Wfh with baby

[Christmasideafordaddy]

I'm returning to work in early next year. My workplace is very flexible, and I intend of compressing my hours to 5 in 4 days which shouldn't be any issues at all.

I requested to reduce my hours to 30 hours temporarily for 12 months, whilst I get used to being a working parent - and to get some extra time in with my baby whilst they are young. My boss has essentially indicated they won't be supportive of this due to the lack of team resources and lack of cover available, however suggested I work from home flexibly with my child at home, catching up outside of core hours if needs be (my role is remote and doesn't need to be front facing).

Ideally this would be the best of both worlds, as fully salary but spending time with my child too. However, is this realistic? Is it manageable long term?

My plan is to ask MIL to watch them 1 day from my home, put them in nursery 1 full day and have 1 non-working day - so it's just 2 days where I will be working with my child at home. The other option I have is to put them into 2 short days of nursery (9am-3pm), 1 non-working day and 1 day with MIL so I it's just 1 day where I would need to manage without any time of childcare.

In all honestly my baby is hard work, and not very independent so i'd be probably catching up at night regularly.

But if I reduced to 30 hours i'd of been working 7am-7pm as i'd have to have breaks to collect and drop off my child from nursery anyway. Im going to be working into the evening regardless so it seems, unless i put my child into full time childcare - which i dont want.

I dont know what to do. I already feel guilty about returning, since all my friends are going back super low part time (but I cant afford that as i'm the main earner!)

I'm gutted my manager has been rather negative against working part time, they're saying it's because they know ill end up working 37 hours for less money, so is trying to help me out - but i don't think they realise how hard it will be for me to pull off.

Ideally this would be the best of both worlds, as fully salary but spending time with my child too. However, is this realistic? Is it manageable long term?

NO. With a capital N and and capital O. Not in the short term either. You’re employers are really dumb for suggesting it.

I am astonished your manager suggested this. It is not possible to concentrate on work and a child, never mind a baby, at the same time. If it were, they should have been letting people take their children to the office! This is specifically banned by my employer, and most employers I know. And I would think that the employers insurers would have an apoplectic fit if they found out. One of our directors was disciplined for having her graddaighter on her knee during a work meeting (to be fair, that particular director is definitely an idiot anyway!).

What two lockdowns taught me is this is a terrible idea.
You basically won’t feel like a good employee or a good mum. You want have any boundaries between work and home.
I’d be worried you will end up feeling awful and like a failure.

I would also suggest that one day per week at nursery isn’t the best idea. They will struggle to settle!

Good luck whatever you decide.

I'm surprised your Manager has suggested this - it is not sustainable to be caring for a small child and working at the same time. You will wear yourself out and be providing sub -standard work and childcare.

My employer won't permit working while caring for a child under 8.

Perhaps I'd be tempted to try and wing one day a week, working in early mornings, while baby naps and into the evening to fit in the work - would have to be able to block out a day of not attending meetings. However you're already planning to do compressed hours, which will put on additional pressure and longer working days.

Your dc will likely struggle to settle into nursery only going 1 day a week - could you do 3 short days or 2 longer nursery days? Can your dp do some of the drop offs and pick ups and can they compress hours? Can they work from home on the day you are planning to go without childcare?

What about your DP/DH dropping hours?

No don't do it! You'll basically be doing a terrible job of both. Unfortunately

Why can’t your partner cut their hours if u r the breadwinner?

It is not doable at all trying to work with a child/ baby is impossible and soooo stressful it will really affect your mental health as it's impossible to do both well.

This is a terrible idea for all of the reasons already mentioned. A baby going to nurserybonly 1 day per week will also be very unsettled.

Why are you the one having to do all of the juggling and compromising? What is the baby’s father doing to help the situation? You say you’re the main breadwinner so why isn’t he reducing his hours to help?

I don't believe that any manager in their right mind would "suggest" this as an option? Surely this is is just you sense checking this idea rather than your workplace suggesting it? It's bonkers.

I think manager may have meant work at home to cut travelling time or so mil can watch baby in your house and you can see them at lunch. I doubt they think you can watch baby and work.