Quitting work before baby arrives - OH low income... am I mad?

[Caels]

We have a 10-month old baby girl and baby 2 is arriving on September 7th. I'm the breadwinner and we need my income for a current mortgage application. But, once that's done, I want to quit (mortgage v.small). My OH has a very small monthly payment (not exactly income) that would cover bills/mortgage/a bit of food. I'd have to work part-time self-employed to make up the rest (not my first time doing so, so I know how to get work) but I feel like I'd be SO much freer!

Am I insane? I'm giving up a good salary and 3 months' full pay for maternity leave (I'm not entitled to the usual package because of a contract change but my employer is offering me a discretionary payment). I really HATE the corporate world, I have no motivation and no desire to climb the career ladder. I want the freedom to be with my babies and work under my own steam at times that suit my family. But I know in doing so, I'm facing a huge drop in income and security. I used to work in end-of-life care though, and I know the importance of those days with family vs. those days spent working for the benefit of a company. It might seem extreme, but I really do think life is for living, not for working.

At first, OH said I was making a rash decision based on "pregnancy brain" (not totally untrue) but has since been supportive and really understands my desire to be free from an employer.

FYI, if I take the maternity leave I have to work full time for 6 months on my return to work, otherwise, I have to pay it all back. So it's a choice of quitting in August just before baby or sticking it out until NEXT June/July.

HELP PLEASE!

Why doesn't your OH work? Ate they the SAHP? If you are taking on that role, would it free them up to go back to work?

You would be mad to do this. I can understand that you might want to stay home with your baby, but you are the breadwinner. My question is why doesn't your partner work? He needs to step up and help to support you and your children financially.

Is op a SAHP or can be just not be arsed to work ?
I suppose one of you needs do support your family. It's not just about getting by now - what about retirement/ uni fees etc ?

Sorry DP/DH not OP

Yes you are mad

Bonkers.
Take ML. Put the extra above stat ml in a savings account. See how you feel at the point you need to go back to work. Keep the option open.

Yes, you're mad. Is it all or nothing? A lower paid/part time/lower stress job perhaps? Or partner works? I wouldn't be choosing a precarious financial future for a young family.

you wouldn't have to pay it all back you would just have to pay back anything you were paid above statutory maternity pay. You could bank the extra you are paid above Stat in a savings account and then give it back after maternity leave if you wanted to.

You would also accrue annual leave whilst on maternity leave which would be a few more weeks of full pay that you would be entitled to at the end of your maternity leave.

Seems a bit daft to me to quit before maternity leave.

Crazy to do this! I had two under two, didn’t want to work but so glad I did as now they’re primary age they have so much that needs spending on! They won’t always be babies, think long term! No point giving up work to enjoy them being young if you end up being stressed about money!

Ah so right yo the last paragraph I was thinking it would be a bit fucking stupid for the sake of a few months, but given the clause about having to return full time for a minimum of six months, and you knowing you’d make some money being self employed, honestly I’d probably quit too… just maybe a little nearer the due date, no sense in jumping too soon really.

I wouldn’t, no way. Especially with the cost of living increasing/ general murmurs about recession etc.

No I wouldn't personally. There's a recession on its way.

but given the clause about having to return full time for a minimum of six months she only has to do that if she wants to keep the 3 months full pay they have given her.

Given that stat maternity pay is 90% of your wage for the first 6 weeks (so half of that 3 months) she would only have to pay back 10% of her wage x 6 weeks and 100% x 6 weeks minus her statutory maternity pay (which is about £156 a week) after that.

We probably aren't talking about huge sums to find to pay back the extra if she decides she doesn't want to return to work on those terms after she has had her maternity leave and pay.

Why would you turn down the stat pay if you were entitled to it?

How soon after dc2 birth can you freelance? Do you have savings to cover the gap? Who will look after the dc while you do the freelance work? Can your oh get something better paid for a few years to enable you to focus on your dc? Tbh, 2 small kids with one very low income and one freelance income doesn't sound great. What if there's a bigger bill to pay - new boiler, work on car, expensive bit of dentistry?

Even if you can pay the bills, what will you do for a pension, and anything to set the kids up in the future? Can you not just go part time for a bit?

Why doesn’t your OH work? I think you’re mental personally to even consider quitting a good job when your partner doesn’t work and you have a baby on the way.

I agree with this completely. It keeps your options open.

You may find yourself desperate to go back to work - having kids, counter gender stereotype made me want to progress and provide. I am also a much better mother when working.

I think you're mad. Me being in a full time well paid job saved me when my ex suddenly had a personality transplant and ditched me with 3 kids to go it alone. There's so many things to consider, the future, the cost of living increases etc. Stick with something secure for your own piece of mind. I'm a nurse and see how important spending time with family is, but I've also been in a shit situation that being financially secure helped massively.

I'm the breadwinner in our relationship although my partner earns more than a small monthly wage and I think this is a totally bonkers idea! Why would you purposefully make a decision that you know will have a huge negative impact on your family? Financial insecurity isn't a pleasant experience.

As someone said upthread, there is a recession in its way. Freelancers are a discretionary spend and clients are hard to find, especially when you're not established. 6 months really isn't very long.

Can your DP work or is the monthly payment something like PIP/ESA because they can’t? Is that payment they get likely to be stopped at some point or is it forever? I don’t think I’d want to rely on a small payment to keep things going, so many things can go wrong. Can you work part time?

It seems… unwise (sympathise with the sentiment though)

Sorry I meant can you work part time at your current job instead of quitting completely. I think I’d at least be taking the maternity package.

It's a mad idea. Why would you give up financial security. Leave your options open.

Doesn't sound much fun living in what your partner is contributing.

if I quit he’d also work part time self employed (as an online English as a Foreign Language teacher, same as me). He is the full time parent right now