Anyone just done with work at middleage?

[Peterbear]

I've got 25 years left before I can retire. (At 75)the problem is I I honestly don't have 75 weeks left in me. Every job I've had has been a disaster (last 30 years ) with the odd great experience/team. Now I'm 50 I just can't take people and their stupid shit and since covid I have no tolerance for anything. Hate wfh but also feel really anxious and self conscious in an office. Anyone else? Please be kind having a terrible few weeks at work. My boss is now old enough to be my daughter which isn't helping.

Menopause has ruined my life and I'm 51! Sleep is appalling, anxiety appalling, focus is dismal and overall is fit for nothing right now. Yet I'm meant to work until 67/68!!

Women are not meant to live and work beyond menopause. It's a biological fact. I don't care what Davina says about the magic of HRT, it doesn't work for me!!

Yes 100%

Yes I could have written this myself. I’m 50 in a couple of days. Working 2 jobs and a single parent of 2 children. One of my DC is only 8 years old, so the thought of working another 10 years until they leave full time education is already daunting enough, without another 16 years until I can retire and that’s if they don’t up the retirement age.

im literally halfway through my menopause and struggling with sleep, itchy skin and aching joints. GP won’t consider me for HRT as currently have high bp, so need to get that sorted first.
i just can’t imagine working for next 16-20 years, I’ll be lucky to make it to the end of the year at this rate.

@MondeoFan you need to show your gp this!
Link here about blood pressure and the importance of oestrogen

Yes except I'm 29 and have only worked full time since 21. Kill me now.

Wow @Blimeyherewegoagain this has blown me away. I’ll def be asking about HRT again. My bp is coming down apparently but not where it needs to be. I’m shocked she won’t give it to me as she’s been a fab GP over the years. As I’m turning 50 next week, I will be sure to ask again

I’m 58 and got I’ll health retirement last year. I’m very glad I’ve got it, even though I’ve been almost permanently ill since then.

l was a teacher. Bosses in their mid 20’s. And I’m meant to feel full of enthusiasm and eager for their approval. No thanks! So glad I’m out of the politics and shit.

And yes it was the menopause that drove me out.

Absolutely agree. I started feeling like this during perimenopause but really enjoyed my job - just found it harder to tolerate all the stress, BS and constant oneupmanship colleagues played. Now I'm out of work, not by choice, and finding it hard to be enthusiastic about working F/T in an office again - at this age, it's difficult to feel motivated and passionate about something which I do simply to pay the bills, nothing more. But needs must so I'll have to pretend until I can retire. Fortunately hubby can just about manage to keep me but we live very humbly and watch every single penny except for the odd day trip out however, I do miss my foreign holidays twice a year.

So yup.. if I could be content existing within 4 walls 24/7 then yes, I could give up work now but not quite ready to go mad yet so applying for new roles very carefully and asking companies more questions about them than they probably would like. (I remember one company I applied for - you could hear the gasp when I asked them about 'work/life balance'.. immediate red flag!

At this rate we'll have a camper van convoy ladies! I'd do it any day but the husband likes his home comforts, boring old fart!

I really think this is an equality thing. The menopause and work is just too much.

Bet your public sector. I’m self employed and the same age as you. You’re being massively self indulgent.

Bet your public sector. I’m self employed and the same age as you. You’re being massively self indulgent

Bully for you.Hope you’re proud of yourself.

And if she is public sector then that says a lot about public sector work doesn’t it? Knackering and full of micro managing idiots.

I'm 58 and retired a year ago. Before COVID I did a 3 hour round trip commute and lots of international travel. I decided I couldn't go back to it as it was slowly killing me. I had back problems and was just exhausted. I am now much fitter and 8kg lighter. I miss the salary but retirement has been brilliant.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow totally agree with you !

The bloody menopause is THE most shite thing to happen to a person!
What with working with over enthusiastic staff, it all gets too much when you've had buggar all sleep, fighting anxiety and fatigue.

I just turned 30 and feel the same. Ive barely even started my career but I'm already waiting for it be be over. I dont even feel like I'm in the wrong job, I feel like whatever I would be doing I wouldn't be happy. There is so much I would rather be doing with my time than dealing with things that I just dont care about and having to avt professiibaly when I just want to stand up and scream that I don't give a fuck.

The best thing that could happen to me right now is to be made redundant, most of my best work colleagues have gone having been paid off, but it’s never me, fed up of all the corporate bullshite, am tired, will get a new boss next year, have a contingency plan, if I don’t like him/her I will be off, was trying to hold out until 60 or a redundancy but will go earlier if needs be, will miss the money but I’m currently trying to live on very little to get prepared.

I totally get this

but why 75? Is it a mortgage thing? With that long to go, the caravan really needs to be considered.

Totally understand but unfortunately, to be able to 'rather be doing more with my time' usually costs money at some point so that's why we put up with working/a job until we're in a position when we don't have to rely upon finances quite so much.

My problem is that at 52 I could retire (nice problem to have), but that feels like quite a risk with inflation the way it is and an awful long time (hopefully) to be without work.

Also work does give me quite a bit of status and forms a lot of my network, I'm not actually sure that being retired would suit me, but knowing that I have a choice makes it very hard to motivate myself. I quite often find myself thinking "oh well if they sack me (for laziness) it's not the end of the world"

I used to be really driven and highly motivated, both to progress and to impress, but I don't care anymore and I don't like it.

This needs to be talked about more. It's somehow taboo to suggest that mid 40s is too old to be having children, but obviously if you do that, you're not going to be retiring in your 50s.

People have children late, in the belief that they'll be perfectly fine working well into their 60s

18 years to retirement and not sure how I will make it.

I have a number of chronic health conditions, I can only work part time and am writing this from bed I’m so done. I saw online that they are going to be raising retirement another 2 years too. I didn’t have the heart to look to see if that included my age group, it’s too depressing.

if we hadn’t had to sell our first house and remortgage to move from noisy neighbours, our mortgage would have finished next summer. As it stands we have another 15 years. I feel defeated by it all.

This, 100% 🙌

It would be outrageous to suggest theat women should retire at menopause, but the SLT (which I am part of) at the school I work at is entirely made upmof women in their late 40s and early 50s and no one cares. We do what must be done for safeguarding but there's no enthusiasm or drive, TBH no one even really cares about results now. That's not a good thing.

I think it should be an option for those who are debilitated by it. Not that this government will do anything.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow , sorry to derail, but I’m intrigued as to how your username came about? Is there a story?