious question is why have another baby ?

Not really our business.

[daisychain01]

@twix23 I don't normally check on posting history but in your case I remembered your other thread where only 3 weeks ago you were asking us on here how you can leave your partner because he is so unsupportive, stood by watched you breaking your back doing housework. He doesn't respect you, he doesn't do anything to help with any childcare even though he is the father of one of those children.

Do please think about your long term future with someone who you could be wasting the best years of your life with.

your work situation is a big part of that, because it will give you financial independence, so if you can find a job locally in the longer term, that will help. Don't buy a house with him (not when only 3 weeks ago you wanted to leave him), that would be a terrible financial millstone and complexity.

[SheilaFentiman]

“You should also have thought about longer commuting time and what you could manage.”

The OP took the job on a WFH basis without any requirement to come in, other than once a month or so. At that point, the company did not have an office, just a “rent a daily desk” arrangement. If you take a job in Bath and the company moves to Bristol after a few months, you don’t get told that you should have thought about the Bristol commute before taking it.

[SheilaFentiman]

“It also sounds like the OP already has two children not by DP (or "boyfriend" as someone says upthread - and there's a backstory there too)”

FWIW, the older child (aged 12) is not her DP’s, the younger child is.

[Oblomov23]

I fear this whole thing is going to happen a lot more, to a lot more people.

[B0g]

@Boxe rather than suggest posters are liars, try an ‘advanced search’ since the actual search function no longer works on this website.

Whoever was nitpicking over ‘boyfriend’; an abuser is not a ‘partner’ in any way.

[B0g]

anyway, good luck breaking free, OP, hopefully you’ve found some of the links on your other thread useful to start the journey

[JanusTheFirst]

Who is looking after the children when you WFH?

[daisychain01]

@SheilaFentiman

“It also sounds like the OP already has two children not by DP (or "boyfriend" as someone says upthread - and there's a backstory there too)”

FWIW, the older child (aged 12) is not her DP’s, the younger child is.

Indeed, I have corrected myself above 👍

[parrotonthesofa]

It does depend on the contract and what they are allowed to do I suppose.
Unfortunately it seems many fathers seem to just have no responsibility in the childcare logistics and it is left up to women to sort out, often juggling nursery and over relying on grandparents if they want to keep working full time when they have small children.
I have gone down to part time as it was just unmanageable otherwise but I know that that is not a possible or desirable solution for all. I've taken a financial hit also obviously.