Anyone just done with work at middleage?

[Peterbear]

I've got 25 years left before I can retire. (At 75)the problem is I I honestly don't have 75 weeks left in me. Every job I've had has been a disaster (last 30 years ) with the odd great experience/team. Now I'm 50 I just can't take people and their stupid shit and since covid I have no tolerance for anything. Hate wfh but also feel really anxious and self conscious in an office. Anyone else? Please be kind having a terrible few weeks at work. My boss is now old enough to be my daughter which isn't helping.

Ha ha!! It came from a thread about old sayings. And one of those old sayings was ‘Ill show my arse in the Co-op window’ meaning something was very unlikely to happen e.g If l win the lottery I’ll show my arse in the Co-op window.

l have great affection for Manchester which is where l think they Co-op thing started. So that’s where it came from!

Today it would probably be ‘I’ll show my organic free trade arse in the Co op windiw’

I’m going to have to find an excuse to use that phrase now

I had visions of someone’s crack showing as they were leaning against the inside of the window.

Nope, l think it’s a full on mooney through the window!😂

As women we have had a poor deal compared to my mums generation .
Told we could have it all .Had to juggle careers and childcare -my mum didn't work after she had me .
At the age of 55 having worked full time and brought up two boys (15 years of that on my own ),no wonder I am a little bit tired !
I just want to be able to walk my dog in the morning without rushing back to jump on teams .Instead of spending my weekend planning what we will eat I want to potter round shops of an afternoon selecting ingredients to cook with ,before treating myself to a lovely coffee and a slice of cake !
Oh well,it's nice to dream !

I’m 46 and I’m done in. Worked since I was 16, had two jobs til I was 21. Only had a year off on maternity in total. It doesn’t help that I currently hate my job with a passion.
I'm ready to put my feet up.

The Co-op began in Rochdale

Rochdale! That’s it!

I think if you can afford to work part time and either work from home, at least part of the week, or have a short commute, it makes a big difference .

It also helps if you are struggling due to (peri) menopause or caring responsibilities etc if you have colleagues of a similar age who have some understanding of how you may be feeling

My best friend has MS and they have children and a mortgage with another 20+ years on it
She feels totally trapped she's nearly 40 and she said the thought of working another 27-30 years but both state and NHS pension makes her feel physically sick. She tries not to think about it as she gets really upset.

Could she get ill health retirement?

There's also PIP and ESA. You can work 16 hrs I think and still get ESA. Pip is not to do with work. Might help

I'm 48 and I think I just had a mini breakdown because of this issue. I took a fortnight off sick and now on ADa.
I get one pension at 60 which will allow me to drop to 3 days. But I don't know if I can bear another 12 years of this !!

Your friend could maybe get Access to Work too. That pays money to help people in work
with support.

I was a teacher and had someone in my lessons to help me for 6 hours a week paid for by the government.

hahaha!! Same as me but i'm only 42! And yes, my boss was probably in school when i started this job.

Yes I could have written this myself. I’m 50 in a couple of days. Working 2 jobs and a single parent of 2 children. One of my DC is only 8 years old, so the thought of working another 10 years until they leave full time education is already daunting enough, without another 16 years until I can retire and that’s if they don’t up the retirement age.

im literally halfway through my menopause and struggling with sleep, itchy skin and aching joints. GP won’t consider me for HRT as currently have high bp, so need to get that sorted first.
i just can’t imagine working for next 16-20 years, I’ll be lucky to make it to the end of the year at this rate.

I'm in the same boat. 50, peri-menopausal, with one DS I had at 41, and my gp won't let me have hrt because of high BP so I struggle through each day. I take blood pressure meds but it doesn't stop the stress and the peri symptoms. It just goes on and on..

I've worked since I was 18 with a couple of gaps for children (a year off each time) but I'll have paid my 35 years NI in way before then but I just can't see how on earth I will be able to afford to retire anytime sooner really.

Am I going insane or was it the law once that you only had to work 35 years as a minimum before you could claim the state pension? I've also worked since I was 18 and have done 32 years so I ought to only have 3 years left before I can get my pension. Yeah I know, dream on...

I retired at 55 - took a 25% drop in pension, but it was so worth it. I'd have lost it completely if I'd had to carry on til I was 60 - I'd probably be detained at her majesty's pleasure.

I'm 42 and I feel done! I've worked full-time since I left Uni, aged 21. The only breaks I had were when I took sick-leave for cancer treatments, which weren't exactly enjoyable! We should be mortgage-free within 7 years, but my husband is also desperate to leave work (and has MH issues) and I'm the main breadwinner, so we've said he can stop when the mortgage is gone and I will carry on until we think we can afford for me to stop.

My workplace pension is so-so... in my industry, they keep messing with it and making it worse and worse. We'll probably be heavily reliant on the state pensions and any inheritance which may come our way, but of course we cannot really rely on any of those things. The back-up plan is to move to a cheaper area and live off the proceeds, though I appreciate that we are fortunate to have that option.

I feel bone tired all the time and no longer give a shit shit about work... I do the bare minimum to keep under the radar. The thought of having to keep going for another 15 or 20+ years is soul-destroying.

Funnily enough, I hadn't considered the impact of the menopause on how I feel about things. I had the menopause prematurely following the cancer treatment and I've not been the same since.

I just looked and I can take my first pension at age 55, it's only predicting £12k a year and it would be reduced by 20 percent but it might at least allow me to drop one day, and in theory dd would graduate when I'm 55, so maybe I'll be able to go to 3 days if I'm frugal! That's 7 more years of full time 😬

I thought I was in the minority feeling like this…it’s actually reassuring to know I’m not alone! I’m 42 have worked full-time since leaving uni at 21 and am sick of the pointless meetings, office politics, and wasting time on projects that are quite blatantly never going to work. Hoping to go part-time in next few years to make life bearable.

Well I give even less of a shit about work now!
Been working as support staff for 3 years in a school, but can't be paid the same as other support staff, because I work with post 16 children, rather than 11-16. The role wasn't deemed necessary before I started apparently, but because I did an okay job, they decided to make my then temporary role permanent, but with no pay progression or increments!

If i want to be paid the same as my colleagues, I must apply for roles which are of that grade, but they will not be roles within the post sixteen provision.

Feel a bit stuck.

@TFMinx - if you feel like that now, just imagine what it will be like in 10yrs time. I decided both my mental and physical health were more important, so we paid more on our mortgage, made some changes and I retired at 55. I took my pension (with a 25% cut for taking it early), but I was told the reduction wouldn't really have any effect for 16yrs, so off I went. The day after leaving, I had a massive clear out and EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF PAPER CONNECTED TO SCHOOL went in the recycling bin. It was very cathartic.

I’ve changed my mindset (I’m mid 50’s) so my job is just a means to allow me to live the rest of my life.
So, I do my work well for the 2.5 days I’m there. I arrive and leave on time. There is still the expectation that we should stay back to help unpaid if required. I only do this on rare occasions that the younger less experienced members of staff are really struggling.
My work chat gets archived when I finish for the week, and brought out when I start.

The job I’m in is known for poor mental health so I’m doing everything I can to protect mine.