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Original poster

Boss thinks I’ve lied

66 replies

FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:06

So during my first week of work, my boss mentioned late working.

I was supposed to say my “ex partner” works away, but I think due to nerves, said “partner”

I had an issue with childcare and was worried that I wouldn’t be able to work over the holidays, so asked if I could work from home, i explained the reason why and I said it was due to not having childcare and being a single mom with no other options.

I was called into the office today and my boss mentioned me asking to work from home and how in the first week, I’d mentioned I had a partner and how it’s important to be honest. Which makes me think they think I’m lying.

i feel so upset. I haven’t got a partner, haven’t had one for a year and been split up with my daughter’s dad since she was 9month old. I don’t know what to do! I don’t wanna go back, I like the job but don’t wanna been seen as someone that lies.

OP posts:
heartbroken22 · 20/07/2022 18:19

Say it was a misunderstanding and you said ex partner. It's not lying. She seems quite uptight. You must have made an impression on her for her to remember everything or word you've said!

heartbroken22 · 20/07/2022 18:20

I don't think she needs to know how long you've been single for etc. just say it was a misunderstanding and you meant ex partner

Itsnotwhatitlookslike · 20/07/2022 18:25

How long have you worked there?

tbh with you saying you can’t work late in the first week and now have to work from home due to childcare issues, they are probably trying to figure out what’s going on. You can’t really look after your child and work and they won’t be wanting to pay you your full wage for not fully working. They just want to know why your DC’s father is leaving all the childcare to you I imagine because they didn’t know you were single.

Original poster
FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:26

@heartbroken22 I don’t know.

I’m in my probation period and I feel like after this, I won’t pass it.

OP posts:
JackieCollinshasnoauthority · 20/07/2022 18:28

Explain you mis-spoke and meant your ex-partner. How long have you actually worked there for and when did you make the request for homeworking? The summer holidays are nearly upon us.

mocktail · 20/07/2022 18:29

Just be honest - say exactly what you said here.

Whatever you do, don't insist you actually said ex partner, as clearly your boss remembers what you said!

Littlefucker · 20/07/2022 18:29

Sounds like it could be discriminatory. They wouldn’t have employed you if they knew you were a single mother. Do you want to work for twats like that?

Original poster
FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:29

@Itsnotwhatitlookslike I wasn’t allowed to take home leave, so I had to take out a loan to pay for childcare as it needed to be paid upfront otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to put my daughter in.

childcare and paying for it, is down to me, my ex won’t help in that respect.

I’ve worked there a couple of weeks.

OP posts:
marcopront · 20/07/2022 18:32

What answer did you give when your boss asked?

PinkFrogss · 20/07/2022 18:32

Did you need to work from home due to childcare as in your child was at home and you had to care for them while working, or due to commute issues and the timings for getting from childcare to work and vice versa?

Original poster
FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:33

@mocktail I know I’d said it as I was talking to my colleague about something and she said “I thought you had a partner” so it was said, I was meant to be say “ex”

OP posts:
Original poster
FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:34

@PinkFrogss work from home due to child being at home too.

OP posts:
Original poster
FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:35

@marcopront that I’m single and I have been for ages.

OP posts:
Welshrarebitontoast · 20/07/2022 18:36

I don’t think it’s any of her business if you have/don’t have a relationship.

It seems she made an assumption that because she thought you had a partner you’d be able to work late.

Sick of this bullshit culture that seems to have developed that in a work environment people have a “right” to know about your home life. Either you can do the job that your paid or you can’t - and that’s all your boss needs to know about.

PinkFrogss · 20/07/2022 18:36

FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:34

@PinkFrogss work from home due to child being at home too.

That would not be allowed in most workplaces, you are paid to work not take care of your child.

I think this was a massively unreasonable request and I can see why they may have some concerns about you unfortunately OP

Jules912 · 20/07/2022 18:37

Just explain that you misspoke, that shouldn't be an issue. However a lot of companies have rules against working from home while looking after children.

Original poster
FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:43

@PinkFrogss I asked to work from home as I didn’t have the childcare for my daughter. Nursery needed to be paid upfront and I didn’t have £400 in my bank to pay it upfront. I’ve had to take out a loan to pay it!

OP posts:
CoolAir · 20/07/2022 18:44

Whether you have a partner or not does not affect your ability to do a job and therefore is none of their business.

HOWEVER they are perfectly within their rights to assume when you took a job you had adequate childcare organised. Again, how you organise that is nothing to do with them but they feel you misled them here.

How old is your chit?
Most organisations will not allow staff to work from home AND look after a young child st the same time so they are well within their rights to refuse this request. It's different if it's a school age child who just needs someone n the house for a couple of hours after school but not all day in holidays.
You need to sort childcare or holiday clubs @FragileLikeABomb if you want to keep this job.

CoolAir · 20/07/2022 18:46

Sorry for all the typos!
That should say how old is your child?

Original poster
FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:47

She’s 10.

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 20/07/2022 18:47

Its absolutely none of your boss business what goes on at home.

PinkFrogss · 20/07/2022 18:47

FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:43

@PinkFrogss I asked to work from home as I didn’t have the childcare for my daughter. Nursery needed to be paid upfront and I didn’t have £400 in my bank to pay it upfront. I’ve had to take out a loan to pay it!

That’s really shit OP and I’m sorry, but it is not your employers problem.

Have you checked you’re receiving all the financial help you’re entitled to?

Whitehorsegirl · 20/07/2022 18:48

Your personal life is none of your boss' business. You do not need to tell whether you have a partner, no partner or an ex-partner nor should they be asking you this type of questions.

If you have childcare issues, for whatever reasons, that prevent you from working late then a job that requires you to stay late regularly or always work in the office is not a good fit for you.

You need to find a job that allows you to work from home or offers flexible, set hours. This should be discussed and agreed before you take on a job.

To me a boss who suggests you are lying about your personal life is completely out of order and I don't agree with companies that expect people to work beyond their contracted hours, usually for free.

I would say this is not the job and environment for you.

Original poster
FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:51

@PinkFrogss i agree, I know it isn’t.

just universal credit and childcare paid up to 85%

OP posts:
IcedOatLatte · 20/07/2022 18:52

FragileLikeABomb · 20/07/2022 18:43

@PinkFrogss I asked to work from home as I didn’t have the childcare for my daughter. Nursery needed to be paid upfront and I didn’t have £400 in my bank to pay it upfront. I’ve had to take out a loan to pay it!

You had to pay 400 for a 10 year old to go to Nursery? Have you mistyped one of those numbers?

How long was she there for?

Have you taken some kind of payday loan, it all sounds a bit of a mess tbh