Boss thinks I’ve lied

[FragileLikeABomb]

So during my first week of work, my boss mentioned late working.

I was supposed to say my “ex partner” works away, but I think due to nerves, said “partner”

I had an issue with childcare and was worried that I wouldn’t be able to work over the holidays, so asked if I could work from home, i explained the reason why and I said it was due to not having childcare and being a single mom with no other options.

I was called into the office today and my boss mentioned me asking to work from home and how in the first week, I’d mentioned I had a partner and how it’s important to be honest. Which makes me think they think I’m lying.

i feel so upset. I haven’t got a partner, haven’t had one for a year and been split up with my daughter’s dad since she was 9month old. I don’t know what to do! I don’t wanna go back, I like the job but don’t wanna been seen as someone that lies.

@redskyatnight ive always called it “nursery” it’s just ingrained. With regards to “daily” I wasn’t thinking what I wrote, I’m upset so my headspace isn’t 100%

My children went to what is mainly a nursery, and known as a nursery, at ten and past it. As they did pre and after school care.

I'm glad you've got child care sorted now OP.

With regard to them feeling you lied about having a partner, I really wouldn't give it another thought.
They are only allowed to judge you on your performance at work. Whether you're in a relationship or not is absolutely nothing to do with that. Your boss is in the wrong to mention this.

What do you mean you 'got done for swearing?'

This type of issue is why I very rarely mention my personal life at work (single parent with laissez faire EXDP). As long as you're delivering your objectives, they should have nothing to say.

However, due to all these misunderstandings and incorrect phrasing, they seem to have got the impression you need to work from home due to childcare issues. Other than during the pandemic when we had no choice, most employers do not allow this, so you need to find an alternative quickly, so you can honestly say you've got childcare while you are working.

@Starseeking childcares all sorted. She’ll be going to “holiday club” whilst I’m at work.

OP, you've presumably cleared up the misunderstanding. Don't give it another thought. Go back in tomorrow and hold your head up high. Do a good job and that will soon be what they remember about you.

@HardRockOwl i was on my break and had a bit of a panic and whilst I was on the phone, I was heard swearing. But I was in the kitchen and she wasn’t happy due to people being in the building and being able to hear. I apologised profusely and was really sorry.

You said you had a partner, then you didn't, wanted to work from home due to childcare, have been told off for swearing, and you've only been there 2 weeks?

And then you're snippy with well-meaning posters who are confused about you paying £100 a day to send your 10yo to nursery!

Have a bubble bath, read a book, have an early night and make a fresh start at work from tomorrow. Maybe have a word with your boss, explain, and then try to put it behind you.

@mocktail i appreciate what it looks like. I am a good worker, but I do need pulling up sometimes, then I see where I’ve gone wrong and get sorted.

and I am sorry for being sharp on here.

I do agree your personal circumstances shouldn't be be questioned any, but, and I mean this with kindness, it's important to try and think before you speak. (It's something I'm working on too, no judgements.)

In this thread you've called a holiday club for a 10 year old a nursey, fair enough I sometimes say I'm baby sitting when actually the kids are much older and it's more looking after kids, I get how words and concepts get conflated, but if there are more examples of this in your day to day life, I said partner I meant ex, I said nursery I meant holiday club, people will think you're a liar, or at least very hard to work with.

Everyone mixes stuff up under pressure, but my advice would to try and get into the habit of allowing yourself a moment before you reply, if you're concerned with how you come across.

Good luck with the new job!

@suzyscat thank you. I do need to think before I speak, whilst I have the ability to never say anything untoward, I lack the ability to take a breath and let my brain engage. When I’m nervous, I tend to just say anything. Example - someone asked if my daughter was with her dad, and I replied with “yeah, thank god” I didn’t mean it. I’m not like that all the time, if I’m comfortable with someone, I can speak normally.

Chin up OP as @mocktail says tomorrow is another day. Make a fresh start.

If your speaking style is like your posting style you’ll be an office classic in no time

@ToxicCuntMum thank you. 🥰

Congratulations on your new job, I know how difficult it can be to sort everything out as a single parent.

I was going to ask this too.
Sounds like you haven’t got off to a great start