Quitting work before baby arrives - OH low income... am I mad?

[Caels]

We have a 10-month old baby girl and baby 2 is arriving on September 7th. I'm the breadwinner and we need my income for a current mortgage application. But, once that's done, I want to quit (mortgage v.small). My OH has a very small monthly payment (not exactly income) that would cover bills/mortgage/a bit of food. I'd have to work part-time self-employed to make up the rest (not my first time doing so, so I know how to get work) but I feel like I'd be SO much freer!

Am I insane? I'm giving up a good salary and 3 months' full pay for maternity leave (I'm not entitled to the usual package because of a contract change but my employer is offering me a discretionary payment). I really HATE the corporate world, I have no motivation and no desire to climb the career ladder. I want the freedom to be with my babies and work under my own steam at times that suit my family. But I know in doing so, I'm facing a huge drop in income and security. I used to work in end-of-life care though, and I know the importance of those days with family vs. those days spent working for the benefit of a company. It might seem extreme, but I really do think life is for living, not for working.

At first, OH said I was making a rash decision based on "pregnancy brain" (not totally untrue) but has since been supportive and really understands my desire to be free from an employer.

FYI, if I take the maternity leave I have to work full time for 6 months on my return to work, otherwise, I have to pay it all back. So it's a choice of quitting in August just before baby or sticking it out until NEXT June/July.

HELP PLEASE!

I'm going to go against the grain on this one. As someone who has worked an unbearable job before, I would say put your mental health first.

There is a difference though to finding a job stressful, and then being at the point where you mentally can not cope anymore. If it's the latter, get out of there. If it's the former, then stick it out.

Do you have a lot of savings? If you do then you'll be just fine. Just make sure you have a plan for when you eventually go back to work.

Forget about the actual figure of the pay cut you'll be taking, and focus on the figure that you WILL be living on should you decide to quit. If it's manageable then do it. I'm sorry to everyone who disagrees but life is too short to be miserable just to have fancy things.

Do you like your job enough to go part time there? Workplaces are scared to turn down p/T or flexi working requests at the mo.

It seems there are a lot of ‘hopefully’s’ with your plan.
Hopefully you’ll both get clients quickly.
Hopefully you’ll move into your rental property if you need to (but then you won’t have that income).

Its your life but it seems a big gamble!

The fact that your monthly income covers mortgage and bills and you have a mortgage free property already means that you are not actually fully dependent on a salary.

I think you should do it - good luck !

How much of your current monthly income would childcare for two children under 2 take up?

I had a two year age gap and it wasn't financially viable for both DP and I to work full time. We were actually financially better off with one of us working part time by the time childcare was factored in. It just so happened that I was redeployed on maternity leave and was largely able to choose my role and hours because of it. So I worked PT evenings around DHs full time hours.

It is hard with 2 young children and I think 2 full time working parents would be hard. That being said, it was also hard doing what we did. I was permanently exhausted for three years. I never had a decent break or time to myself. (I am someone who needs that). Basically with 2 young kids you just need to do what you need to do to survive until they are a bit older. Once mine both went to school, life got financially and practically easier, although then Covid happened. 😁

I think you’re bonkers to consider this - and living in a bit of a utopian bubble if you believe you could both tutor online with 2 babies in the house. I do online tutoring and need absolute quiet when working. Only 1 of you will be able to tutor at a time, so in effect you’ll only be bringing in 1 income.
The fact that you have a rental property but are paying rent out yourselves and are applying for a mortgage doesn’t make any financial sense. If it’s only bringing in a small amount of money, it’s not likely to be worth very much. Certainly not enough to support 2 adults when they retire.
I suggest you stick with your employer’s maternity package for now, put the money you receive in mat pay into a savings account then reevaluate your financial situation when you’re due to return to work next year. You’ll find that your access to benefits are limited if you make yourself unemployed, and because you own a property, this will certainly impact on any benefits claim.
you’re correct - life’s too short to not follow a dream, but putting yourself in a position where you’re financially challenged, which you will be, is madness.

God no

I know you have thought it through and think you can make it work but tbh as the main earner I think it is a bit of a rash plan. Having two kids is very different to one, I would keep the status quo until you see how things go. Worst case scenario you would have to stay in a job longer than you would like but if you are in the UK where life seems to be getting more expensive by the minute I would value stability and a regular income for now.

My husband and I both work part time and it’s great. We were just saying yesterday we’d rather cut down on meals out, not have expensive cars etc than be stuck working when we could be out at the beach with the kids on a sunny day they have off school 😀. We, like you, had things pretty sorted before having kids, so we had a small mortgage on a decent enough house (not big by any means) and a rental one as well. It would be different if you didn’t have secure housing.
My kids are older now, just going in to teenager years and it’s worked well for us so far. There’s always someone around if one is off sick, and in holidays we can tag team each other so one has kids while the other works. It means we both have an equal relationship with the kids too. If you can afford to do it then you absolutely should.
My only issue would be the maternity pay. I wouldn’t like to loose out on free money 😀. I’d be tempted to stick the job out for the maternity pay and the six months it takes to pay it back and then go ahead with your plan. But that’s maybe because I found the baby year the least enjoyable! Would you be able to go back part time for a year instead of full time for 6 months?
Hope it all works out for you whatever you decide.

Thanks for this reply. A lot of people think I’m nuts and yes, I can definitely see the wisdom in getting my “free” money (even if I hate the idea of being stuck working it back, it seems worth it). But I am in a very similar position to yourself: decent investment property, extremely small upcoming mortgage and low level lifestyle. 2 kids under 2 are just going to be a slog for the next few years, I know that, but I think one parent doing all the work and one parent doing all the care just doesn’t work for us. It breeds resentment on both sides and part time work for each of us would likely work out a lot better. I love the idea of a bit of flexibility to go somewhere on a week day and be off when the kids are ill without stressing, full time work for the sake of fancy things (which don’t interest us anyway) just seems pointless

Do it!
You will see that you will manage. We always did. Xx

I would just get the maternity pay, work the 6 months and then reevaluate. I don’t think that 6 months will be remembered by anyone in a few years, but it will help you financially and make life a bit less stressful.
I did a bit of teaching English as a foreign language and found it to be quite stressful and a lot of work! Perhaps it just wasn’t a good fit for me though, it seems you know what you’re doing with it!

My only real concern is where you would get clients from, and how long it is since you last tutored online and was it in the UK.

The reason I ask is that UK FE colleges and lifelong learning providers offer ESOL and then GCSE English courses free of charge. Education has also changed drastically in the last three years, including a rise in the number of online tutors available.

You may of course know this, and be offering your tutoring to people outside of the UK, or very specific business or academic English, in which case good luck to you - but if it's been a while since you've done it I'd check the demand is there and definitely regular enough for you to metaphorically jump ship.

Whilst you haven't been tutoring a lot has changed, and I'd hate for you to jump on the basis of prior experience and find the market has changed and you can't get enougb work.

I am totally with this. I too had a well paid (paid much more than my DH) but stressful job that sucked the joy out of life. I tried to carrying on doing it when I became a mum and I was so miserable. I left it for a considerably less paid part-time job and I never looked back! Life is too short! If you can manage - and it sounds like you can to me then do it! We had to accept that with a smaller income we couldn’t go on holiday every year or day trips etc as much as we used to but it absolutely worked for my family - and for my mental health which, in turn, made me a better parent. Good luck OP 🍀

Another vote for bonkers! But your decision of course. I’d personally take Mat leave early and bank the money, and take the decision when you’re due to return. As others have said it’s not a good time to be out of work right now - your position could change a lot by time you’d be due to return. Keep your options open