Husband going to lose his job but don't know what to do

[Kevinthebird007]

My husband is 58, I am 37. Originally he trained as a jeweller, spent years doing that, then moved into loss management. When we got together 16 years ago he went back to uni to study nutrition and then spent many years working for TfL in customer services.

3 years ago he was medically retired from tfl as he has MS which had made his job impossible to do. He is a full time wheelchair user and also has profound dyslexia. His MS cab affect his short term memory and gives him brain fog.

Earlier this year he applied for another role this time with a charity who provide finance for disabled people. He is a customer service advisor taking calls and referring people onto case managers. The issue he is having is he just isn't fast enough. He can't take the volume of calls others can, he's not hitting his KPIs and on top of that his computer skills aren't great. He's never really had to use one so he's struggling with managing all the programmes as well as the calls. His probation has been extended to February and realistically we both know he won't pass it. He's still struggling and we don't know what to do. If he leaves we will be £800 down a month. I think we can possibly make our outgoings but with energy costs etc I'm not sure we can. He struggles to get jobs, he doesn't interview well as he's quite long winded and not 'trained' for competency based answers. At his age he struggles to get given opportunities and I'm struggling to look forward to Christmas knowing he will most likely be unemployed come February.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm finding it hard not to be snappy and upset - I know it's not his fault but I'm he one who will be taking the brunt financially and while I'm trying to be sympathetic my brain just feels frustrated and angry that there seems to be no job he can do :(

Sorry for rambling but I don't know what to do.

Hi OP, I am very sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through, and so sorry you felt forced to justify yourself to judgemental strangers on here. I think you both need to rethink the the next steps for your husband's career. Is it the dyslexia that is causing issues with the computing part of his job or has he just never been very computer literate or never needed to be? I am a similar age to him and obviously grew up without computers but I now freelance as a multi-media journalist and video editor so am completely comfortable in that field. Could your husband undergo some training to improve his computer skills? He could then find a job to do at home such as transcription services where production companies requires scripts to be typed out for subtitling. Alternatively, would he be interested in going back to jewellery making on his own terms? Bespoke pieces, fixing broken jewellery, resizing etc. I know people are really into handmade and homemade crafts these days so perhaps there could be a market there for him? There are a lot of side hustles these days, hard work but possible. Someone I know was medically retired in her mid 20s and she found a new career designing and making textiles such as tea towels, runners, lampshades etc. Your hubby sounds like a creative person so it may just be readjusting to something new. Good luck.

On Mumsnet everything is your own fault, including having a husband who develops disabilities.

Or it's the useless "cocklodger" man's fault for developing a disability on the first place. Some posters just love to assume all men are just hopeless wasters sponging off women.

Sorry some people are being total idiots on this thread. It doesn’t reflect on you but on them.

Perhaps he could do some self employed work alongside being primary carer? What about personalised nutritional advice via zoom during school hours or after the kids are in bed?

Could he go back to jewellery making?

Also he should use his training as a nutritionist if that's what he recently trained to do.

You need to look into all benefits. It sounds silly but if he isn't working (due to medical reasons) you may be better off working less & getting tax credit top ups. In my mind that's what the system is there to do - support people who are for whatever reason unable to work.

It's a shame he sold his property.

You need to look into all benefits. It sounds silly but if he isn't working (due to medical reasons) you may be better off working less & getting tax credit top ups. In my mind that's what the system is there to do - support people who are for whatever reason unable to work.

Entireky agree with this sentiment but at the risk of pedantry new applicants cannot access Tax Credits any more - it will be UC. Current recipients of Tax Credits will often be moved over to UC if there is a “change of circumstances”