Quitting work before baby arrives - OH low income... am I mad?

[Caels]

We have a 10-month old baby girl and baby 2 is arriving on September 7th. I'm the breadwinner and we need my income for a current mortgage application. But, once that's done, I want to quit (mortgage v.small). My OH has a very small monthly payment (not exactly income) that would cover bills/mortgage/a bit of food. I'd have to work part-time self-employed to make up the rest (not my first time doing so, so I know how to get work) but I feel like I'd be SO much freer!

Am I insane? I'm giving up a good salary and 3 months' full pay for maternity leave (I'm not entitled to the usual package because of a contract change but my employer is offering me a discretionary payment). I really HATE the corporate world, I have no motivation and no desire to climb the career ladder. I want the freedom to be with my babies and work under my own steam at times that suit my family. But I know in doing so, I'm facing a huge drop in income and security. I used to work in end-of-life care though, and I know the importance of those days with family vs. those days spent working for the benefit of a company. It might seem extreme, but I really do think life is for living, not for working.

At first, OH said I was making a rash decision based on "pregnancy brain" (not totally untrue) but has since been supportive and really understands my desire to be free from an employer.

FYI, if I take the maternity leave I have to work full time for 6 months on my return to work, otherwise, I have to pay it all back. So it's a choice of quitting in August just before baby or sticking it out until NEXT June/July.

HELP PLEASE!

I’m not entitled to stat at all as I changed contracts from a French one to a uk one (same employer)

Sorry, this is one of the worst ideas I've read in a long time. It's madness.

Yep either you become the SAHP and he gets a job or you keep working. Your suggestion is mad.

I’m not entitled to stat. This is a discretionary payment that’s a one off for the company globally. I’d only get maternity allowance of £157 a week usually.

Absolutely no way would I do that. Pensions, employee benefits, sick pay all to go free lance? Nope. What happens if you got sick and couldn't freelance? The cost of living is increasing rapidly. How would you cope with unexpected bills?

I'd have to work part-time self-employed to make up the rest (not my first time doing so, so I know how to get work) but I feel like I'd be SO much freer!

Have you been self-employed as a parent though, because the childcare does make it trickier.

I freelanced part time until my youngest was eligible for 30 hours but my dp has a good salary. Not amazing, but enough that we could cover the basics and then my earnings covered treats, kids clubs, UK holidays etc. We have lived quite modestly for the last 6 years but we have saved a ridiculous amount on childcare and have really benefitted from the flexibility of my work. Working around the kids wasn't easy though, I worked evenings and weekends and nap time and then later on school/nursery hours. I answered emails whilst cooking the dinner and often didn't stop until after midnight. I've just started in an employed role so that we can get a better and easier mortgage because the cost of living craziness may well mean we get asked to leave our rented house soon. I will also say that my partner lost his job once and although he found a new one quite fast there were a few months when things were very tight and quite scary. And that was on old prices! So although we have benefitted from a similar set up, and a few years ago I'd probably have said go for it, I think now it's probably a bit too much of a risk.

Why on earth would you give up work? Children are expensive

If you had the mortgage paid off then maybe you could figure it out if you both worked part time but you have a mortgage.

PS none of us want to be working by the way!!!!!

Absolute lunacy.

It’s actually scary to think about.

I couldn't do that, not without an actual income coming in.

I get that you want to spend more quality time with your family. Understandable. But as someone who’s been there and got the t-shirt having no money and having to live hand to mouth. Worrying about every bill. That’s no life either.

Can you return part time to make it more bearable but keep some security? You can change your decided to quit later but it keeps your options open. Also you can ask for 4 weeks unpaid parental leave which will count towards the 6 months - add in accrued holiday and you may not actually need to work for 6 months to keep the mat pay. Can you delay your decision until your partner has supplemented some of the potential lost income? With the cost of living crisis I would explore delaying making the decision and exploring other options before quitting completely. Not sure why you need to make the decision now. Just keep back your mat pay in case you need to repay it- you'll be no worse off

It sounds... brave. If it helps, in years of employment law I have only once seen someone pay back non-statutory mat pay. Cynically, your firm will mess up somehow on KIT days or just see the upside in negotiating you out so they can replace you properly early doors. Go for a negotiated exit that works for everyone.

Have you thought about both working PT?

Then you’ll both have time with the DCs, both be financially contributing, still have a decent income and also have the freedom to increase or reduce hours in the future.

You would be stupid to do this.

Yes, totally mad. Think about the stability for your family.

Life is too short to spend it in poverty wondering whether to put food on the table or pay the mortgage this month.

To be free in the sense just means to have no support.

Why don't you both go half-time?

I don't think you are insane at all. I sometimes wish I was brave enough to do this (and could afford to)

But perhaps better to go on maternity leave and make your decision about returning nearer the time you would need to return. It sounds financially tight? You could save your maternity pay in case you need to pay it back. Do you really need to go back full time?

You would be an idiot to do this

No chance - perhaps when you've had the baby and settled back to work and your DH has found a decent job, and got regular hours and clients yes but not now, you've responsibilities and two (nearly) children. Sort yourself out first then make calculated and sensible decisions for the whole family's needs

You would only have to pay back any enhanced element. You would still get statutory (90% for 6 weeks then £130ish a week for 33 weeks).

So don't quit before you start ML. Take the ML and if you still want to quit after 6 months or so then you can.

thanks for all your replies. The consensus seems like I’m crazy, which I understand, but I probably haven’t been clear enough.

My partner CAN work he just is the SAHP because I could transfer my contract from France and he couldn’t and with the cost of childcare, it didn’t make sense for him to get a job.

I own a rental property (mortgage free) which brings in a small income each month. In the scenario that I quit, we would both be working part time SE. We have both done this before (before kids, thank you to the person who brought up the idea of considering what it’ll be like with kids, I think this is really valid), and it will take very little time (a month max) for us to get a good handful of clients each. Even in recession the demand for our skills doesn’t go down, although the hourly fee may. We also have savings that would cover things like a boiler repair (already in the pipeline and accounted for) and car breakdowns etc. So we WOULD have an income, it would be smaller and less guaranteed, but I can always take in less stressful, proper part time work if need be.

In terms of pension etc, I am not a person who worries about this. My rental property is an intended pension supplement, however, if things got tight before then, I can sell it and get a fairly decent cash injection.

Thanks for this, it’s heartening to know some folk have been freelance with kids. I just think there’s a lot more flexibility and it’s not new to me as a working pattern.

i understand about the mortgage, that’s why we’re trying to secure our house now and we’d actually be saving a good amount each month compared to renting . I also own a mortgage free rental property which I suppose, if things got tough, we could move into after the appropriate notice for the tenants etc