S/o I manage asks me to sign off on her mitching off work

[Folicky]

I manage someone who writes ambiguous emails to me which I need to approve as her manager. The bit that she's trying to slip in is usually not given centre stage, indeed you would often not know that it is the subject of the email. I might reply, yes that's okay only to find out that something that has incidentally been mentioned actually give her the licence to be off work for a few days allegedly working on it. It I try to clarify the request, I am accused of being autistic. If I pull her up on not covering her workload, she says I'm overly conscientious. I would say I do like to do a good job but that I don't overdo it and I'm not a perfectionist. I'm a big Prieto principle, FlyLady adherent. Any advice for dealing with this skiving and vexatious complaints if you try to manage it. It's maddening and having a serious effect on wellbeing and my family life, not the substance of my job, this bullshit. I trained somewhere else and that is definitely part of the picture here

Accusing you of being autistic? That’s a HR issue right there.

If I try to clarify the request, I am accused of being autistic. If I pull her up on not covering her workload, she says I'm overly conscientious.

So what? Who cares what your direct report accuses you of? And since when is "being autistic" an accusation? If she tried that on me, I'd be speaking to HR. And if someone's not covering their workload then it is literally your job to be conscientious about it.

Grow a pair, ask for more detail and ask specific questions, don't let her fob you off, don't be afraid of her making a vexatious complaint.

What’s a s/o?

What's a S/O and what does mitching mean please? I'm pretty sure mitching isn't a word. Typo?

s/o, mitching, what are you actually talking about?

Does S/O mean subordinate?
What does mitching mean?

Try skiving - you need to insist that any request for leave or leaving early is clearly documented in a specific format so that good records can be kept. Not in the midst of an email on another subject. If she refused or becomes defensive, point out that this is a reasonable request and is not for negotiation.

If she continues to undermine your position, or won't adhere to good workplace practice, you need to formalise it in a meeting where notes are taken and actions agreed.

Do you have an HR department ?

Are you trying to say someone you're a managing tries to get you to sign off on her skiving work?

And when you try to clarify on her ambiguous emails she throws insults around?

Have you managed people before? I don't like pulling rank but it needs to be done here.

I think s/o means someone, no idea about mitching though!

Op I couldn't understand half of your post (whether that's an issue at work too or not I don't know), but I assume it was written in haste.

Whatever. Pp was right, calling you autistic as an insult is definitely an HR issue. And no one you line manage should be accusing you of being too conscientious.

Speak to HR and / or your line manager.

I can’t understand half of your post, hopefully it was just because you were in a rush, otherwise this woman may have a point…

She's being rude to you and you're letting her? She's using autistic as an insult, that's not on.

S/o = someone I think. Mitching I’m guessing is missing.

What strikes me is though, you’re a manager but you’re allowing this person to undermine you. You’re also not reading her emails correctly if you say she “hides” these requests in the subtext, but you notice it later. Is this a new role? Sorry but you don’t sound like someone who should be managing people if something as basic as this is over your head

This. Although the person sounds vile with the 'autistic' comment.

OP I'm sorry you have had less than sympathetic responses here when it sounds like you are in quite a stressful situation.

I think the only answer is to tell yourself that you don't care what she thinks about you. You need to understand her emails. If she complains about that, remind her you are her manager and she is not to talk to you disrespectfully. If it carries on, record it and go to HR.

Mitching = bunking off

I really struggled to understand your post tbh so I think the lack of clear communication may be working both ways? Anyhow if the person you manage has form for hiding stuff in emails why are you replying without taking time to read them properly, just read them fully before replying then agree to the bits you agree with but say no to the other parts, it’s not hard.

Mitching means skiving off, like mitching off school. S/o means someone

Never heard of Mitching.
curious, what region is it from?

the accusation of being autistic is downright offensive tbh.

Because it’s being used as an insult I mean.

Your mum is right.

You need to approach this systematically and get HR involvement.

How long have they worked for the business? Because if not long, I would be going to my manager and saying I would like to look at moving them on. Would your company support that? Have you made your manager and Hr team aware of the issues? Are you recording everything systematically?

I don't see how you are approving them being off work without being aware of it...

Fgs. Wrong thread.
When will they fix the freezing and jumping about on this new launch?!

We use mitching in Ireland. Well, we did when I was in school, I don't know what it's called now.

Never heard of mitching off
S/O make me think of significant other
Maybe use terminology that people will understand

OK calm down folks.

Mitching is Irish slang for bunking off.

S/o I would suggest in this context is subordinate.

Mitching here means skipping work/school. Student mitching lessons to smoke in the toilet etc.
I would tell her that all leave requests must be sent in their own email with no other subjects discussed for auditing purposes and or create a document/form that should be filled in and attached in its own email.