The dreaded counteroffer 🤯

[CounterQueen]

I recently accepted a new job. I am (was) excited about the role which will allow me to specialise/develop skills in an area I am very interested in. The salary and benefits look good, nice offices, and I already know a few people in the team who I get on well with, so hopefully it won’t feel too strange being the newbie.

I told my current boss this afternoon that I had accepted an offer elsewhere. I was expecting mild disappointment/frustration but acceptance. I was not expecting a (verbal) counteroffer which would involve a decent pay rise (more than what new company will pay) and the opportunity to change my existing duties to be more like the ones I would be doing in the new role. He has been saying again and again how much of a valued team member I am, how he had great plans for my career progression, how I am exactly the sort of person he sees in a very senior position in the company one day etc etc. He even got me to speak to his boss who reiterated all of this.

I was expecting to feel a great sense of relief and excitement once I had resigned, but am now feeling incredibly confused/guilty and don’t know what to do.

Has anyone been in the same position and ended up staying? How did it work out?

Why didn't they offer you all this before you got the other job?

What does your gut tell you?
Can you make a list of pros and cons?

This means nothing until you get everything in writing, Op.

This.

If they valued you, they should have given you the opportunities. Too little too late.

I think I read somewhere that something 80% of people who accept a counteroffer from their employers have still left within the year.

why didn’t they pay you what you were worth before? Had you raised the idea of an increase? What are the fees they would pay a headhunter to replace you?

Many years ago I rejected a really good counter offer due to a sense of obligation to my new employer and still regret it!

I'd recommend pretending you have been offered both jobs from scratch and decide which one you'd prefer. Then, if you feel brave enough, negotiate the one you choose upwards - the new one based on current Co offer or current Co based on the fact they've known you were worth more for a while

Good luck!

I’d suggest not doing anything until the new offer is in writing.

It's great that they can see you in a senior role there - but do you? Why did you apply for the other job in the first place? Was it for the opportunities and salary that are now being offered or something else? Does the new company offer something that the old one doesn't - is it more interesting work etc

If you can see yourself staying there, I'd get the offer in writing with timescales particularly for the salary. Make sure the salary change happens quickly -within weeks ideally. Make sure there's a clear plan for your development - again with clear timetables.

I'd also think about anything else you might want - is there specific course you want to do.

Good luck!

The didn't value you like this till you tendered your resignation so it annoys me when companies do this.

If you accept and stay get everything in writing, a timescale if your upward movement in the company so they can't back track

Was promotion and salary the only reasons you were leaving?

Same thing happened to me and I was counter offered. I took it and for me worked out brilliantly staying where I was. You can look at and wonder why they did not offer it before you got another job but I went on gut feeling and it worked out perfectly.

I once accepted a counter offer purely because I discovered I was pregnant and felt it would be easier to stay put. All worked fine then about a year after mat leave I was made redundant. I don't regret my decision because I suffer severe hyperemesis in pregnancy and spent a lot of time in hospital which would have been awkward in a new job. But in the main I think counter offers are very short term and if you were excited to go to the new job I think you should still go.

I work in HR for a large corporate company. We get many resignations and the ones the company try to keep by promising them xyz almost always end up leaving in the end any way. There’s a reason you wanted to leave in the first place.

HR here 👋
Most people who accept counter offers end up leaving anyway.
I'd be asking myself why the current company didn't realise your value until they have to go through the inconvenience of replacing you and training someone else up.
Congrats on your offer !

I wouldn't - they could have been managing your career succession properly until now but didn't. Now they have realised how much time, effort and money it will cost to replace you and want you to stay. Having left/been made redundant in the past, the new job was always the way to go and I have never regretted it.

I accepted a counteroffer several years ago. The ‘substantial payrise’ I’d been assured of in writing amounted to under £10 a week and the benefits and development opportunities never materialised, I got demotivated and depressed and left to work somewhere better.

I would look at the reasons why you're looking to leave

Does the counter offer take away the reasons? If not, I'd probably still leave

Example; I want to leave my job as it's 40 miles round trip a day. If they were to offer me more money it would still be 40 miles round trip so I'd still leave as planned

If they said I could WFH two days a week I'd need to reconsider my decision to leave

I've just been counter offered and have decided to stay but my reasons for leaving were quite different to yours. Who knows what I'll decide over the next couple of years but I'm in a large industry and hope I haven't burnt any bridges.

He has been saying again and again how much of a valued team member I am
Did you have this impression from his behaviour before you started looking for the new position? If not, why would you believe it now?

I’m very interested in the HR PP’s saying that those who accept counter offers usually end up leaving anyway. I accepted a counter offer when I handed in my notice. I regret it- same issues still there and they’ve still not come through with the pay rise promised. I have an interview for another job next week…

Similar thing happened to my friend, she stayed and it never materialised

Why did you apply for the other job?

If you can adequately answer that, you’ll feel clearer on whether to stay or go.

For instance, if you just assumed you couldn’t have the role you wanted at your existing company, why was that? I’d it because they don’t seem to prioritise training & development? Or something else?

Well you'll obviously need that in writing and with the dates that the changes will take effect and also an understanding of who will be performing your current role.
Once you've considered that, work out the pros and cons.
How easy is it to find another job in your field? I think I'd be tempted by counter offer with a substantial pay rise and then job hunt in 12mths time using that pay rise as leverage

Don't read anything into why they didn't offer you a better deal before you resigned just know that they now don't want to lose you.
They must think highly of you to come up with a counter offer.
Let's face it, most work places don't offer more money or promotion unless you ask or in your case resign (most times not even then)
Ask yourself are you happy where you are or do you fancy a change then decide

Thanks all - plenty to consider!! Apologies if this is a drip-feed but I was headhunted for the new role so wasn’t really actively looking. I was approached about the new role and thought it sounded great so met with HR, managers etc and found myself with an offer.

I think the main source of angst is that I get on so well with my current boss - he’s amazing - and I feel absolutely awful for letting him down. To be fair, I hadn’t explored the potential to change my role before as I didn’t see how it could really work in my current company (which is set up very differently to new company).

Before speaking to my boss I was feeling very excited and positive about the new job, and am wondering if that is what I should be focusing on. I am also very reluctant to burn bridges with the new company by rescinding the offer given I know people who work there (and it’s a relatively small industry).

I declined a counter offer and regret it. But the regret is based upon them fulfilling their counter offer but in truth, they had failed to deliver the most basic level of care towards me and it was only upon leaving that they came up with this most brilliant offer.

They most likely would not have changed and delivered upon their promises, after all if they could have offered a better opportunity why wait until you have disillusioned enough to get another job.

Take the new job and don't feel bad.