Boss thinks I’ve lied

[FragileLikeABomb]

So during my first week of work, my boss mentioned late working.

I was supposed to say my “ex partner” works away, but I think due to nerves, said “partner”

I had an issue with childcare and was worried that I wouldn’t be able to work over the holidays, so asked if I could work from home, i explained the reason why and I said it was due to not having childcare and being a single mom with no other options.

I was called into the office today and my boss mentioned me asking to work from home and how in the first week, I’d mentioned I had a partner and how it’s important to be honest. Which makes me think they think I’m lying.

i feel so upset. I haven’t got a partner, haven’t had one for a year and been split up with my daughter’s dad since she was 9month old. I don’t know what to do! I don’t wanna go back, I like the job but don’t wanna been seen as someone that lies.

@Whitehorsegirl with regards to working late, it’s on rota and it’s paid. They’re not being scammy

@IcedOatLatte it’s actually £414, £115 a day and she’s in 4 weeks.

So your boss will be concerned how your going to focus on your work while trying to entertain a 10 year old all day. What was your plan when you took the job?

Can you find a holiday club for her? Some of the ones at council run sports centres are quite cheap,
Your manager may allow you to work from home for half a day if you have to pick her up early

But I don't understand why a 10 year old is going to nursery

@CoolAir I didn’t know that I would have to pay upfront with regards to holiday club.

@CoolAir it’s holiday club.

A lot of nurseries offer holiday childcare and run clubs and outings for them. It’s not unusual.

Oh my goodness, over £100 a day

Are there no cheaper options for a 10 year old?

*Whether you have a partner or not does not affect your ability to do a job and therefore is none of their business.

HOWEVER they are perfectly within their rights to assume when you took a job you had adequate childcare organised. Again, how you organise that is nothing to do with them but they feel you misled them here*

Exactly.

I do have sympathy for you OP as it's tough being a single working parent but there have to be cheaper options than £100 a day for a 10 year old. That's more expensive than a baby!

There’s a holiday club for school aged kids at my children’s nursery, so I can see why OP said “nursery”.

Without getting into the rights and wrongs of asking for WFH so early, you could bat back her enquiries by saying some people can be very judgemental of single parents, and you prefer not to discuss it at work hence why you just said “partner” for discretion.

I'd probably ask for a chat and get things in the open. Sounds like she thinks your trying to wfh and look after a child, which is not acceptable.
You need to tell her what your plans are and start anew.
I think managers are fed up with people giving a poor performance due to juggling children and work. You inly need to read some threads on here to see how much people are taking advantage. Pre pandemic I dodon'know anyone who would have thought this acceptable, but many seem to now.

Over £100 per day?????

@Schooldil3ma i agree, I think people think they can work from home due to how things were in the pandemic.

I agree with @Schooldil3ma
Ask for a chat with her to clear the air and just explain you meant ex partner but you actually didn't think it was a big deal which it really isn't, it's none of their business

Explain to her about the holiday club fees upfront and you can't afford them until you're paid. If she could let you work from home for start of summer until you can afford the club? You've nothing to lose really but being open with her if you have absolutely no other option for childcare

@Schooldil3ma I’ve told her it’s sorted. And I wasn’t going to go against her. How am I supposed to work from home if she doesn’t allow it?!

Do you mean £115 a week?

The partner thing you should have just corrected when asked. As others have said it's not acceptable to work at home during holidays just because you don't have childcare. The vast majority of employers would not allow this. It might or might not be acceptable to use childcare as a reason for not working late. Was the need to work late made clear when you applied for the job?

Because you can't leave ten year olds home alone all day every day, perfectly obviously?

@CoolAir @Schooldil3ma i daren’t. I feel like she will now think I’m too bothersome. After going to her about working from home and I also got done for swearing. I probably look like a terrible employee.

I think the PP was surprised that nursery was used as childcare for a 10 year old. Round here nurseries only take pre-school children. Some nurseries also run holiday clubs, but no one would describe sending their 10 year old child to one of these as sending their child to nursery. I do wonder if OP uses other imprecise language at work, and that might be why they think she is not being honest.

@redskyatnight yeah, a week

You can't work from home if she doesn't allow it. I don't mean to be unkind but did you think this through, what was your plan? You can't just strong arm an employer to let you wfh. You're probably coming across as flakey to her, you've only been there a few weeks and your requesting a change in shifts and a change in location. As a manager she may consider letting you go rather than accommodating your requests.

Is there no one to help out with dd, could some of your / her friends have her over sometimes and you plonk her infront of a screen at other times?

If you want to make this job work I think you need to show yourself in a good light, and not as a potentially difficult employee.

@redskyatnight whether I call it “nursery” or “holiday club” it’s still the same thing. A person is being paid to look after my child. The setting doesn’t matter! Shall we start calling it “primary school” as opposed to just “school” eg - “how was primary school today” don’t want people getting confused..

@Schooldil3ma when I got the job I instantly applied for childcare, all in the same week. The lady that deals with childcare told me it needed to be paid up front, I didn’t have the money to pay it up front.

I then applied for a loan last week but was told I wasn’t eligible, applied for one yesterday and was accepted. I’ve used that to pay the childcare.

If you started saying you were sending your 10 year old to university rather than school on the basis the setting didn't matter, I think most people would be somewhat surprised. Same when you say you're sending a 10 year old to nursery rather than holiday club.

This thread is about you making a mistake about how you described your ex. In the same thread, you've also confused weekly payments with daily payments as well as describing holiday club as nursery. if you use similar generalisations at work on the basis that it's all the same, I'm not surprised your boss thinks that you are not being honest.